Man Transformation - April 7-11, 2008

FJ Shark

2010-12-09T23:43:00.003-10:00

It seems that DYD is "recycling" his monthly 'Dating Gurus' CD series.
Style was last month. It was a 2-set CD from 2007. I hadn't heard this program for a couple of years. However, listening to Neil gave me some insight to some of my sticking points. Going back to the basics reminded me to re-focus on the finer nuances of relationship development.

This month was FJ Shark. I have never heard of him, but the copyright of the CD was 2006! What resonated with me was his explanation of why jerks are 'successful' with meeting women. At the same time, how to incorporate the 'jerkiness' at the appropriate time & still be the cool guy!

FJ Shark interview with Carlos Xuma
http://abmp3.com/mp3/album/interview-with-fj-shark.html

FJ Shark interview with Alan Roger Currie (Author of Mode One)
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/modeone/2008/04/25/men-are-you-the-jerk-that-women-love-an-interview-with-seduction-guru-fj-shark

FJ Shark on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glqy1fnXLzo

The Art of Charm Banter Lines

2010-12-09T23:37:00.002-10:00

Hi Guys - During the Art of Charm Boot Camp you will be shown how to use these banter lines. Menace

http://cdn.pickuppodcast.com/Stock_Banter_Cheatsheet_%28bonus%29.pdf

The Art of Charm: Stock Banter Lines

All right fellas, as promised, here’s a quick and dirty cheat-sheet of some of the banter that we use to spice up interactions. It’s more or less written for personal use, and the context for use of many of what follows might be unclear. That said, there re a few gems in here that you can take off with right out of the box. All you’ll be aiming to do here is use a few to get the idea of what role banter plays in your interactions with other people, especially women, and to gauge their reactions. Now, go out there and meet some women!

Did you come over here just to flirt with me?

Stop treating me like a sausage with feet!

You better be getting back to your friends before they realize you’re over here flirting with me.

You know, you’re a cool girl… I don’t care what your friends say about you.

This is a great spot for me; I’m really well lit.

Something smells great in here. Oh, it’s me!

You’re cool. You can help me pick up chicks.

We’d never get along. We’d fight all the time. And I’d win.

I used to be too modest, but I worked at it and now I’m perfect.

You’re my new girlfriend. Oh, wait, can you cook?

I’m going to take you home in my little pocket and ask my roomies if I can keep you. Are you housebroken?

We’re broken up!

You’re fired!

Don’t make me get the bible out!

Now you’re just talking while you’re trying to think of something to say...

What’s your name? Oh, it’s nice to meet you, Muffin.

Which one of you two would win in a fight?

Give me a kiss on the cheek, and maybe I’ll let you forgive me.

I’m too high maintenance for you.

You girls aren’t tourists, are you?

I gotta go, I left a knife in the fork drawer.

You guys are trouble. Who’s the biggest trouble maker?

I said I wouldn’t date bad girls anymore. Get out of here.

What are you guys still doing here? That’s it, get out, I’m going to have to call security.

I’m going to have to ask you to leave. (Smile)

Do you guys have ID?

You’re way too young for me. (Great for young guys)

It’s Okay, you can kiss me.

I was just trying to have a guy’s night-out. You totally ruined it. You had to be so cute.

You’re so totally adorable, like a puppy. Bad puppy, you’re always trying to slobber on me.

Omg, it’s you! I can’t be seen talking to you again, I’ll be right back.

You guys aren’t from (The city you’re in), there’s no way. How long are you in town for?

If you can take me anywhere on vacation where would it be?

No, it’s fine, you don’t have to buy me a drink.

You’d look cute with a fanny pack.

You’d look cute with a Mohawk.

I’ll put you in my pocket and you can be my personal GPS system.

You seem safe.

I feel like I can trust you…with nothing.

You don’t like me…as a friend.

Let’s be best friends forever but, no sex.

I can’t go home with you tonight.

I see me and you rolling around in the sheets being totally non-sexual.

Is that what you say to all the guys?

Is that one of your pickup lines?

Don’t say anything, you’re cute. You’ll mess it all up.

You’re doing great. Honestly, keep it up.

I’ll make you the best bowl of popcorn/cereal.

On our first date make sure you the cut crust of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Wear cute shoes to our first date.

Where are you taking me this weekend?

You don’t have to be nervous, it’s cute.

You look like you’re up to no good

I saw you checking me out, if I didn’t come and say hi I was scared you’d follow me home later

You’re going to like me better the third time you see me.

I walked by twice and you didn’t flag me down, try to grab my ass or anything what’s going on over here?

Do you remember me? You were standing over at the bar and I walked by you? Yeah it was me, I was that guy.

Did you save this seat for me?

Did you miss me?

Whoa, Whoa, don’t beat me up.

Don’t look at me like that. Are you going to fight me in front of all these people?

I’d so take you. I’d tickle you until you pee your pants.

I see the way you look at me, like I’m a piece of meat. I need trust comfort and connection.

I hate this place; I get treated like a piece of man flesh.

I’m not a sausage with feet.

Stop. Stop trying to flirt/impress/check me out/ undress me with your eyes.

You’re doing a great job. Where are you taking me out?

Don’t worry. You don’t have to be nervous, it’s cute.

Did he call? Its okay we all get stood up sometimes.

How many months have we known each other?

I’m high maintenance. You need to wine me and dine me.

I’m emotionally unavailable.

It’ll never work out. I’d never take your shit and you’d never take mine.

We have too much in common. We’d fight all day long. And I’d win.

You guys are such players.

Stop. What are you doing? I tried to have a guy’s night-out and you had to be all cute stuff. You totally ruined it for me. I had to come by and say hi to the cute girls.

My friends are going to kill me.

Stop flirting with me in front of my friends. They’re getting jealous. I promised them I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight.

You’re getting me all emotional. You’re making me think impure/ naughty thoughts.

You must’ve driven your parents crazy.

Isn’t it a school night? Do your parents know where you are?

Your parents would never approve of this.

Stop stalking me or I’m going to have to get a restraining order.

Hey I know you. Ok, I’ll see you later.

I’ll adopt you as my little sister. We can climb trees and drink kool-aid.

I haven’t gone through puberty yet, I can’t get hard. Try your best.

OMG you’re getting me wet.

Do you mind watching my drink? Don’t put any roofies in there or anything. If someone tries to steal it kick their ass.

Hey thanks I’ve been waiting for that. (Her drink)

Aww, for me? Thanks, you’re like my little angel.

Quit your day job. I’ll double your salary. You can be my bodyguard.

You can be the president of my fan club. You’ll follow me around and have me autograph every picture you take of me

I’m not that kind of guy okay.

Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not easy.

I hate you. We are so over; I called you 3 o’ clock in the morning last night and left 9 messages. I can’t believe you treat me like this.

C’mon let’s play.

You are taking this way too seriously.

You’re messing it all up. You’re back to square one with me missy.

That’s it. You lost me. I’m not talking to you for two minutes.

Let’s play a game. Let’s see how long you can hold your breath.

Where’s your off button?

Let’s see if you got game. Try and pick me up.

You’re cool. You can help me pick up chicks.

That’s it. We’re broken up/divorced. I want half of my shit. Thank god for pre-nups.

If that were true you wouldn’t love me.

You’re dead to me.

I still love you. Like a little sister. You’re adorable but annoying.

You’re such a bad girl. You’re going to get us arrested. Lucky for you, I look cute in stripes.

Now you’re just making stuff up as you go along.

Hey is everyone having a good time tonight? Is everyone having fun?

Good, just making sure.

Alright Okay. Check you out.

I’d like a gin and tonic.

I didn’t mean to do this in front of your friends but we’re through.

Let’s find you a man.

You can’t just talk to random people, that’s weird.

Welcome to (Bar Name). Glad you made it.

I smelt you from the other side of the club and I came over here to get a sniff.

You aren’t trying hard enough to take me home.

I caught you! You were staring at my package.

Won’t you stop staring at my tits.

I’m so attracted to you in a totally non-sexual way.

Baby, you drunk dial me anytime.

Stop treating me like a sex object.

I’ve already divorced you, but we didn’t get married yet so let’s get married to get divorced.

Here’s another chance for you to compliment my ass.

If she drops/spills/etc. something:

See... This is why we can’t have nice things.

It’s ok, you don’t have to be nervous.

Relax. You’re going to hurt yourself.

It’s a good thing you’re pretty.

If she says something ridiculous:

What is this, open mic night?

Clearly, your boyfriend isn’t spanking you enough. If she calls you a name or teases you: “My mom’s told me worse.” (This could come off as self-deprecating, but I do it in more of a “There’s no way you can offend me, no matter how hard you try” attitude)

Are you at least rich?

You’re fucking up my Fung Shui (whenever she touches or moves your property)

- Did you come over here just to flirt with me?

- Stop undressing me with your eyes

- Don’t get you hopes up. I’m not easy

- Stop trying to impress me

- Are you always like this, or just with guys you’re attracted to?

- You better be getting back to your friends before they realize you’re over here flirting with me.

But before you go... (awesome time constraint)

“You know, you’re a cool/good/nice girl, despite what everyone else says about you.”

CLEARLY, your BF isn’t spanking you enough...

You think you can take me? I doubt it.” “I will tickle you until you pee your pants.”

good reply for a shit test: “looks like someone put their crankypants on this morning”

To a brazenly materialistic HB: “Man made the money, money never made the man.”

If she acts bitchy: “OMG, saucer of milk, table two”

Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheese burger This is a great spot for me, I’m really well-lit.

You’re getting me all emotional. I promised my friends I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight.

Something smells great in here. Oh, its me.

You guys are trouble.

You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you.

What kind of girls do you like?

You’re cool. you can help me pick up chicks.

Why are women always so logical? Why cant they just FEEL and be in the moment? (reframe)

Are you drunk or are you usually like this?

Is she always like this?

Wed never get along. Id never take your sh!t and you’d never take mine.

You know, wed fight all the time. And Id win.

You guys are like the spice girls. you’re like ___ spice, and you’re ___ spice.

Have you got any game? Pick me up.

This place is such a meat market. I hate how the girls look at me here; like I’m just a piece of flesh.

You’re like my little sister. Loveable, but a bit annoying.

I used to be too modest, but I worked at it and now I’m perfect.

It’s like Oprah/The View in here.

You’re my new girlfriend. Oh, wait, can you cook?

You’re bad. You’re making me think impure thoughts.

You’re such a brat!

You’re a shy girl aren’t you? You guys gotta get her out more.

I’m going to take you home in my little pocket and ask my roomies

if I can keep you. Wait, are you housebroken?

You usually hang out at the library don’t you?

“Dork. I’m going to get you one of those little hats with a propeller on it.”

She drops/spills/etc. something,

“See... This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“we’re broken up”

“you’re fired”

If she drops something: “it’s ok, you don’t have to be nervous”,

Offering them a sippy cup if they spill their drink is fun, or asking the bartender for one for her.

“Easy tiger.”

“Don’t make me get the bible out.”

“...now you’re just talking while you’re trying to think of something to say...”

If I wasn’t gay, we would have such beautiful children. Seriously, imagine how cute our kids would be.

(repeatedly ask her name, then nickname her something like muffin)

Call every girl Doris

If she does something stupid “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

Works best on HB6 & HB7 who aren’t THAT pretty

When I beat them at thumb-wars... “OMG you SUCK at this, but you can cook right?”

- Which one of you guys would win in a fight?

- You’re taking this way too seriously

- Stop flirting with me

- If that were true, you wouldn’t love me

- You must’ve driven your parents crazy

- Give me a kiss on the cheek, and maybe I’ll let you forgive me

- I’m too high maintenance for you

- What else do you like about me?

- I’m so out of your league

- Let’s play a game. Let’s see how long you can hold your breath

- You’re back to square one with me, missy

- You’re so outside the circle of trust

- You’re such a player

- You guys remind me of the Power Puff Girls/or/ You guys are like watching The View

- Do your parents know where you are?

- Isn’t this a school night?

- You girls aren’t tourists, are you?

- Ooooookay, you really don’t know what you’re doing, do you?

- Your ex-boyfriend sounds just like me

- I’m so emotionally unavailable right now

- I think you might make a nice friend

- We need to find you a man

- We would never get along

When I want to end a phone call or eject from familiar/bustable company “I gotta go, I left a knife in the fork drawer.”

“God damn girl! You’d screw up a wet dream!”

“Relax. You’re going to hurt yourself”.

Calls me a pussy --> “Seriously if you don’t stop hitting on me, I’m getting a restraining order”

http://cdn.pickuppodcast.com/Stock_Banter_Cheatsheet_%28bonus%29.pdf

Speed Dating

2010-10-27T01:55:00.001-10:00

It was a great experience. Everyone, especially newbies should do this. Just think you have 5 minutes to give it your best shot & if you do you are rewarded. If you think you could have done better, you can "press" the restart button.

Hmmm . . . Sounds like a video game or more specifically a simulation. You get a dozen chances to practice your spiel, or better yet it is fun to experiment with different routines. Be the Casanova, be the clown, be hipster, be the AFC! LOL. Kill them with eye game, practice BL, Kino, practice your best DJ voice, undress them with you eyes! Hehe

To be honest 5 minutes is a really short time to connect on any kind of meaningful level. And yet, that is the challenge. How tight is your Game? All of us can hold a conversion for 5 minutes. Well, truth be known, there was one that I made a mental query, "Wow 300 seconds is really long." :o (no problem -- just reboot!)

2 minutes Attraction
2 minutes Qualification
1 minute Comfort

{Yeah, I know, I know ..... The Trimedus School of Seduction ...... 4.5 minutes Seduction / 30 seconds of setting up the logistics}

It is easy to strategize, however, once I am in set, 95% of the time I'm in Autopilot. Every once in a while, I have a flash that this "routine" would be a perfect time to insert it. (no not Freudian) My mind goes blank & I'm pretty much flying by the seat of my pants. Everything becomes instinctual & . . .

Not sure what allowed for the attraction, but as soon as I entered I sought WJ greeted him with full frontal BL & shook his hand firmly. (Looked for Tat but he was already in set. LOL) Also, I made sure I greeted the host as soon as she was free. Talked to some of the guys around me, & even directed them around. Why do all this? You never know who is watching.

The logistics wasn't the best because the girls were situated two per table. Also, being at Pearl a clear & resonant voice was required to project above the background din. This also allowed the women to lean in, or allowed us to vocalize close to their ear.

The first three were average so I took them to be warm up sets. {At this point, I wasn't sure whether I should go for all of them or just the one(s) I was interested in.} HB-M was reputedly the hottest of the group, maybe an "8". What was weird she brought her GF, who wasn't part of the choices. ??? Don't know what was up with that?

Remember there is only 5 minute. I decided to treat them as a two-set. Because I didn't know if GF was an obstacle or even a cock-blocker. It did hurt that, if not for this artificial situation, I probably would have gamed GF. ;-) Needless to say I flirted with GF first, making her laugh. I then turned my attention to HB-M, asking if this was a two-for-one deal. Then, I switched gears to dig into HB-M if GF would have to escort on our date. The local colloquialism is "to hold Cho Ching".

I then launched into the "best friends test" routine. Not sure if this clinched it but we then got into what is a best friend & can a male be your best friend. At the end of that particular round, I knew both of them were attracted. BUT would it be enough for her to put me on her of "yes" . . . that was the question . . . for she was a bit young.

The next female was one I did put on my "yes" column. She was a bit older, ironically, I think she thought she was older than me! LOL LOL She was a personal trainer, thus she had an awesome body & could easily body slam me (onto the bed, of course) :-0 Being more my age, I thought she was a shoe-in / slam dunk. She did mention over hearing my banter with HB-M & GF. (Note: She didn’t pick me. Lesson learned is, don’t count the chicks before they hatch)

The rest of the sets were a bit anti-climatic, but it was easy to game once the momentum is going. The logistics of the seating arrangement prevented me from using the same opener or routine. This was one of the best experiences to really push my gaming experience.

The time limit, having to be in the moment, picking any thread that the was thrown out, immediately cutting any bad threads, etc. forced me to be in the moment & not in my head! The best part is no blow-outs. Everyone is at least pleasant. When I didn’t get the connection immediately, it forced me to change gears, not quite like “plowing” but similar.

Can’t wait for the next session.

Cheers,
Menace

Go with Your STRENGTHS

2010-03-31T23:00:00.010-10:00

Whatever you think might be a liability, can actually be of value to you. I would be considered not tall (short - LOL). And in our animal kingdom, tall is usually a desired physical attribute.

However, I capitalize on being able to slide on in (side-by-side of course) & kino almost immediately -- under the radar so to speak.

Even when I give full-positive Body Language, I can stand closer in front of her without being intimidating. I can penetrate her "bubble" easily & seamlessly. Of course, a good posture, is the utmost of importance & not to peak in-&-out.

We all know the primary, most important attribute is confidence & a corollary would be competence. My BL has become 'tighter' but most important is to SMILE.

AoC Bootcamp

2010-03-29T21:27:00.006-10:00

Hey Guys - It's been a week since I've returned from a 5-day / Live-In Boot Camp from Art of Charm in LA. It was great as usual. The Aha-s were not a ground-breaking but more tweaking of my Body Language, my Eye Contact & all the other sub-conscious communication.

My sticking points are: "Committing" & "Pulling the Trigger".

I'll be posting what I will call Insights that I have had, that may help others. Some were conceived at the boot camp; while others are ones that I've been recently thinking about.

Best,
Menace

First Club Game in the Longest Time - Mar 26 '10 FR

2010-03-26T21:35:00.001-10:00

Now I'm really feeling like I've screwed this whole thing up. I am violating ENs like a mofo with my woman, and due to the way I've set things up and gotten used to incorrectly leading the relationship, I'm violating ENs in set too. I had this girl that was ready to fuck, and I could make a move. She asked if I wanted to go to the washroom, and that sounded like quite the hint if I've ever heard one. I realized that I went into a meat marker with no actual intention on getting some meat.

First Club Game in the Longest Time - Mar 26 '10

Went out with some buddies, and the venue wasn't quite seeming like the best. I figured that this was my limiting beliefs trying to screw protect me from potentially getting hurt. That plus the fact that I hadn't gone out to a club in the longest time, so really any club would feel well out of my comfort zone. I embraced those facts, and started trying to open.

I could feel like I wasn't in the grove. I gave a few two-sets 10 and any girl I asked to dance wouldn't dance.

The Korean Lone-wolf

I then noticed the lone-wolf. Of course, I know what the lone-wolf is looking for most of the time, so I dove right in. From that point on, to use a borrowed term, it was on like Donkey Kong. We danced, I bounced her all over the venue, and in the middle of one of my bounces, we came across her friends. They started speaking their language and I of course shook hands with both of them (guy and girl with the guy having his arm around the girl). The guy told me that the lone-wolf was his girlfriend. I asked him if both the girls were his girlfriends. He didn't answer me. Next I lead the group to the coat-check area. There, the lone-wolf took her cell phone out of her purse and put her coat back in at the coat check.

Then I started talking to her in front of a pillar which was right in front of the washroom. She asked me if I wanted to go to the washroom pointing at the girl's washroom. I asked her if she needed to go and she said she didn't. Yes, her English was a bit weak, however I still think that she meant that she wanted us to both go to the washroom.

Now once this happened, I started having the thoughts in my head as to how I would go about calling my primary and getting the go-ahead to sleep with the girl. I remembered how she mentioned the other day how ridiculous it would seem if I had a one-night-stand on the phone with her trying to get permission to sleep with me. I thought that this would be a bit of a challenge, but it's turned into a crazy limiting belief.

Beginning of Slight Tangent

What's even worse is how I've been acting as if we're monogamous all this time, and now when all of a sudden my actions begin matching what I've been saying all along, I think that things would change furthermore. If I had been addressing ENs all along, I think we'd be golden, but I've been screwing up way too much and I'm feeling like I'm at the verge of losing my girl. I keep seeing those violated ENs flying by, and she's starting to violate mine in exchange :-( I need to take care of this mess as it's beginning to become something really out of control. The improvements I feel come and go, and it's difficult to get a grip. I wasn't ready for such an amazing woman when I met her and I'm still not. No matter what happens with her, I am going to cherish this most amazing relationship I've ever had thus far. At the end of it all if nothing else, it's definitely been an insanely insightful learning experience.

End of Slight Tangent

So back to Korean Lone-wolf. After hanging out for a while at the coat check area, I took her back up-stairs to dance more closely on the dance floor. She ended up getting tired of this stupid charade I had going on and told me to go find my friends and that she'd go find hers.

So with that, it's ENA time:

EN1 (reputation)
-addressed
--I was the attractive guy that was talking to her and leading her around. Since I was the one making all the moves, the spotlight was mostly on me
-lightly violated
--when we went to dance in the coat check area, she felt the social pressure coming. I tried addressing this by telling her that she could hide behind me, but I could tell that it was still a concern of hers

EN2 (range of emotions)
-addressed
--from initially being bored, she went to dancing with excitement, curious as to where I was taking her, and surprised by the car I drove when I showed her a picture of it after telling her that my car wasn't the one on my phone's wallpaper but much nicer ;-)

EN3 (cater to the little girl)
-violated
--I wasn't leading well at all, and this lead her to having to end up being the adult in the interaction and tell me to go find my friends and that she'd go find hers when she realized that I wasn't going to escalate much with her and that it wasn't quite going anywhere. She wanted someone to fuck her, and I made it clear based on my actions that that wasn't me, so she had to step up and tell me where to go (although she did it rather politely)

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--I definitely started out extremely well with this. From picking up her insanely bored-looking mood to bouncing her all over the venue, I did well.
-violated
--the part where I mentally realized that I couldn't escalate due to my situation was where I felt like she got confused as to what I was doing, and I don't at all blame her. I know my shit far too well, and I'm 99% sure I know exactly how she felt. I think that the right thing to have done at this point would have been to try and explain my situation (wow, I just realized that part right now :-( ).

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-addressed
--I was telling her things that made her seem unique to me such as how her hair matched her dress and what-not. Not the strongest way to address this one, but I think I did moderately well.

EN6 (trust in my honesty)
-violated
--she didn't know what to expect from my and I didn't explain my situation to clear it all up as to why I wasn't escalating accordingly. I seemed/felt like a confused chode in that respect.

EN7 (safety)
-addressed
--I offered to hug her when I initially met her to make her feel better, making her feel like I'm trying to save her from her negative emotional state she was in.

EN8 (handle her sexuality)
-neutral

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-addressed
--enough other ENs were addressed (plus passive value, being a tall dude and what-not which was rather obvious that it turned her on)

EN10 (not gay)
-potentially violated
--the fact that I didn't escalate accordingly (especially when we got closer at the coat check) could very easily be perceived as a sign of me being gay, oops.

Well, I knew I was doing really well at the beginning and I really didn't like how I was hesitating so much. I noticed a lot of hesitation in my approaches over-all, and I figured that that was due to not having gone to a club in so long, and to a very large extent it was. However for that specific interaction, I think I should've probably done some heavy make-out and perhaps oral sex, which wouldn't have violated any rules I've set in my relationship with my primary. I'm not quite sure why that didn't even come to mind until now. I'm glad I'm writing this out as it's definitely helping me analyze the situation that much better. However I need to put together a solid game-plan if I'm going out clubbing again. For that matter, I also need to fix things up with my primary as well, as I can't be going on like this.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective PUAs

2010-02-23T15:27:00.003-10:00

Some Basics presented in a different perspective:

1) Measure skills, not results.
2) Fashion and grooming matter - a lot.
3) Being attractive to women isn't something you switch on & off.
4) Change her mood, not her mind.
5) It's not the first thing you say - it's the second.
6) Don't wait.
7) Make it fun!

If it's not fun, you're doing something wrong.

From Savoy of Love Systems, Inc.

AK's Field Reports for Feb 12, 13, 16 '10

2010-02-16T20:12:00.001-10:00

I've been having pretty crazy amounts of procrastination in respect to filling out journal entries lately for some odd reason. My relationship with my primary however has been going better and I've gone out thrice within the last week, so I'm definitely going to post at least a bit about each experience.

Night Game For 4 - Feb 12 '10

I went out with mathmann, Diamera and Nitro. We ended up making quite the crazy quartet. mathmann was making probably the most genuine approaches I've ever seen, Diamera was insanely good with his insight and Nitro as always was making his extra ballsy approaches.

As for me, I can only recall making one approach along with mathmann. I also noticed that Nitro opened a girl whom I'm pretty sure I previously gamed who ended up giving me her number without me asking (the interaction with her never ended up going anywhere).

There was a 3-set that we should've approached, however I hesitated way too much after saying we should've approached, so that ended up going nowhere.

The entire interaction however had such an insanely good vibe, that I was feeling insanely alive the next day. My explanation: it was a reminder as to the fact that I'm developing myself for the best. The next day, I communicated better (way more dominantly) with my girl in result, and she could easily tell that something was making me act way more in line than usual. She tried testing me for reputation, however I didn't give in and of course ended up winning :-D

Solo Night Street Game - Feb 13 '10

After failing to find someone to go out with, I decided to go out by myself. My primary was going to a party that didn't interest me much, however she wanted to go to the gym with me before it. We met up, went to the gym, hung out a bit, and I dropped her off downtown and then I parked to go out and do some night game.

It was snowing, and to my surprise, the streets really weren't as busy as usual, especially for a Saturday night. I still ended up making 2 approaches before I got tired and went home.

The first one was pitiful as the girl was carrying something obviously heavy, so stopping her on the street and expecting her to converse with me wasn't likely. I tried anyhow though, and she responded apologetically that she was late for work while walking away after I had delivered my opener.

Street-car Stop Girl

The second one I managed to do was waiting for the streetcar. I've got to say that it didn't really seem like she was that into my from the start. Of course, that could've be changed around, however I have the feeling that all of that built-up approach anxiety really didn't help. So I ended up trying to making conversation, and while I couldn't find any interests, I also ended up going a bit too far with my "sarcasm" in respect to the streetcars driving too slow for fear that they'll slip and fall on the lack of snow (while the snow was coming down, there was no accumulation). It was a bit of an experience I was sharing from my drive to where I parked, however I didn't put it in the best light possible, and I suspect that this was definitely the worst EN violated (reputation and likely sexuality).

I'll do my ENA of that interation:

EN1 (reputation)
-violated
--if I'm putting the streetcars in such bad light, how would I potentially present her if I had the chance to talk about her?

EN2 (range of emotions)
-neutral
--while I used my usual "how's your night going" technique, she was acting extremely flat-lined so I don't think I did enough to consider this one addressed

EN3 (cater to the little girl in her)
-neutral

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--I definitely lead the conversation

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-neutral

EN6 (trust in my honesty)
-addressed
--while my overboard sarcasm likely violated another EN or two, this one was most likely addressed due to the fact that it might've pissed her off as to how judgmental I was

EN7 (safety)
-addressed
--I opened her direct, so she knew what my intentions were from the get-go

EN8 (handling her sexuality)
-violated
--I was referring to the streetcar in such a judgmental way, so who's to say I wouldn't do the same for her sexuality

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-neutral

EN10 (proving I'm not gay)
-lightly addressed
--this one I think was touched upon with the direct opener in which I called her cute

Day Game: Eaton Centre, Shoppers, Street - Feb 16 '10

Today was definitely an interesting day. TheShowman and I went out for some day game. I had all kinds of sets including one where the girl said that I made her day as I was walking away (in retrospect, I should've probably come back to talk to her when she did that).

Started out at the Eaton Centre where I met TheShowman. We were taking turns doing approaches. My first one I did I definitely did something I very often do on my first approach when I'm as rusty as I am: I spoke WAY too fast. She seemed disinterested from the get-go and that was how she appeared when leaving as well.

I can't recall whether the next one was the one that started walking away as I did my opener. However that one I'll have to do an ENA on even though it would be difficult for me to get much out of it considering she wasn't even willing to let me finish what I was saying :-o I guess I'll see what I'll come up with either way :-D

Now the next one took me a while to make, however when I finally did, I could totally see it clicking from the get-go. She was all smiling when I opened her, and to top it up, she was going to a singing lesson. Since it's been forever since I've taken contact info, I tried getting her number in an unwise way, so I never got it. What happened was I asked her to call my phone, and my phone never rang (my parents called me later on and my phone didn't ring that time either, so I'm pretty sure the prob was with my phone). The interesting part was that when I asked her for her number, she told me that she had a boyfriend, however we could hang out as friends. I followed that up with an attempt to ask her if she's met any of her soulmates yet, however I screwed that up. She didn't know the answer to that either way, and as she started walking away, I told her that she needed to call me so I could have her number. She said she was calling me while walking away, so I never ended up getting it. She did right before that confirm the spelling of her name, however considering I have no number to associate it with, I guess that wasn't of much use.

After this, we switched to street game where I opened a two-set that we caught up to while running (we slowed down before passing them). I likely walked ahead of them a bit too long, however when I opened one of them, she seemed really happy, however her fatty friend suddenly started saying "just keep walking." I'm pretty sure that the fatty was jealous, however there's always the possibility of the fact that I waiting too long to actually open. Oh well :-)

Next I opened a girl at Shopper Drug Mart. That place was like my bro said "a gold mine." I was going to open a girl when I noticed she was getting diapers. I figured she must be a mom so I passed her and started pretending I was looking at some items on the shelf past her. I mentally kicked myself saying "what a limiting belief! These diapers could be for anyone," so I opened her going from indirect to direct. I did the direct really poorly though by saying "I just wanted to tell you that you're really cute" as opposed to "I just had to TALK TO YOU because you're so frigging cute." She said "Oh, thanks," and walked away.

I met up with my bro and as we were about to take the stairs, she likely overheard me saying "I didn't find what I'm looking here, lets go" (I was referring to something that I was actually looking for at the Shoppers which turned out to be on the 1st floor), she said to me "Thanks by the way, you made my day" and winked at me. I should've likely gone back to her to see if I could've taken the interaction any further, however I responded with something along the lines of "you're welcome" or "pleasure's all mine" and a wink in return.

That was as far as I got. Now I'm going to try seeing if I can even manage to do an ENA on the girl that walked away without even letting me finish my opened (although at the very least I should've tried confronting her if nothing else). I'm curious as to whether perhaps someone else opened her already at the mall that day and she thought I was part of that "boot camp" or something to that affect :-/

ENA of Run-Away Girl

EN1 (reputation)
-possibly addressed
--she was getting opened near the entrance of the mall by a pretty good lookin' dude

EN2 (range of emotions)
-addressed
--she didn't know what she was expecting, so when I started my opener, she felt curiosity, surprise, etc.

EN3 (cater to the little girl in her)
-neutral

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--I was attempting to open her and therefore leading the interaction

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-possibly violated
--if she had any reason to believe I was anything to the sort of a part of a boot camp, she could've thought that I wasn't genuine and therefore was trying to open every girl I saw

EN6 (trust in my honesty)
-possibly violated
--same reason as the one above

EN7 (safety)
-addressed
--since I was opening direct, my intentions were clear (although she didn't let me finish opening, so she didn't even give me a chance to address this one :-o)

EN8 (handle her sexuality)
-neutral

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-possibly violated
--again assuming she was under the impression I was just opening her for the sake of opening, she could've though I didn't have the balls to open her and was just trying to prove a point to myself

EN10 (prove I'm not gay)
-possibly violated
--I think I described this one very well under the EN9 one: she was under the impression I was trying to prove something to myself, basically

Well, I didn't think I could do it, but I managed to come up with that ENA after all. Very interesting, although some of the points were purely based on assumption of what "might" have been the case. Then again, considering that's all I have to work with, that wasn't so bad :-D

Figuring This Out - Having Troubles Getting Myself Out of This Mess

2010-01-24T18:58:00.000-10:00

Figuring This Out - Having Troubles Getting Myself Out of This Mess

I honestly currently feel absolutely terrible. I'm having some major issues with my primary, and I really don't know if I can salvage this relationship. I do for sure see advantages if I do save it, however I at the same time do still feel that she is the most amazing woman I've ever met, bar none.

I've lead this relationship terribly, and I know that one of the issues I've been avoiding is the cause of it: my terrible dominance (lack of) skills. I really didn't expect to meet the girl of my dreams before completing my development, and here I am now fucking it up :-(

Long story short, I kept going back and forth between removing and re-adding "harem girl" category to my criteria ladder, and when I last re-added it, I stopped paying her attention without first discussing it with her. I finally decided to get rid of it for good while with her, but it really hasn't gotten better since. She tried breaking it off while claiming she's standing in the way of my development (which in fact she is)-- WHOA, WAIT A SEC HERE! I just noticed that this violates the "off-limits" category of my criteria ladder. Now that's definitely somewhere I need to start working. The last point in that step of my criteria ladder states "is stumping my development in any way (making me do anything that would prevent me from growing such as forcing me to violate ENs)," so in other words if the quoted statement matches, she's at that step and no higher.

Just to expand here, since what's in the brackets doesn't quite cover it, she is stumping my development as my development involves being with other women. No, I am definitely unable to communicate to her why I need to continue seeing other women without violating any emotional needs, however I can definitely say that she is preventing me from seeing other girls while attempting to force this monogamous frame on me. Fuck, I just noticed that I'm back at square one, as this was exactly where I left off with her last night. So much for that idea.

I thought that that definitely gave me something else to figure out here, but unfortunately I was very wrong when I started expanding on the situation :-(

AK's Latest Main Goal - Modified

2010-01-22T08:15:00.001-10:00

Latest Main Goal - Modified

OK, so shit went down the drain when my primary realized that I had made a decision to go back to having a harem without consulting her as it affects the relationship, so I've noticed that my dominance problems almost broke us up. I'm going back to the exercise I was doing lastly before I stopped posting for a while which would involve identifying any dominance issues that I did wrong on a date (especially with my primary), and what I'd do better next time. Since I am starting to run low on time, I am going to try doing this for the last two dates when I get the chance to post on here. I am also going to focus primarily on dominance while going out as I've done in the past and do my ENAs on that.

Interestingly enough a bro and and I went to improv last night, and the room was rather full, so each of us got a number while getting put into groups. There were two sets of groups assigned through-out the night, firstly there were 8 and then there were 4. Interestingly enough I was in group 4 both times. I didn't notice it until my bro pointed it out, but since dominance is EN4, that was a rather odd coincidence :-o A sign perhaps?

Anyhow, just to add to the first paragraph, I just recalled how when I started doing the dominance identifying exercise I'm going back to, I was writing everything I could think of on my BlackBerry as points in notes so that I wouldn't forget any situation as more time passed. I am going to also do this from now on as I had completely forgotten about it and it definitely helped me to remember points I would've very likely forgotten.

AK's Latest Main Goal

2010-01-19T20:49:00.000-10:00

Latest Main Goal

So I went out last night with a bro of mine and I did one not so good approach. Since then, I have decided to make at least one approach per day. I am going to keep the exceptions to a minimum and see how far I can take it.

Tonight I made another measly one. I used my usual routine but it came out so un-natural, it's not even funny. It really felt scripted.

Tomorrow I am going to take a "long brisk walk" as a doctor recommended I do on a daily basis. Going to see if I can make several approaches. After all, it was pretty dead out both tonight and last night, so that really didn't help.

The only prob I see at this point is the lack of inspiration. I know that I'm getting laid on a regular basis, and I really don't have all that much reason to push myself too hard. Nevertheless, I am going to go for it and see how far I can push this. It's been a while, but I'm definitely getting back in the game. No more excuses :-D

AK's Getting Back in Action

2010-01-05T14:49:00.000-10:00

Getting Back in Action

So I haven't posted here in the longest time, so I thought I'd write this up.

I've been feeling less and less motivated lately, and it's really starting to get to me. I ended up getting Employment Insurance since having left my job, and I just received my first payment a few days ago. I'm in no hurry to get a job, yet I still need to be working towards it at the very least slowly. Tidying up my place is another thing I've been planning on doing, however I can't seem to get to it.

In respect to women, I'm seeing my primary on a regular basis. The dream of harem building is slowly dying. If I didn't have a primary, I'd have no problem continuing to work towards that dream. However I really don't see a point in looking to get into emotional relationships with other women. My dreams have always been to be able to seduce a woman to bed within the first few dates, and my most treasured experiences have involved this. I just need to figure out how to make it consistent (and with standards lowered enough plus putting enough work into it, it really shouldn't be that much of an issue).

I think I should start pushing towards going out by myself at least once a week if not more often, however my mind has been clogged with thoughts in respect to first straightening out my primary's concerns. She doesn't want a man with multiple relationships, however she has no problem with having a man who sleeps with other women. I've told her since I made her my primary that by having her at that part of my life, I'd like to be emotionally exclusive with her yet sexually non-exclusive. That falls perfectly in line with her concerns, so I'm thinking that I should continue with this. In fact, not going along with it really makes my dominance rather weak.

Once I finally straighten this out, I think that I should start with a goal of going out everyday again for a bit. I really feel the need to get used to talking to random girls, I love doing it sooo much. And then I can also add a sub-goal of figuring out making instadates work for me. I theoretically know how to do it, and all I need to do is put it in practice :-) This should be barrels of fun :-D

Building a social circle is always on my "to do" list, however my lack of inspiration hasn't been helping me with this at all. I am going to have to set some solid goals and find ways to commit to them without any exceptions. The "no computer until haven't completed X" that I initially did should really help, so I'll likely use that. Especially considering that I'm mostly wasting time on my computer these days. I am going to write up a separate post with the solid goals and steps I am to take to go through them after putting this together, as I'm using this post to simply spill out my thoughts.

Also for the date with the other girl I've been keeping in communication with, I am to take her to a few of the locations that I am to derive from Frank's 101 Places to Go. I already have a few ideas, however I need to listen to it a bit more, as his system is simply out of this world for rating places to go and he has practically endless ideas. I'll have to commit some time to that, and I just might do that tonight since I'll likely not be able to within the next few days.

The goals I've set in previous posts have turned into nothing, and I need to fix that (if not by re-applying them, by setting new ones, and I'm thinking the latter would likely work better for me at this point).

I am definitely still alive, and I need to kick myself in the ass a bit to make this work. I think I'll start by making a list on my Crackberry in respect to the exact things I need to get done and make a goal to finish at least 2 per day for instance. I think that this idea will be a great starting point.

End of Toronto Lair - March 31, 2009

2009-12-03T00:21:00.003-10:00

Hey Bro' AK -

I got an "automatic" notice that someone posted a comment / query on your "End of Toronto Lair"of Mar 31st. Unfortunately, it is anonymous because it is curious why someone would ask in reference who you were commenting on / about. It is possible that they just stumbled upon your article of 8 months ago. Yes, it could be out of pure curiosity or maybe I'm being to cynical, but it could be a potential detractor. If it were me I would prefer a direct communication with "anonymous". He / she can email me at: serpent808@gmail.com, which I have listed on the blog. In turn, I could allow direct communique with you.

To be honest, I must have skipped reading this particular post & it is interesting because I've been thinking about either having more direct involvement with our local lair, or starting another lair. In my mind, it doesn't have to be a competing sort of thing, however, the reality is that it may eventually end up as a separate entity.

I love the guys in the lair, but because the leader is currently trying to get his business in order, & just doesn't have the time to devote to the care & feeding of such a time-consuming entity. It is (again) serendipitous how this your blog entry is so appropo to my current situation.

One observation that might discourage me from committing to establish an organization is that one of the reasons the Toronto Lair went defunct is that "he no longer had time to work on his own development".

I have to be careful in that, that might also happen to me, especially since I am a type "a" personality. It is almost like my music store. I get all these toys in the shop, but the time to run the business end precludes me from playing with all the gizmos & gadgets. LOL

Also, David D's "Deep Inner Game" & his "Advanced Game" series really awaken a bunch of epiphanies in me. I'm currently into David Deida's stuff. Deida's teachings are actually quite simple but it is also counter-intuitive, so much so, that I end up listening to the audio CD repeatedly. There is overlap on both Davids' material. However, Deida's program is more about relationships.

Peace,
Menace

Style's Top Ten Epiphanies

2009-11-02T00:46:00.006-10:00

Hey Guys -- #5 resonates for me - Menace.

1. What you look like doesn't matter. But how you
present yourself does.

2. Nobody is judging you. They're too busy
worrying about what you think of them. So instead
of seeking her approval, give her yours. Then
take it away. Then give it to her again. This is
called flirting.

3. Women like nice guys. They just don't like
weak guys. So you can still be nice, but you must
also be confident and strong-minded. In order for
a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe
with you.

#3 is what I've been trying to impress upon the guys, as to why women are attracted to jerks. Neil says it better than what I've been conveying. To be Nice as well as Confident & Strong-minded is what is attractive. Weakness is not attractive.

4. It's not enough to just be yourself. You must
be your best self.

5. There's a thin, but important line between
being horny and being sexual. A horny man hits on
a woman before she is attracted to him. A sexual
man waits until he has attracted her.

6. Just because you're interacting doesn't mean
you're attracting. Learn to recognize the
difference between politeness and interest.

7. To win the heart of a woman, you have to be
willing to risk losing her.

8. When a girl you went on a date with in the
past, or who suddenly disappeared on you, calls you
out of the blue, it generally means one thing,
so call back right away before she finds someone
else to be with that night.

9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping
with her and make her feel good about having let
go with you. Even if you don't want to see her
again or she doesn't want to see you again. Don't
ruin her for other guys.

10. Finally, to quote the wisdom of Canadian
hockey player Wayne Gretzky, 'You miss 100
percent of the shots you never take.' So simply
by approaching and saying something, no matter
how badly you may bumble, you've dramatically
increased your odds of being with her.

#10 is one of the mantras I always quote from Neil.

FRs on 2 Dates in 2 Days - Oct 23-4 '09

2009-10-25T19:01:00.002-10:00

Hmm, 2 dates one following the other, very interesting. Surprisingly enough (to me), I keep it going with the girls I have been going out with and they haven't been ditching me despite the violation of ENs. Going on different dates with different girls sure is fun though, and soon enough to be fucking different girls should also be fun. Only prob is I'm not escalating enough with the two that aren't my primary :-/

Anyhow, I've decided to do a full ENA of each interaction with my primary from now on, since as per another post, I have gotten the idea that I've been violating ones I didn't even notice I was violating. I'll still do the "avoiding to violate" on one at a time until I no longer violate any for now though so that I'm not focusing on too much at once. Not to mention the fact that her concern for fear of abandonment is really starting to go through the roof.

ENA + Dominance Evaluation on Date with Primary for Oct 23-4 '09

I'm going to again go in reverse in respect to my primary, writing up the ENA first, so here goes:

ENA of Date w/ Primary Fri-Sat

EN1 (reputation)
-addressed
--I was telling stories about & experiences with people without mentioning names or any identifying info
--I even confronted her about violating others' ENs (she had responded that she was typically one to tell others not to talk poorly about others, however if she couldn't put other)

EN2 (range of emotions)
-lightly violated
--discussing the chick flick we watched was too slight of a range of emotion type of situation and the over-all interaction (without taking the having sex into account). Based on her reactions however, I violated it as she made a big deal identifying with one of the characters' problem as to how he wouldn't ever get in voice contact with her yet it all ended up being virtual from SMS, to e-mail, to home voice mail, to My Space, where-as based on her previous actions she's communicated via text whenever initiating the interaction with me
-addressed
--the next day (as the previous event happened during the night)

EN3 (cater to the little girl)
-addressed
--she began to cry based my having confronted her on her having violated people's reputation. I held her and comforted her when she said she was scared and what-not. I feel that this was related to fear of abandonment. Either way, I comforted head and led her into a positive state from that.

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--I initially lead the interaction rather well, making solid decisions and sticking to my points
-violated
--the next morning, I began second-guessing myself; initially wanting to walk her to the streetcar stop, then didn't have time to walk her to the streetcar stop as I was going to be late for an event, however offered to drive her, but she said it wasn't the best idea based on the fact that I was heading to a date with another girl and I hadn't yet told her about how I run things, so didn't want to make her think I was playing her before I had explained to her what my setup's like
--I had made plans for one specific thing, and we didn't end up doing that one thing
--was having issues making a decision as to what we'd have to eat (from going out, to ordering in, to having her prepare something)
--after the movie we watched, I kept changing my mind in respect to my evaluation of characters within it

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-addressed
--comforted her making sure she knew it would be OK after having communicated to her that she needs to work on violating people's reps
violated
--by telling her that I was going on another date, and not making sure I took care of her (safety) on her way home
--also never made sure she made it home OK which I've always done since I met her, although I've always made sure she lets me know once she makes it home OK (and she has missed to a lot of times, which would be when I'd make sure she made it home OK)

EN6 (trust in honesty)
-addressed
--confronted her about violating other people's reps after I had a dream as to how she had done so with mine

EN7 (safety)
-violated
--didn't make sure I knew she had make it home OK when she didn't let me know she had as she was supposed to

EN8 (handling her sexuality)
-neutral

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-addressed
--she knew I was going out on a date with another girl after meeting up with her

EN10 (proving I'm not gay)
-addressed
--again, I was going on a date with another girl

Very interesting, definitely got some work to do. I really liked how I took notes on the dominance points before I forgot before I got the chance to start writing this out, as I had definitely forgotten a good number of them by the time I was going through the ENA.

Anyhow, on I go to the future plan.

Future Plan for Turning Violations into Addressed Points for Dominance

"the next morning, I began second-guessing myself; initially wanting to walk her to the streetcar stop, then didn't have time to walk her to the streetcar stop as I was going to be late for an event, however offered to drive her (...)"
I need to do this evaluation in my head as Ken had suggested to me about a month ago. Need to definitely focus on that before I make a flimsy decision so that I don't go back & forth. And if she gives me feedback, I need to do the rest of the debate in my head and get back to her when I have a solid answer.

Next time: Do the debate in head, make sure I have a solid answer when I'm making a decision.

"I had made plans for one specific thing, and we didn't end up doing that one thing"
I can't fill the gaps of time with things that would end up making us insanely tired. We stayed up until nearly 6am and then got up pretty early out of habit. That definitely made up break the initial plans, and I can't let that happen again.

Next time: Make sure to make plans for going to bed by a certain time.

"was having issues making a decision as to what we'd have to eat (from going out, to ordering in, to having her prepare something)"
Again, I think that this would be best handled if I could do the debate in my head as to what's best in this situation. Especially considering the fact that I hadn't taken into consideration the fact that we hadn't done the one thing I had planned for that day.

Next time: Do debate in head with things I've already laid out (such as plans already made with her for that day).

"after the movie we watched, I kept changing my mind in respect to my evaluation of characters within it"
For this one, I think that I need to do my analysis, share it, and stick to it. If I want to further analyze it and debate it with myself, I should keep it to myself.

Next time: After having communicated my analysis, verbalize it if need-be, and leave it at that (at least verbally).

North Hockey Gal Date - Oct 24 '09

I initially tried setting that at my place where we were both going to make supper but she seemed uncomfortable with that idea. I then attempted setting it up at a park well before the hockey game so we could hang out near my place and I'd have the opportunity to get her to my place, however she wasn't into that either and she kept asking to go somewhere where she could watch the game. I explained to her how important it was for me to be making the decisions and that I appreciated her input at the same time. She has been expressing dominance since the first time we met.

We ended up going to a bar for her to watch the hockey game and to socialize all-in-all amongst one another. I knew there'd be karaoke that night, so I was hoping I'd at least get one song in. We ended up getting supper while the game was on on their big-screen projector as well as all of their more-so regular-sized TVs. I shared the fact that I had a criteria that I used to figure out where a woman belongs in my life and explained how I have a primary already in it and that no one takes her place and what-not (including mentioning the fact that it's an open relationship to make sure she knew what I was referring to). We followed that by a game of pool. She had told me that she had plans for later that evening where she was going to join some friends. As we played some pool, she said that her friends had gotten farther away than she was willing to meet them, so she ended up hanging out with me until the bar closed. I got quite a few songs in, and we even went up on stage once together.

I'm thinking next time I need to make a date somewhere more isolated to be able to see how far I can escalate with her.

OK, so ENA time yet again.

ENA of 2nd Date (Day 3?) with North Hockey Gal

EN1 (reputation)
-addressed
--I also told her stories without any way to be able to identify the people I was referring to

EN2 (range of emotions)
-addressed
--there was a lot of variety within the date based on all of the things we ended up doing (food, hockey, pool, karaoke including her joining me), so from that she'd get excitement, curiosity as to what would come next, and perhaps even some surprise from the convo especially when I mentioned the way I run things in respect to my relationships
--I played a song we were both really into when we left the bar and we completely went into it together

EN3 (cater to the little girl)
-potentially addressed
--she was complaining about the female bartender hitting on her and what-not, so I offered to hug her (which she wasn't into)

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--throughout most of the interaction, I make solid decisions, spoke with authority, etc.
-lightly violated
--when we were about to play pool, I was a tad indecisive
--also I needed to move my car at one point, and I slightly got indecisive as to how I'd do things (really need to work on doing that debate in my head as mentioned above)

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-lightly addressed
--based on the fact that I told her about my criteria, she knew that I had standards so she knew that I wasn't just seeing her because I wasn't seeing no one else. What would've made it fully addressed would've been if I had taken the opportunity to tell her what makes her unique to me

EN6 (trust in honesty)
-addressed
--telling her about my criteria ladder definitely risked ticking her off

EN7 (safety)
-addressed
--I made sure she'd let me know once she made it home to know she made it home OK
--also, I made sure she got to the bus stop OK, accompanying her there (need to start ensuring I leave enough time to do this with my primary as well)

EN8 (handling her sexuality)
-neutral
--I probably could've used the situation where she mentioned that the female bartender was hitting on her, expressing how I'm not gay, yet I have no prob with gays or something to that effect

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-addressed
--based on the fact that I told her that I am seeing at least one other girl and also having told her about my criteria ladder, she knows that other women are into me

EN10 (not gay)
-addressed
--when I was talking about my criteria ladder, I made sure to specify I was referring to girls that I was seeing

Not too bad based on the evaluation above. I wish I did this evaluation a bit sooner as I might've missed some details, but better late than

AK's Dominance Evaluation on Date with Primary for Oct 22 '09

2009-10-21T18:24:00.001-10:00

Dominance Evaluation on Date with Primary for Oct 22 '09

So I'm going to start this with the ENA of the situation based on dominance due to the limited amount of time I have to write up this evaluation. Here goes.

Dominance ENA

EN4 (dominance):
-addressed
--made decisions on the spot and had less jumping from decision to decision
-violated
--made plans to work on something specific while with her, never got to that
--ended up making her late, without encouraging her to leave when she had wanted to leave

OK, so that's currently all that I can think of. Now to see what I will do to turn the violated points for this EN into addressed ones.

Future Plan for Turning Violations into Addressed Points

"made plans to work on something specific while with her, never got to that"
Situation in detail: Made plans initially to go to the gym with her in the morning while meeting her at a coffee shop nearby to ensure we make it on time to the class we were going to at the gym. I had also let her know that she could study and I could work on a project of mine. Long story short, didn't have time to work on task at hand based on the way things turned out.

Next time: Plan less (make smaller expectations).

"ended up making her late, without encouraging her to leave when she had wanted to leave"
Situation in detail: We started by going to the gym, meeting before the class started at a nearby coffee shop. After finishing our class at the gym, we went to my place, showered (lost [i]a lot[/i] of time doing that), fucked, and I worked on a certain document I've been tweaking lately (to finally have the completed version done before the end of the interaction). We then ate, and she headed out while I was cleaning up from our mini lunch. She had prepared the food to assist me in getting more done (a tad mothering, but I'm trying to work on that too).

Next time: Make smaller plans. It really seems like I over-planned for the amount of time we had before she had to be at school and I had to be at work. Smaller plans = less expectations.

So with that in mind, looks like the based on the two situations I recall, the answer is practically the same: plan less/make smaller plans (practically the same thing). Going to be sure to do this from now on, and to be writing another one of these for Fri night to Sat morning/afternoon :-D

2009-10-20T00:24:00.003-10:00

Whoa - It's been such a long time since my last post. I totally understand about being overwhelmed, thus my dedication to posting to our blog has wavered.

On the other hand, I've been going out at least three times per week, but more like five times in a 7 day period. Yes, I have neglected other areas of my life that involves paper work. I still work 7 days a week, so sometimes by sarging is maybe three hours at a time.

A big incentive for me has been coaching some new guys.

I'm still struggling with being able to motivate a protege beyond a certain level. Most will only go out just a bit out of their comfort zone. My one remarkable success has been Gamer. Truth be known, he probably was on his way to greatness, but with a few minor tweaks from me, I truly believe I've been instrumental in his meteoric rise to being a good junior PUA. I'm going to miss him when he departs to protect our country with a stint in the Air Force.

With him gone, I have to step-up my game & not depend upon him to approach at will. LOL

Bro' AK has always amazed me with his forthrightness. His ability to break down his game is quite remarkable. BUT most importantly is his honesty with himself. IF I were coaching him, I would tell him not to be so hard on himself, BUT in the short, but "intense" (quality) time I've been with him, his need to always forge ahead has allowed him to reach an understanding of himself and others that has boosted his inner game.

His desire or more correctly, the fusing of his inner & outer game is what may be giving him pause. Again if I were coaching him, I might suggest to focus on "his plan" which would entail short & long-term ones. Being able to recognize his 'problems' or 'shortcomings' is amazing. As David D would say, most people have their head in the sand the majority of the time & only occasionally just popping up only every-so-often.

Yeah, I agree that having a primary can make one "lazy". It has happened to me; it has happened to Gamer & I'm sure most everyone . . . even those that have become really, really good. One thing I structure is I try not to have a Day2 involving my social circle. I keep them separate, at least in the beginning. When we go out it is to find women verses when I Day 2 it is to isolate the female. How I came to this is, for example, when we are at Salsa, IF I brought a date, I feel obligated to stay with her. However, when I'm unencumbered, it allows me to freely approach ANYONE in the club. Call me old-fashion. LOL

I'm rambling again, but I know AK will find a resolution to his current predicament(s) that will allow him to escalate to the next level. Yes, he is never satisfied -- which makes him a rare breed among men.

Peace,
Menace

AK's Latest Seduction Improvement Game Plan

2009-10-18T19:36:00.001-10:00

The Latest Game Plan In Respect The Seduction Part of my Life

I came up with an idea within the last 24hrs or so: considering I have been continuously violating ENs based on a few reasons, I have decided to slowly work on them one at a time. I am first going to explain the situation from my latest point of view, and then I am going to explain how I'm planning on taking care of it.

The Current Situation

I have been focusing less and less on paying attention to the emotions and emotional needs of my primary, and I've been trying to fix the situation over-all mostly based on logic. Obviously that's been a [i]huge[/i] mistake. In result, I've been violating emotional needs left right and centre. I have also been trying to focus so much on fixing the situation that I've violated my emotional need of quiet time rather seriously. Interestingly enough by doing so, I have also been giving her way too much time with me which ends up turning into rewarding bad behavior. Her bad behavior however was in result to me violating emotional needs, so in the end, I was not only creating a terrible situation within the relationship mostly with my words (partially with my actions as well), but also making it worse with my actions.

The Solution to This Insanity In Long

So first of all, I am definitely not going to see her as often as I have the last week. Yes she is my primary and I spend more time with her than any other girl. I would really like to go out at least once a week to recruit and at the same time use the opportunity to socialize. My date last week didn't go very well due to the fact that I haven't gone out in weeks. And even before the last time I went out, it had been even longer since the previous time I had gone out. Mind you, I did get a date within an interaction during the last I went out, so it really can't be as bad as I make it appear :-D

Anyhow, that is the smaller part of how I am going to attempt to work on my issues. The bigger part is fixing all the ENs I've been violating. So for that, I have decided to focus on one EN at a time and I've decided to start with dominance. So with that in mind, I am going to sit down after every interaction I have with my primary, and see how I've violated dominance (and perhaps how I've addressed it as well). Once I've done and ENA on just that EN, I am going to write out ways that I could address the EN in question the next time as opposed to the way I violated it. I am going to keep doing this excercise for each EN until I've ceased violating ENs.

Come to think of it, I used to have to go out to practice my EN skills. Now that I have my primary that I see several times a week, knowing that I'm not doing all that well, it's an excellent opportunity to put the correction at play. I used to do at least one ENA each time I went out (which BTW I am going to continue doing). Considering I've noticed I violate ENs each time I've encountered my primary for the last bit now, I think that going through the same type of exercise in a bit of a reduced capacity would help me in a few ways:
-it'll take less time to do as it's one EN at at a time until each one is no longer violated
-I'll be [i]actively[/i] working on fixing the ways I have been habitually violating it

The Solution to This Insanity In Summary

So the summarize the section above:

In respect to the frequency I've been seeing my primary:
-I am taking it down a notch and will focus on things a bit at a time

In respect to getting my social skills back to par:
-I'm going to plan to go out to recruit (for my harem) and/or on a date at least once a week

In respect to the violating of ENs, I will:
-focus on one EN at a time
--list all the way I violated & addressed it after each interaction with my primary
--write out ways to address the EN in the situations that I violated it for next time
--make sure I apply the new points of action next time I interract with her
--once I no longer have anything to write about the EN in question as to how I'm violating it, I am going to start the same process on the next EN

When This All Starts

Considering I'm really keen on getting enough sleep, I am going to go to bed after writing this post, and I am starting all of this work as of tomorrow. BTW, these are steps I am only taking in respect to the seduction part of my life. I have a number of other things I need to focus on within the next while, so I am going to start all of that as of tomorrow as well, however I am going to document my plans of action on those parts elsewhere.

Road Blocks, Violating ENs, and Where AK Stands

2009-10-17T10:15:00.001-10:00

Road Blocks, Violating ENs, and Where I Stand

I've been feeling more and more overloaded lately, on the verge of falling apart. I've felt this way when I was with other women, but this time it's different. This time I am much more aware of what is going on. I am having issues advancing to conscience competence while still struggling at the conscious incompetence stage for the most part, violating ENs on a regular basis.

Now more specifically, I noticed something that my primary did right when I met her. She would encourage me to address her ENs, yet not do too much about when I violated them. The encouraging has been amazing, however while in the short-term it seems easier, the fact that I get away with violating them so easily really ends up killing me in the end. Before her, I wasn't keeping women around for very long that I was meeting since my ex before her. And in respect to my ex before her, I really wish I had it within me to get her out of my life sooner. I am going to practice this, however not on my primary. Anyhow, the bottom line is that I am now all of a sudden getting the ugly end of the stick if you will, in respect to violating ENs.

I know the kind of work I need to do to get closer to where I am heading faster, however I am stuck dealing with road blocks in my life that need to be taken care of so that I can clearly focus on my development. It almost seems like I could be using this as an excuse, and I really wish that this was the case. However unfortunately I know the reality of the situation in that it's the real deal in respect to my other road blocks.

I need to start setting solid time lines for myself for the other things so that I can focus clearly on getting them out of the way with no more time being wasted. I am going to get through this, and I am going to take care of my life like I should.

North Hockey Gal Date FR - Oct 14 09

2009-10-14T17:12:00.000-10:00

Damn, has it ever been a while since I've been out on a date with a new gal. About 5 months from the looks of it. I could definitely feel the difference. Even with the prev "first date" went a ton better. On the other hand, it went pretty well considering how badly the beginning of today was going for me. I didn't catch very many ENs, so I'm going to definitely start doing a lot more ENAs, as I'm really starting to fall back on it.

Also, I need to go out every now and then, as I definitely haven't been doing that very much lately, and it's added to my staleness, if you will.

North Hockey Gal Date Field Report for Oct 14 '09

I met her on the corner of a park. We first went to get a bite to eat. I was thinking about my dominance, and how I didn't make sure that the place I had in mind was open, however we were heading there anyways. We went to Mr. Sub (indeed, nothing fancy but at least it did end up being open :-D). The conversation wasn't going all that smoothly. Lots of silences between conversations, and shyness overall on both of our behalves (oops, I violated dominance in 2 ways there both by not leading the convo and making her try to lead every now and then and also by saying she looked tense, although I made up for the 2nd one via massage :-D).

Anyhow, when we entered Mr. Sub, I told her how it reminded me of college as I used to go to Mr. Sub all the time as there was one on campus. She told me that she used to go to Subway when she was in school as it was on-location for her (cater to the little girl addressed). I ordered a large sub and could only eat half of it. I told her that I typically eat a full one, but I had eaten not too long ago, so I was going to save the 2nd half (possibly violated dominance, fear of abandonment likely addressed, not throwing away something that can be used later).

We then headed to the beach-like water front, as I like to call it. They had taken the lawn-chairs away from the sand, so we sat on a concrete part there. Violated dominance a bit as I wasn't expecting the chairs to be gone. I did however address safety by making sure the cement areas weren't too cold. I also made a number of statements as to how I like to make sure that those around me were always taken care of and safe and what-not. Anyhow, I also told her at that point that she looked tense and rubbed her shoulders. She started to get so relaxed after I got her hair out of the way (I ended up pulling it a bit as I wasn't all that careful, oops). To make up for the hair pulling though, I asked her to let me know if I was too hard when I was rubbing her neck, so I calibrated to that.

Next, we went passed by the music garden where we danced to a song I played on my Crackberry and sang it while it was playing. I made some mistakes while singing it, but she didn't seem to mind it much. Interestingly enough, that changed my mood and made me more animated (brought my more to life). She told me that it she had never heard that entire song, and told me a childhood story, so I accidentally hit cater to little girl with that one :-D

So while we were on to the last part of our adventure, I asked her how she felt about her childhood, not having realized I had just addressed that EN :-D I could hear some excitement in her voice. So I took her to the swings. She was surprised that there was so much to do along the street. It felt really felt good to get a nice compliment like that ;-) Anyhow, we swung on the swings and I told her a childhood story of mine where I cracked my head open with a swing in my country when I was little, so it wouldn't be a good idea to jump off of them (even though I don't think it'd be possible to crack your head based on how soft the local ones are, but meh, EN still addressed, I think :-D).

Then we hugged, and I said I would continue the adventure, however I had to get up early. She said she did as well. I told her I'd walk her to the streetcar stop, yet I felt like my dominance was neutral at best. Reason being is because I wasn't too sure about it, and I feel it was pretty obvious that I made the decision right on the spot. Then when I realized that we were waiting at a stop for the streetcar that was heading in the wrong direction, I realized that I had violated dominance by not having had figured out (asked) what direction she was heading in. I assumed the stop we went to was heading north, where-as it appears it was heading west :-o Anyhow, I corrected that, so it was OK. I looked for signs for a kiss, however I didn't see any. She didn't make very long eye contact, and there was no triangular gazing. I had kissed her in the past, but she was rather intoxicated when that happen, so building up the comfort had to be done all over again :-)

Before she got on the streetcar, I made sure that she knew to let me know when she got home so that I knew she'd make it home OK. She replied, "Oh, that's because you always take care of the people around you, right?" BAAAAAAAAAAM! :-D Anyhow, she had a bit of a concern about waking me, however I told her that I'd be concerned if I didn't know she was OK, so if I woke up in the middle of the night and I had realized I didn't know whether or not she had made it home OK. She replied that she'd let me know from what I understood, even though she also tried saying that the street-car was enclosed and what-not. BTW I replied to that that she had to walk from the streetcar as well and such.

I also told her that I'd call her again soon to make plans again (fear of abandonment). She said that she had fun.

So with that, on I go to my ENA.

ENA of North Hockey Gal

EN1 (reputation)
-neutral

EN2 (range of emotions)
-addressed
--from venue change to dancing, she got emotions from excitement to curiosity as to what would come next, to relaxation...

EN3 (cater to the little girl)
-addressed
--the Mr. Sub mention of how it reminded me of my college days
--the swings
--the song I played for our dance in the park
-violated
--I made her take the "adult" role when not leading the conversation initially (damn, I really need to get back into the swing of things)

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--led her to food and each of the other places we were going
-violated
--didn't plan well and made it show by commenting that I was expecting the chairs to be there in the sand under the umbrellas for instance
--didn't do much about leading the conversation at the beginning

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-lightly addressed
--told her I'd call her to make plans for hanging out again
--having saved the 2nd half of my sub (although it likely would've been more addressed had I specifically mentioned that I don't like throwing things away that I'd have use for in my life or something to that affect)

EN6 (honesty)
-neutral

EN7 (safety)
-addressed
--I made sure to walk on the outside of the curb and made sure to tell her why (and she agreed with me, telling a car had jumped the curb near her not too long ago :-D)

EN8 (handling her sexuality)
-neutral

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-violated
--told her how I feel like I need to start going out and socializing more as I haven't been going out and interacting too much with too many people lately as I used to do a lot

EN10 (proving I'm not a homosexual)
-very slightly possibly addressed
--made a lot of contact, however she didn't respect much to any ping tests although she did keep complying (I most likely should've gone for a kiss even though the signs weren't there, as at least that wouldn't addressed this one)

Summary:
So lets see the score here:
-4 definitely addressed
-2 possibly/likely addressed
-3 violated
-3 neutral

I guess all-in-all, I didn't violate too many, although I'd rather not violate 1 even. Again, based on my state of mind today, that was almost half decent. It's definitely a nice little sign however that I need to start going out more and dating more and what-not. I think I'll likely set a goal to at least start going out once per week. This rusty business can't go on much longer :-o

AK's North York Girl Date Field Report for Sept 11 '09

2009-09-12T07:40:00.001-10:00

Damn, I'm definitely growing, this is friggen amazing :-D

The more tired I get, the more careless I tend to get in respect to violating ENs. Unfortunately the more I think about it, the more ENs I noticed I violated :-( At the same time though, I broke a habit I'd been doing for a good while now :-o Thanks to Frank, from now on if I like the girl, I tell her the way I run my relationships on the first date.

Date with Richmond Hill gal - Sept 11 '09

I'm going to try keeping this short as I have a very busy sched today.

So we met about half way between where each of us lives when I was done work, and went for some bubble tea. I ended up driving the wrong way on a street by accident when I went to fuel my car up as I was out of gas on my way to the gas station with her in the passenger seat, but she didn't seem to be too affected by it. Yes, I violated dominance by not making sure I had enough gas while I was spending time with her, and I violated safety by not noticing I turned the wrong direction on a one-way part of the street :-o

From there, we went back to the parking lot we initially both parked our cars at and we started listening to music while I sang to most of it. She did a bit of singing as well. Got some emotional range going on there, and that was good. She kept pushing me to lead which was awesome. Ever since I told her that I like to lead my relationships, she has been encouraging me to lead, which makes her great at being compliance, while at the same time I just noticed it's a bit of a mothering behavior :-o Speaking of mothering behavior, I should've confronted her when she fixed my sweater which wasn't sitting right; I failed that dominance test :-(

Anyhow, we then went to a park where we did a bit of swinging and what-not. I had already kissed her in my car, and we did a bit of making out there. I actually stood in front of her at one point while she was still on the swing, and I lifted her up along with the swing to my level while I kissed her. She really digged that (within that action, I see dominance, cater to the little girl, and range of emotions).

I then led her to one of the benches that we both sat and and we started talking. I told her about my relationship model, including how my primary would need to communicate with her before we were to have sex (dominance addressed by setting the rules of the relationship forth). She tested my for fear of abandonment by asking me how much of my criteria (which btw addressed dominance as I know what I want, even though I did other things to violate it) she had passed, and I gave her a few points that she had done well on. We started discussing relationships for a while, and she started explaining among other things why dominance in a man is so important to her.

Also while discussing relationships, she mentioned how perfect her parents were for one another, and I told her that as long as they're happy it's great. I however violated reputation by telling her how my parents have problems with the way they very often do things to aggravate one another (by violating one another's emotional needs). This also violated high quality sperm considering I am of the same blood as them, so genetically I must not be too good at relationships (oops). Next time, I will be sure to refer to them more-so as "some people I know" instead.

We also talked about massages and I mentioned my massage table and when she got all into it, I told her we should use it on our next date. She said that we should use it but in a few dates. Either way, fear of abandonment there was addressed.

We ended up hanging out pretty late, and in the end I actually got her to make a wrong turn by accident (violated dominance & safety again) so she called me for directions but then she managed to find where she needed to go before I got the chance to be able to help.

Of course, I made sure she let me know when she got home so that I'd know she made it home OK, so that addressed safety.

Damn, this passive value is still working in my favor, as I violated so many ENs yet she was still all into me, even though she mentioned that I don't look the same as in my pics on my online profile (I responded that neither did she, and we had that in common, which BTW was definitely true :-D).

Since I'm in a hurry, I am going to leave the EN for a bit later. Hopefully I'll have time soon enough to go through it, however I did list the most important ENs involved within the FR already. I violated way too many, and I need to start working on fixing this, because there's no way that I can keep going like this. Even my amazing little primary woman will only allow me to do is for so long, I'm sure. And even if she didn't, I still want to eliminate violating ENs from my life.

AK's Little Boy, Latest Game Plan, and Then Some

2009-09-10T02:51:00.002-10:00

The Little Boy Within Sneaking Out

I just realized that I've been letting out a few females ENs, just when I thought I had gotten rid of them all. I've noticed I really like to complain at times, seeing that as range, as well as having elicited some fear of abandonment. I need to figure out ways to take care of these.

The Latest Game Plan

My development really hasn't been advancing much, and there are some pretty good reasons for that, including the fact that I am getting overly stressed at work. So with that in mind, my current goals stand in the following order:

1. Taking care of my work situation
2. Taking extra steps to ensure I start going to the gym again regularly (very likely related to the previous point, although I'm about to go to the gym after I'm done writing this out :-D)
3. Fixing my eating habits
4. Translating EOHMIAT
5. Working on my game/development

Wow, all the way in number 5. I've kind of been thinking about these points lately, however I hadn't taken the time to write them out until now so that they're solidified.

Also with that in mind, this doesn't mean I will stop going to the relationship classes, as that is still a very high priority for me even if my development falls in a later place than the rest of the items above it.

Guelph Girl's Place in the Hierarchy

Well, my girl's moving to the city today, and moving her up in ranking is getting very close. There is one point in my criteria that I am a little bit iffy on, and I really only added it because of an "phone class" I was on, and I'm really thinking that it's not a necessity for me, and that's that the girl goes to the gym regularly. Mind you Guelph Girl used to go to the gym regularly before the summer started and due to certain circumstances stopped, but then I've also been going less and less often, which I need to take care of.

So with that in mind, I am strongly thinking of taking that one out, as it really doesn't make that big of a diff in my mind and helping each other to remain fit also could very easily involve her mothering me, so that ends up being counter-productive. So decision's been made, that one's out.

Friday Night Date

Well since I've barely been going out lately, mostly focusing on a few other things, I have been doing a fair amount of online dating. I've been getting a lot of msgs, and I barely ever need to do the initial approaches, which makes my job a little bit easier. I'm feeling a tangent coming on, so I'll refrain from it until I mention my date situation for Fri (tomorrow) :-D

So one of the girls that msgd me was one with whom I had previously messaged back & forth. Her subject was "I missed you." So I ended up getting her number and called her on Monday. Now I supposedly called to set up a date with her, yet instead of focusing on that, we started chatting, and she basically started mentioning what we should do for a date and took a fair amount of the dominance upon herself (not good for my dominance at all :-o). I'm really starting to realize that the more I slack on my development, the more ENs I start to violate :-o Even in my relationship with Guelph Girl, although she tends to be rather easily forgiving which is both good and bad (good that she sticks around and what-not, but bad because it's not helping me avoid the violations).

Anyhow, I should finally be going on another date tomorrow and I am to be confirming this today with the girl in question. So I guess I'll see how that goes.

More on Online Dating

As for that tangent I was heading for, I was going to mention that I am doing pretty well identifying the ENs and responding accordingly, however I haven't been doing my ENAs on the ones that haven't gotten me responses. I still get girls trying to default to stalkbook and MSN (of which I use neither), and for the ones that do, it's typically not that easy for me to convert them to phone contact info. And the phone numbers I've gotten a number of the times haven't gotten me anywhere :-o It's been forever since I've had a date off of online dating, so I hope that this breaks that streak.

Online dating used to be all I had before my development, and I was never really all that good at it, but I still ended up getting results here and there (yes, it's gotten me laid on numerous occasions even in my pre-community days).

One of the down-sides of using online dating so much is I've noticed that when communicating with people, my voice sounds rather weak (unless I go out to sarge, which I really don't like as I've been working on being naturally attractive from the get-go). Oh, and that reminds me of where I was initially going to go with the tangent: I've noticed how online I seem to be attracting women like crazy from the get-go just using my profile, yet IRL (in real life), I tend to still not be doing all that well. I really need to get this part of me handled, especially with Guelph Girl taking her new place in the hierarchy :-o

Coaching Perspective

2009-09-04T01:14:00.005-10:00

I've been so busy trying to balance work, sarging, friends, family, etc. I've never lived such a full life. A difference in my attitude is that there were times I would pass on going out because I was "too tired". However, now, because "learning" to be more social is one of my priorities. Thus, I've juggled everything to fit within the 24 hour day.

My coaching of new guys have been most fulfilling, because I've had to push myself to become better, keeping up with their improvement or just plain keeping my appointment with them. It seems that I can move the rookies to the next level, but now I'm at a new challenge. For various reasons, my guys have either stagnated, dropped out or will go for the easy lay. Interestingly, some of the guys that are pretty good at pickup will query me about "inner game" or relationship issues. I would never thought people (guys) would come to me about being successful with women. LOL

Because I am NOT a "natural", I am able to use my learning experinences to relate to the students. I had an extended conversation with Odin of the Miami Lair, who is what I think they call an "elder". I think we could safely say he is a PUA & conducts bootcamps & other training. Besides being a super guy, he is very respectful & rides a motorcycle.

Interestingly, we have different views on pickup or the process of getting women to do what they really want to do, but have an anti-slut shield. However, ironically, we agree on the final outcome. He is really into what he calls natural game, but when he lays out his synopsis, there is a rhythm / routine to his game.

One insight he shared that we have no proof but it makes empirical sense to me. IF a guys has sex at sixteen or early he is or will become a "natural" when it comes to women. I'm not exactly sure of his reasoning but this logic does resonate with me. Because I was a 'late-bloomer', I have to really work at it.

I must say I am "GIB" but the trick is how do I get them into the bedroom? LOL I guess that is why I'm in the community. The reality is that because I want the female to enjoy herself, I really work hard at pleasuring her in bed. BUT the real reality is that for the fairer sex, the emotional / mental aspect is more pleasing that the physical pleasure. Whereas, we men, focus on the physical. Nonetheless, it is important to know how the female anatomy responds to various stimuli and be response to heighten their sensual pleasure.

Oh, I too digress -- back to coaching.
RECENTLY, my challenge has been yo find ways to motivate my guys when they become discouraged or it becomes difficult.

More to share later.

Cheers,
Menace

Response to Bro' AK's comment:

2009-09-04T00:53:00.007-10:00

Hey Brother AK -

I think we are in the middle ground of being Consciously Competent. Mind you, not all the time, but for the most part we are aware of the group / emotional dynamics of our interactions. As such there are times, we can consciously (or even unconsiously) break the rules.

The example of "leaning in" is a good one. You are correct, if you have a lot or enough value, it really doesn't matter. However, in my coaching, I see it quite a bit in my charges & thus make them aware that they are doing it AND it is quite noticeable. I may be a bit more sensitive to this because I still catch myself doing that leaning-in. I catch myself, before it becomes the disconcerting "pecking" behaviour. The short of it, is that you can get away with things the newbie cannot.

I am super excited for you, especially if you can coach / assist Frank in his Emotional Needs Assessment (ENA) model. Even tho' you are articulate in explaining the model in our blog, I find it is too much for me to assimilate. Having someone explain / demo / coach me would be a bunch easier for me to grasp. Thus, if you are one of his coaches, that would be so awesome for you to spread his ENA model.

I know you have a very "reserved" opinion about Neil, but he believes that it behooves a rookie to embrace one style, learn it well, then move on. I totally respect your knowledge of Inner & Outer Game, and as I stated in other posts, having a "competing" view really broadens my own perspective.

I don't know if you have experienced it yet, but coaching is much easier that pushing oneself in this adventure of self-improvement. However, that is the challenge . . . I too need to sarge & keep on top of pushing myself toward improvement. I'm not sure how others do it, but when I mentoring, I'm totally into my brood & don't really sarge / open myself, unless I'm demo-ing.

One thing I did want to query the field is, if a female is a bit out of my usual target, eg. you mentioned a girl that was a bit heavier, but there is a sexual attraction, do you go for the F-close? She is not drunk & neither are you, but she maybe a "6" or "7" but perhaps has great moves on the dance floor, or knows how to flirt, therefore, there is a sensual edge to her -- that is intriguing. To go to bed or not???

Let me end now & continue another post on my recent views.

Love, Peace & Happiness,
Menace

AK's Field Report for Sept 3 '09

2009-09-03T20:34:00.001-10:00

I've been falling behind on focusing on game lately considering I have lately gotten higher priorities on my list of things. The only exception has been online game, and that seems to only be getting me so far (meaning I haven't had a date off of there, with the exception of the girl that I used to know, in a very long time) :-(

Anyhow, I was meeting some bros downtown, and as I passed the Dog's Bollocks, I decided to go back to it to at least do one performance as I remembered it was karaoke night.

The best part of the result though was the wake-up call as to how badly I had started violating ENs :-o On I go to the actual FR.

Karaoke Bar Night Game Field Report for Sept 3 '09

So I got a book and I went next to a girl. She was a bit heavier, but still not bad. I put my binder of songs I was picking from on her things next to her for a sec, but when I realized that I had placed it on her things, I went to move to another location a bit further from her. She was picking a song to sing as well. When she saw me moving, she told me to come back as she moved her things. I asked her if she always demanded things so fiercely like that, and she replied that she did.

I helped her pick her song and as she went to hand it in, she told me that she was really nervous. I asked her if a hug would help, and she replied that it would, so I gave her one. I had to go to the washroom, so I left for a bit and when I returned I didn't see her anywhere, so I started talking to basically everyone I could find.

I talked to two dudes, then I opened a group of 4 dudes and a gal and one of the dudes started a pretty half decent convo with me. He then started to pressure me into getting a drink. After declining a few times, I left that group.

I then went to talk to a gal I had noticed looking at me earlier who was at the bar who seemed to be talking to her friend. I opened her with "Hey, do you know what time it is?" She started looking around trying to figure out where she could find the time, and I interrupted her saying, "Actually I really don't care what time it is. I just wanted to flirt with you." She replied, "Nice, very smooth." We had a half decent convo going, however I got called up to sing which interrupted the flow of it.

I sang my song, however as I was singing, I noticed a girl that looked really upset or something sitting on one of the couches around the singing area. So I went to talk to her after I was done my song.

Interesting part was that she was friends with a girl I had seen every time I had gone to that bar for karaoke so far :-o

Now, a long story short, I ended up catching myself addressing an EN or two, however I noticed more ENs I violated than ones I addressed :-( I ended up addressing reputation while violating it a few times after-wards. I addressed dominance very lightly while not escalating much with my actions when I had the perfect opportunity. It was rather unfortunately, and the worst part was at the end how I attempted getting contact info like never before; kind of by pushing her instead of asking for a number. Mind you, she didn't go very far with my ping tests, so I should've known better. I also think I should've tried bouncing her quite a bit sooner, instead I ended up wasting time entertaining her :-o I guess I got what I deserved, being the entertainment money-- wait a sec; I didn't even get a banana. Shitty deal. Anyhow, I believe it's ENA time.

ENA of Bored Gal

EN1 (reputation)
-addressed:
--mentioned that I believe that whatever happens between 2 people or more, stays between two people (related it to someone we were talking about)
-violated:
--joined her in gossiping and about her friend's crush and how I felt about the dude that she's with

EN2 (range of emotions)
-addressed
--well I got her laughing every now and then and was keeping her entertained (enjoyment, [when I stopped] boredom, discomfort when I tried half hugging her with my arm around her, etc.)
--took me a big to get her name as it was a bit different, which I'm sure brought frustration, grief, tension, and eventually relief when I got it

EN3 (cater to the little girl)
-very lightly addressed
--tried comforting her to make her feel better, hence the offer of the first hug and taking one arm out to wait for her to complete the hug

EN4 (dominance)
-addressed
--went to talk to her, kept leading the conversation
-violated
--definitely didn't escalate as much and when needed to :-(

EN5 (fear of abandonment)
-neutral

EN6 (honesty)
-very lightly addressed
--confronted her about not having been well taken care of when she ended up telling me about how her friends let her get overly wasted or something of the sort
-violated
--mentioned something about not being too much of an angry person (anger = honesty from what I've heard in women's minds :-o)

EN7 (safety)
-violated
--I tried bouncing her after dragging the conversation for far too long and plus I reminded her of a negative experience which she likely associated with me when I attempted it (I basically suggested going out for an adventure which reminded her of a time when she had a similar experience that ended up being negative to which I responded that she wasn't well taken care of then)

EN8 (handling her sexuality)
-lightly addressed
--I'm pretty sure I mentioned that when these two girls weren't singing the best and she commented on it, I told her that all that it matters is that they're having fun
-neutral
--the more I think about this one, the more I realize that what I thought could've violated it likely wasn't quite enough to violate it, as much as I'd like to make sure I catch myself if I did
--I definitely had the chance to address this one quite a few times as I was tested for it, however I don't think I did any worse than neutral

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-addressed
--told her how I talk to many people and how I had already met her friend at a previous time at that venue

EN10 (proving I'm not a homosexual)
-addressed
--even though I don't believe I attempted hard enough and when it was time to escalate, I still did some escalation including each of the hugs (one with each arm)

Summary: Well, I think I did very well to fall into emotional cookie man territory. Especially considering the way I tried getting her number almost indirectly, no wonder all she could tell me was that we'll see each other again at another karaoke event at the venue :-o

AK's Online Msg Analysis (as it related to ENs)

2009-08-27T19:31:00.002-10:00

Quick Online Game Analysis (as it relates to ENs)

VERY quick online dating realization; just caught myself violating fear of abandonment by fishing for it. No wonder I didn't get a message back from her :-D Here's what I wrote:
***quote***
Subject: Fav prt

Hello M,
You know, one of my fav things to do is find things that make people unique. So on that note, tell me about yourself ;-)

"SD" [used real first name here]
***end quote***

I can see how this would address dominance and high quality sperm, but I definitely also see it violating fear of abandonment. I'm definitely going to start doing at the very least quick ENAs on my e-mails to girls from now on, especially ones that didn't get me a response. I'm also going to try seeing if I can address every EN in my first e-mail to a girl (I think I'll start this with the initial e-mails to girls and soon enough I'll start aiming for a certain number of msgs within a set period of time to ensure I'm getting enough practice). This'll definitely be fun :-D

AK's Date FR on Aug 27 '09

2009-08-27T19:17:00.001-10:00

Wow, what an amazing "wake-up call."

Online Game Lately

I haven't gone out in a bit now as I've been busy working on a few other things I'm currently taking care of in my life. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from doing online dating, as that barely takes away from my time and I find it to be a really good practice of ENA/ENPs while at the same time seeing how far I can take it.

Date with Girl I Used to Know in London ON - Aug 27 '09

So what happened was before leaving for my parents', I changed my postal code and city temporarily on Pof to signify that I'm visiting the city my parents live in. I typically make that change after I've left for my parents'. So what happens is that I also decided to try signing up on the list of people looking for a date on Friday (which is a feature on Pof).

About an hour or two later, this girl that I've hung out with before a few times and fooled around with a bit the last time I saw her SMS' me saying that she sees I'm now in town (my parents' town, that is, where she lives). I responded playfully calling her a stalker. We jokes around a bit and she hinted at the fact that she wanted me to take her out for a walk, however since she was being so subtle about it, I ended up playing around with it and that eventually killed off the string of SMS'. Now that I think about it actually, I see how this would violate dominance :-(

Anyhow, today I decided to flirt with her a bit and what-not so I SMSed her saying that it interesting how she had mentioned about the deserts missing the rain last night. She didn't catch on (it's lyrics off of a song that goes, "and I miss you" before that line, so I was implying that she missed me). She took it straight forward (almost like I with her sub-context the night before). So long story short, we starting discussing hanging out tonight and eventually ended up meeting up.

Now this was a huge epiphany for me, remembering how several years ago (probably about 5 now) we were sitting in the exact same spot and this time I could identify her tests like there was no tomorrow. I wasn't all that quick on the up-take on a number of them, and unfortunately I did fail a few of them which would explain the LMR that I kept on getting.

So this has opened my eyes to two/three things
-need to go on a lot more dates to get better at avoiding violating & also to be instead addressing ENs better (kind of already knew this, however I haven't successfully gotten too many dates, even phone numbers off of Pof I've either failed to follow up with or they've ignored me :-o)
-need to polish up EN satisfying techniques/stories (also already knew this, need to focus hard on that which I will start as soon as I take care of a rather big road-block in my life I'm dealing with right now)
-WOW, have I ever improved since I started my development (

Specific Examples of the Tests Incurred

Tests I got that were basically blatantly obvious to me:
-she'd complain about me playing around by hitting her with a pillow where-as she's start horsing around by hitting me right after (range of emotions; addressed it several times)
--I'd have pillow and light hitting fights with her
-she'd mention something about me liking what's in her bra after showing me her bra (not a homo test; addressed it, although was a bit slow on it)
--replied, "Of course I like what's in it. What do you think I'm gay or something?"
---BTW this was really interesting for me because before I noticed the EN expressed, I was in "old-school train of thought" where I was thinking that she said that to see if I'd comment on it or if I'm innocent, and back in the day I'd definitely pick the "innocent" route :-o
-she said, "You sleep with all girls, don't you?" (fear of abandonment, addressed it well)
--Replied something to the affect of, "No way, I only sleep with quality girls that pass my criteria."
-while I was doing private karaoke in my chariot, she said that I should play some make-out music instead (dominance; violated this one)
---answered "why do we need music" thus making it "her fault" :-(

Less blatant ones:
-asking me about my job and certain details about it (dominance - seeing if I had planned things out or if I was wishy-washy; addressed it)
--mentioned specific details which showed why I felt about my job the way I do
-what I do (in respect to seduction without actually mentioning the term "seduction") [dominance; addressed it]
--explained that I am studying relationships and am working on understanding women better and I'm getting pretty good at it
-pushed me to tell her things I wasn't sure she could handle (dominance; addressed it)
--I told her that I wasn't comfortable telling her things that I wasn't sure she could handle the truth about
-aiming for hitting my nuts, which I stopped her and told her in a serious voice that she could hit me elsewhere, but hitting me there definitely wouldn't fly (dominance + cater to the little girl; addressed)
-mentioned she'd have me over to her place to cuddle if she didn't have roommates, but it would involve nothing more thank cuddling (high quality sperm; was a bit slow in responding to this one, however I ended up addressing it)
--ended up mentioning "I'd probably cuddle with you for a bit. Although what makes you think you even deserve cuddling? [ok, now I'm seeing how I might've violated fear of abandonment with that one :-o]
-invited herself to my place for business meetings (cater to the little girl + dominance; partially addressed)
--ended up saying, "Not more than one night a week."
-after the one above, mentioned she'd sleep on my couch (safety; first violated it, then corrected myself to address it)
--Me: "Good luck with sleeping on my couch while inviting yourself. Although on the other hand, I wouldn't make you do anything you're not comfortable doing, as I already mentioned."
-told me I should be perfect when I was single a song that went, "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" (dominance/cater the the little girl; lightly addressed it, I believe)
--replied, "No, I can't be. Well actually I guess I can work towards it."
---in retrospect, I think I should've aimed more for catering to the little girl, saying that no one is perfect; the most we can do is focus on being at our best

Since I mentioned the tests above plus I need to go to bed, I'm going to leave out the full ENA for now, and will hopefully have a chance to come back to it soon :-) Plus on top of that, I'm going to find a way to narrow down my online game mistakes and work on ironing them out so that I can at least be getting some dates during these hard times of being too busy to go out and what-not. Doing the FMG homework would definitely be an excellent start to that :-o Will try my best to find a place in my busy sched to do that very soon.

P.E. (post-edit):
I just had to also mention how I violated dominance at the end of the interaction and also how I was planning on trying to get her to let me in for a moment at least to see if I could further escalate but failed to do so.

When she was about to get out of my car after driving her home, she said, "I'll give you a hug" and gave me a hug. I then kissed her once and basically almost started to kiss her again but then didn't do it. She looked like she was about to go for the second kiss, but then when I didn't do it, I definitely violated dominance :-o

As for going up to her place, I [i]really[/i] needed to go to the washroom, and I recall that I had a situation last Halloween when I saved a girl in distress on the street and didn't end up making the best of the situation when I was done saving her. Following that situation, my bro I was hanging with that night told me I should've either offered to drive her home that night since my car was down the street from where we met or at least asked for her number to make sure she made it home OK, which I promised myself I'd do the next time I ran into a similar situation. If I had driven her home BTW, my bro had told me I could always ask her to use her washroom and seen if I could take it anywhere. So I had my mind set to try on my date described above, however when I got to her place, I failed to attempt it. Now while I see this as not being dominant enough, I think that sub-consciously, I could've likely not been all that into it. I recall that the last time I had seen her, I had told myself that she's definitely not worth my time based and her physical appearance and what-not. However last night while she had a bit of an odd smell at times (and also some nicer smells at other times), it really reminded me of a girl I had been with in the past that started out smelling weird, but I ended up telling her about it, and her and I because amazing friends with benefits (or in fact, now that I think about it, so was closed to what I'd call a "harem girl" today since every now and then we'd do things outside the house like for instance when we went to Montreal). So in my mind (on a conscious level) on the date, I was telling myself how the way I was treated was more important than her smell/appearance. She wasn't ugly by any means, but just a bit unappealing in a few some-what smaller ways, hence why I kept working on escalating and why I had told myself that I'll ask to use her washroom when I had driver her to her place. So I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I didn't go ahead with that, yet at the same time I'm seeing polishing of my dominance skills surfacing up yet again, which I'll definitely take as a learning opportunity :-)

AK's Field Report for Aug 11 '09

2009-08-12T19:35:00.001-10:00

***NOTE: Starting writing this up last night and fell asleep half way through the ENA, so I'm not going to bother changing the FR into further past (as in "last night" as opposed to "tonight" etc.)

Wow, tonight was definitely something else. Epiphanies flying left right and centre. So much so, that I've decided to make next week "reading week" for me where I will go out before work (this week is another night week for me) and I will focus on getting my homework done with a minor focus on making approaches to/from the venue in question :-)

Night Game - Aug 11 09

Klas and I were meeting eventually, but I started out by myself.

Tequila Sunrise/karaoke bar

I wasn't that big of a fan of that venue to begin with, but last week it wasn't bad, so I decided to start out my night there. Some dude started bashing me for all kinds of crap, starting with my response as to where I'm from, then the fact that I didn't drink :-o The place was pretty dead, so I didn't even stick around to sing my song, decided to hit the streets instead. I was pretty close to having covered the entire venue (having approached everyone there) and there were literally around 5% women there, so I almost felt like a homo paying so much attention to dudes.

Street Game

The first approach I made was on a 3-set of younger girls. One of them was insanely dominant and since I went indirect and remained indirect, she started trying to figure out why I was talking to them. Wow, it went absolutely terribly, and as opposed to making it better, I ended up adding fuel to the fire in the way that I confronted her. I just started reading Frank's from Loser to Seducer last night, and I noticed that at the beginning of it he especially thanks the women that have hurt him. That was inspiring as hell to me. Now more than ever I'm starting to notice how I have been settling for whatever I could get, always the girl who was into me, never been the one who would be choosing the girl he's with, practically. I have a belief that we're all hypocrites to some level, and this is exactly the reason why; I know that settling for someone isn't what I'd like, yet I don't put enough into developing myself to be on the opposite side of the spectrum. Hence my "reading week" decision. I will focus on that + the gym considering I've practically not been going to the gym at all lately and I'm hating it. Anyways, enough running on a tangent for now :-D

So the next approach I made was to a girl sitting down. I had realized how badly I had screwed myself by having made an indirect approach on the street, so I decided to try this new tactic I had heard about and that Nitro also had mentioned. It involved opening indirect yet switching to direct before giving her the chance to answer. As I made my approach, it didn't really seem to work. I kept leading the conversation however, as my focus for tonight was supposed to be dominance. I noticed that everytime I was talking to her, she'd look away, so I decided that this must've been due to her fear of safety, so I let her go. I ended up seeing her again later when we went to the Hideout and it turned out that she really didn't understand English very well as she was visiting from Poland. She was initially waiting for her "friend." I ended up meeting him and talking to him as well. Klas also joined us and then Klas and the dude each went the opposite direction. The girl eventually invited me to sit down with her on the bench and I accepted. Just as I was about to break through her excuses to not exchange numbers, the dude returned. She told her that she needed to go to the washroom, and he pointed her in the direction of it which was down-stairs. I Klas and I believe that that was a sign for me to follow her, however I ended up going to meet back up w/ Klas :-( At the very least we could've exchanged contact info down-stairs :-(

I ended up approaching a girl in front of Tattoo who was very cute, however her friends ended up calling her over and she left. She seemed to be digging the way I made the approach the same way that I did with the Polish chick. I didn't quite have enough time to go anywhere (or perhaps I was just winding things too long :-/). Regardless, I got nothing but a bit of convo with her.

Once we had considered the night over, we started heading back and a chick sitting in front of a bar with about 5 dudes and another chick I believe, kept starring at me as we passed. I said "hi" to her and she said "hi" back. I'm not sure if I had talked to her tonight. Perhaps she was one of the girls that I spoke to at the karaoke bar :-/ I probably should've gone over to see what was going on, but unfortunately I didn't. I need to work on pushing myself a bit more as this just won't do. However, that event right there was in fact what finally made me realize how much I was reliant on HER choosing me :-o

ENA

No more slacking off on the ENAs. I'm going to do one on the Polish chick.

EN1 (reputation):
-neutral

EN2 (range of emotions):
-addressed
--I took the conversation in different directions, let alone the fact that I tried to trick her from indirect to direct (although it's a tad of a mystery how much she understood it as she ended up answering my indirect question even though I told her I was kidding about it)
--also, teaching her a word in English and mentioning that the swear words of a language are the most important ones to learn probably set off a few emotions as well

EN3 (cater to the little girl):
-neutral

EN4 (dominance):
-addressed
--I re-approached her the second time, meeting the male friend she was initially meeting and what-not
--I lead the conversation

EN5 (fear of abandonment):
-addressed
--I tried convincing her that we should hang out and I was almost there until the dude came by (sure, I guess this was a bit weak for foa :-/)
--I did say tell her that I'd save her if she was drowning (I guess more-so of a safety one, but still a bit of foa involved)

EN6 (honesty)
-neutral

EN7 (safety)
-addressed
--at the very least the saving her from drowning when she mentioned two stories about how things around her seem to always be drowning

EN8 (handling her sexuality)
-potentially violated
--assuming she expected me to follow her downstairs to the washroom, and who knows what could've gone on there, I didn't do too well with this one (although on the other hand, this assumption could pretty likely violate a whole bunch of others as well come to think of it :-/)

EN9 (high quality sperm)
-addressed
--based on the way that I talked to her (body language, tone of voice, etc)
--the fact that I was able to hold up the convo with her "friend" when he came along made me seem extra social and therefore attractive to other women
--enough addressed other ENs

EN10 (prove I'm not a homo)
-neutral
--I do believe I did some very minor kino, but I won't count that towards it as it wasn't much at all

AK's Field Report for Aug 7 '09

2009-08-08T07:06:00.000-10:00

Going to try not getting too deep into last night's FR although it certainly was interesting.

I had decided to mainly work on 2 things; escalating and trying to get numbers. The first one I did half decently on, the second, I didn't even try for (again) :-o

Night Game - Aug 7 09

The initial plan was to meet up with Nitro but I ended up meeting some of the other dudes on my way to him (ended up meeting with him as well eventually).

The Ass-Smacker

Anyhow, as I was standing around talking to a bunch of the dudes, all of a sudden this chick smacks my ass real hard and then keeps on walking without looking back or anything. She was walking at a normal pace so I could've easily caught up to her initially. This dude that seemed to be with her (she seemed to be with another gal as well) said that she was pretty hot as he walked by. I eventually decided to try to speed-walk in attempt to catch up to them, however I didn't end up finding them :-( Not too sure why I wasn't all that enticed to initially :-/

All the approaches I attempted at this location (a Taste on Danforth) didn't quite go anywhere, and I seemed to have scared the gals I did manage to approach more than anything. I needed some more warming up though.

My bro wasn't quite feeling it, so we tried going to karaoke where we would've done a duet of Barbie Girl, however the waiter told us that we had to buy a drink in order to sing, so we left instead (I've noticed dead-beat places seem to be like that, this is the 2nd one I've come across thus far). It was rather surprising that they were open 'til 5, and there were like 5 people there, all of them rather old :-o

Downtown

Anyhow, Nitro was about to go home, however I convinced him to go out a bit and see if he could get into state. We ended up trying to car game which really started to make him feel better. In fact, had we tried being a bit more dominant, it's rather likely that he would've gotten laid by one of the girl he approached from the car :-o

We eventually decided to go by foot, so we parked the car and started making more approaches. We were talking to 3 girls who stumped us by testing us for handling their sexuality, when the dude with the round glasses, guitar, mic, and small amp around his neck came by and started singing for us. I said something stupid which definitely violated repoutation (said something to the affect of, "Hey, it's the guy who doesn't know where Bulgaria is!"). It didn't seem like anyone paid attention, but I'm still sure that it did not good either way :-( Once he was done singing, the girls left.

I pushed Nitro to make some extreme direct openers on girls who were sitting alone in cars. The first one was hillarious, where the girl first tested for dominance, and when Nitro didn't respond, she started giving him advice on how he should actually open and all this kinda bull. She tested for dominance over, and over, and over again. I passed it maybe once, but she just kept going. I catered to the little girl by giving her a hug although it seemed like initially she thought that I was gonna hit her, but when she realized I was going for a hug, she gave me a full one. Both Nitro and I got the vibe that she was pretty into me, so I should've definitely attempted going for a number :-(

Now with Nitro's advice, what I've decided next is that I will start opening with fake indirect openers and breaking them by switching to direct. I remember watching Lance Mason do a vid on that and I found it pretty interesting, so I'll see if that'll be more affective (especially for street game).

However, I still need practice on at the very least getting numbers. Perhaps those'll be my next 2 goals, as I've decided to focus on at least one thing each time I go out, and at most 2 things to not go overboard :-D

ENA

I'm starting to run a bit short on time, so I will do an ENA a little bit later on this one as well (will try not holding off too long on these :-)).

AK's Field Report for Aug 6 '09

2009-08-06T21:39:00.001-10:00

Well, I'm really not going to write up a whole lot of details about tonight. I feel that the biggest lesson was well obvious for me, so I'll get right into it :-)

Karaoke & Street Game - Aug 6 09

Well, my bro and I started the night out at a karaoke bar. I kept trying to socialize with everyone, but I kept ceasing the attempt in question.

The biggest thing that I didn't like about tonight was that I didn't even try getting numbers from the top 2 girls that I spoke to. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, and I had alone time with both of them for sure.

I think that I'm going to do some experimenting as of tomorrow, and I'll start with trying to get her info as soon as she shows any type of interest in me. Actually, I don't even like that. I think that I'll test her for dominance like I used to if I'm able to (even if it's within the conversation), and if she passes, I'll try going for the number.

I actually rather enjoyed talking to guys, girls, and mixed sets. It was definitely pleasant and tons of fun. I will definitely continue on working towards "being the mayor of Funky Town" :-D My social skills definitely were well above par, so I'm happy with that way that that went.

A couple new field reports

2009-08-05T21:01:00.004-10:00

Phone game:
This is from a set last week. My wing opened a set using a canned opener.

His obstacle (pretty girl btw HB7 at least) opened me saying that someone had used that exact same line on her. She said it was some creepy guy, I backed up my wing by saying he is cool. I teased her about her stomach belt reminding me of Batmans utility belt. It was some fashion thing, they were dressed pretty nice.

We had a conversation and she gave me her card saying that maybe I knew someone that is interested in purchasing something expensive (I wont name for anonymity).

I call her number off of her card today. It is her work number and she answers it all businesslike.

Me: Has anyone tried any pickup lines on you lately?

Her: *laughs* Noooo.... Well maybe.....

Me: Do you remember me?

Her: No, who are you?

Me: I talked to you at *place*

Her: Oh yeah, you and your friend.

Me: Yeah he used the same pickup line as the other guy. My friend isnt creepy though, he is cool.

Her: Cool, so did you find anyone interested in purchasing *thing*

Me: Yeah I did, I know this millionaire named Bruce Wayne and hes looking for a place to park his batmobile.

Her: *laughs* So why did you call?

Me: We are going to get some coffee.

Her: Are we? How old are you? (shit test)

Me: Im 50. Way too old for you.

Her: *laughs* Ok give me your phone number and Ill text you after work.

Me: You give me your number, I have a pen. (it usually works better with a root/reason)

Her: ******* I have to go now, Im working.

Me: What time do you get out of work?

Her: I get out at ******

Me: Ill give you a call or text when you get out. Bye.

Her: Ok bye. (she sounded excited)

LR: 15 Minute Lay

Ok I have talked to this lady before. She was an aquaintance before. She competes in fitness competitions. Her body is a 9. Face is a 6. She is a lot of fun.

I open her or she opens me I dont remember.

We talk and build comfort. We talk about things that have been happening lately. I tell her about how the girls in the club were fighting over me. I dont realize until later, but this shows preselection.

She asks me if I have sex and if I am a virgin. I tell her no and tell her what year I lost my virginity. It was pretty early.

We talk about sex and she talks about how much it sucks how men that have sex with her usually bust a nut really fast. Not in those words. I jokingly tell her I wouldnt do that because she is in good shape and put my hands up in a boxing guard. She says that she would not punch me if I did that.

I notice that she is qualifying to me hardcore.

We keep talking, building comfort.

She has somewhere do be in half an hour and I tell her she should come over for a little bit. It took balls for me to say that. She says ok and we go to her ride and I do the ring routine in the car. She has to reach between my legs to grab her bag and I tease her about that. I cant figure out how to put the seat up so she apologizes for having to reach over me. I tell her its ok and I didnt know she cared. I kino her back and she reaches over. We drive to my place which is really close. We go inside and I start kino when we go inside by putting my arm around her lower back. We sit on the couch and I sit next to her and put my arm around her neck and put my other arm on her thigh.

I escalate and soon she is giving me a BJ.

She has to leave.

She comes back later and ....... then :) We know what happens.

Haha she even told me: Wow what happened? Im talking to you and 15 minutes later Im sucking your dick!
Then: You really have some good techniques.

We both had a good laugh

LR: HBSoca

Ok I met this girl a couple weeks ago.
I was walking down the stairs at my college campus, I see a girl walking at near the bottom of the stairs. I say whats up.

She says hi and we walk and talk, building comfort. She is looking for students so I tease her about being a hall monitor. She is really into me already and when I stop, she stops and keeps talking with me. I have to go so I get her phone number: I have to go but we should continue this conversation later.
From far away she looked like an 8, but up close she looked like a 6. I decided not to call her. A couple weeks later I decide I want to f*ck.

First I text her. I get a call back and there is silence on the other end. I dont think she knows who I am. So I call her and she remembers me.

I call her and tease her constantly about being a hall monitor. I tell her that she is a real hero and stuff like that. I build comfort on the phone and make a date for Monday.

Later on I think about how I have to wait until Monday so I call her up a couple hours later and tell her I want her to come over and watch a scary movie with me.

She says no she cant tonight. She also says she has a meeting. I tell her I have been alone at home for a while and I just want someone to chill with.

We talk for a while, I forgot what we talked about.

She says: Awwwwww...... But I get out late.

Me: I can give you a ride to and from. I will pick you up, call me after your meeting is over.

HB6: Ok

Me: I will make you steak for breakfast.

Her meeting was supposed to end at 10, but I did not get a call until 12, I thought she had flaked.

She says: My meeting just ended, blah blah blah.

Me: Ok I am going to pick you up now.

HB6: No Im in bed about to fall asleep.

Me: Get ready Im about to drive now.

HB6: Im going to be asleep when you get here.

Me: Dont do that I will be mad.

HB6: Its really late.

Me: Its college, be adventurous and have an adventure (I qualified her as being adventurous). Tomorrow this moment will not exist anymore and you will realize you only had one chance for this to happen.

HB6: I cant believe you are actually going to come over here. What if I fall asleep.

Me: Get your toothbrush and stuff and Ill talk to you on the phone until I get there.

*I build comfort on the way to and use some push pull and comfort on the way back*

On the way into my house I put my arm around her waist.

We get inside and I put a scary movie in and turn out the lights.

I have to freeze her out a bunch of times. First she wont let me kiss her *freezeout*. Then I kiss her lips but no tongue *freezeout* and so on and so on. She even told me she just wants to be friends. But I just kept up with the freezeouts. I once had to turn the lights on.

Soon we are full on making out while people in The Grudge are screaming so I change the channel with the remote and Tom and Jerry is on. We both start laughing our asses off and I put The Grudge back on. Then I decide to take it to the bedroom and smack her ass on the way up the stairs.

Good experience.

AK's Bag Full of FRs (July 29, Aug 2 & 4 '09)

2009-08-05T20:08:00.001-10:00

OK, writing up some overdue field reports about the last two times I went out; last Sunday and last night. Both were during the night indeed, and I will make a very, very quick mention about the last time I did day game as it was rather uneventful, basically.

Day Game - July 29 09

What ended up happening was I made a number of approaches and none of them seemed to be going anywhere. I had decided that this was what happened when I hadn't done my homework, so I left early to go to work to supposedly work on it, however I just ended up basically starting work early :-( I posted most of a homework assignment on the FMG forum, however I need to now do the follow up to it since I got Ken's feedback. I definitely have some work to do, however once I get to last night's field report, it'll become more apparent that I am indeed doing pretty well even before completing this ;-)

London ON Karaoke & Street Night Game - Aug 2 09

So I decided to at the very least go out and do some singing as I never ended up going out on Saturday night while I was visiting my parents as much as I wanted to. I therefore went out to an Irish bar that I had gone to in the past on Sunday night and decided to be social with everyone.

@ the Bar

I started out with a group of 2 girls and a guy. That didn't go too badly, so I moved on to a group that consisted of I believe only guys which was the next closest group. They were sitting in a corner, and I must've really been doing well, considering I got asked by one of them if I knew one of the others as he thought that this was why I started talking to them. Yet I started out by introducing myself to each of them one at a time while holding my hand out to shake theirs :-D

The third set ended up being even more interesting consisting of 1 guy and 2 girls. I was pretty sure he was with the cutie and not the fatty, but I was being social with everyone, so that really didn't matter. The dude ended up being pretty interesting, although it was really odd how at one point it seemed like he through an honesty test at me. He said, "You seem like the kind of guy who would just agree to whatever anyone's saying just to make them happy, and that's awesome." When I responded that I'd actually tell someone if my beliefs differed from theirs, he basically had the same kind of reaction as a woman would to passing her test where he said, "Oh, well that's even better." Other than that, it turned out we shared a very similar taste in cars and that made for interesting conversation.

I then moved to the next group which consisted of 1 guy and 4 girls, I believe. The guy was looking almost angry or something to that affect where he'd barely look at me while I was talking, so I tried befriending him by making some extra conversation with him. At this point, we were standing in front of a table, and I believe 2 of the girls were sitting at the table. He ended up taking 2 of the girls with him out for a smoke which left me behind with the other 2 girls. Now I feel that I really didn't try hard enough to game those two girls for two reasons:
1. I was getting too used to "just being social with everyone"
2. I was feeling very anti-social up 'til that night

I guess the mind can be the most powerful tool that can take you in a positive or negative direction (I typically use it to guide me in the positive, but unfortunately this time I didn't quite set myself up right).

Anyhow, after I left the two girls at the table who weren't all that into me, I went to a dude who seemed to be sitting at the bar by himself. It turned out he was with friends whom I ended up meeting as well. I was then called up to sing, so I sang my song, for which I got props when I was about to and after I sang it, even though it wasn't my best performance :-)

After my song, I spoke to a couple and then I decided to head to Jack's which I knew was full of people.

On the Street

I first approached a two-set which got distracted by some girl that collapsed a bit too quickly and then walked on while telling me that I should've asked the girl that collapsed how her night was going. Pretty rude, but oh well :-)

I ended up finding out that the line-up was much too long at Jack's and I had decided to get going at 1, so I decided to do some street game instead. I saw 3 girls sitting on the curb, and as soon as I approached them, one of them gave me a full check-out (something that I notice girls doing once in a blue moon). So I spoke to them for a while, however I didn't pay too much attention to any emotional needs they might've been expressing. They were waiting for a friend and seemed pretty bored, so I pointed out that they were bored (in the past, that alone has gotten a girl quite a bit into me). Unfortunately I ended up giving up after seeing no point to the convo so I walked on.

After getting out of their site, I saw a girl who was walking the opposite direction from me. I went to stop her with my hand while saying "excuse me," however she dodged me and kept walking. Indeed, some of those Londoners can be pretty rude :-o

Toronto Karaoke, Band Bar, and Street Night Game - Aug 4 09

I hadn't hung out with my buddy in a while, so we agreed to meet at a karaoke bar downtown where I wanted to at least sing one song, and if we didn't like the venue, we'd go to another one since downtown's basically always happening :-D

The Karaoke Bar

So I got to the bar and my buddy wasn't there yet, so after putting in my song, I started talking to a cute girl. She said she was waiting for her turn and seemed to be there with a guy. I then went to talk to a male and female who were sitting beside one another. The woman was rather into me, and while talking to her, my buddy arrived. I introduced him to her and we kept talking. She told me she was an art teacher and had brought her student (the guy) to meet some young girls, yet she was married and wasn't looking for a guy because that wouldn't work. I responded to that with "what happens between 2 people stays between two people." In response to this, she went out and shook my hand. After this, she kept on kinoing me every now and then, and even ended up handing me her BlackBerry with a "compose e-mail" window open on it supposedly to see how fast I could type on her touch screen. I SMSed myself her PIN (although I haven't even opened her SMS yet), and eventually I gave it back to her with a message I had written in the memo pad. She was shocked that it took me that long to write that little, so I told her that I was checking it out and I erased what I had written and wrote another sentence pretty quickly.

Now out of that experience alone, I got the crazy proof of how a married women would really respond to something that addresses an emotional need :-o I've never even been able to answer in my favor to a girl claiming she has a boyfriend, let alone a married one :-o I didn't quite like her physically though, hence why I hesitate to even open her SMS. I won't get into too much detail about that part though :-)

Anyhow, after this, I ended up going up to as many people as I could just conversing with them. I definitely didn't stay and talk to any group/person for as long as I did on Sunday, which I think was a good thing. However I went through likely about half the room, and most of the people I spoke to were dudes, but I really didn't care as I was still having the time of my life being the mayor of Funky Town as Dragonkid would put it :-D

When I got called up to sing, I sang the same song as Sunday night, and most of the room was digging it (including most of the girls in the small bar from what I could see). No one however other than my buddy that I was there with acknowledged me for it (meh :-D). Anyhow, I could see that my buddy wasn't having too much fun and after asking him if he wanted to approach anyone within the venue and he didn't seem to, I suggested we went elsewhere 'cause I really didn't want him to not be having fun.

So we headed to another venue.

On the Street in Between Bars

Well, I tried opening a girl direct, however I didn't do it right at all as I didn't wait for her to have her full attention on me before I delivered my opener. When she spoke though, I was glad I had screwed up since she had a rather disturbing voice.

At the Hideout

So my buddy and I entered the venue, and after standing around for a bit, this girl pointed towards us, so I took it as an opportunity to go talk to her and the two dudes she was with. I introduced myself and made some conversation. For some reason, she thought that my buddy was the drummer for the venue. Regardless, it was a nice warm-up. I went from there to these couches where there was a group of 1 guy and 4 women.

I sat down on their couch and introduced myself to each of them. After talking to one of them for a bit, a 5th woman came in who seemed to have been with them. I could tell that this one was a drama (range of emotions) girl from the get go as she was insanely hyper. I tried giving her some emotional cookies and she ate them up like there was no tomorrow confirming my suspicion :-D They ended up getting up to dance and the drama girl invited me to come with them as I was the only one left sitting on the couch. I got up and started to follow them, yet I stopped at my buddy who was still conversing with the girl from the group we were initially conversing with. He followed me to the dance floor behind the girls.

We ended up taking a seat where I decided to try and see if I could figure out any of the emotional needs the rest of the girls were expressing. I realized that the one that was visiting from another country for a few weeks was pretty shy likely because of a combo of reputation, little girl behavior, and of course dominance was what's typically required in order to cater to the little girl, so there must've been some of that. Interestingly enough, before we sat down, I wanted to give high 5s to two of them, yet one of them was lightly leaning down for some reason as she seemed to be busy with something, so I ended up only giving it to the visitor girl from the group. She help me hand for a bit as if she was expecting me to start dancing with her. I for some reason wasn't all that interested :-/

Anyhow, after we sat for a bit, we went back to the dance floor and from there, we went to the back as I wanted to see if the pool table was in service & available (and it was). We continued to the smoking area where I found a cell phone on the ground. It turned out that it belonged to the girl who was starting in front of it, so I returned it to her and then started making conversation with her. I definitely wasn't doing something right as she kept calling me awkward. When she called some weirdo who on the other side of the fence said, "You know what this fence is here for? It's to keep beggars like me away," awkward, I should've known that it was safety that she wasn't doing so well with. Instead, I just kept trying to break through it which ended up going nowhere. On top of that, my buddy and I were both talking to her as she seemed to be alone, so that probably didn't help the matter much :-)

The Girl that Couldn't Get Enough of Me

We ended up going back to the main area of the bar and after I got a water, I started talking to a girl who was sitting at the bar. She had a fatty friend, and somewhat chubby friend, and a really cute one. I was having quite a bit of fun talking and singing to the girl I was talking to. The fatty friend kept basically singing the songs that were being performed along and made it seem like half the time she was singing them to the girl I was talking to. She came up to us at one point and the girl I was talking to introduced us to one another. That typically doesn't happen all that often to me :-/ Anyhow, next the really cute girl came along and gave the girl I was talking to a full hug. When she was done her hug, I asked her where my hug was, so she came up to me and gave me a full one as well. She then said, "You're not from my class--" then put her glasses on and said she thought I was someone else but I looked all blurry without her glasses on. I introduced myself to her and she introduced herself to me. I believe I eventually get introduced to the last one as well.

Anyhow, the end of the night was practically there and I was talking to my buddy without at all paying attention to the girl I was talking to although she was beside us. He told me that I shouldn't be focusing on him at that point. I replied that I really didn't care, as the truth was that I really didn't :-D So what ends up happening is that the girl I was talking to starts to leave, yet she stops and says bye to me, so I say bye to her. She then stops, and says, "But you said you don't come here often, right? Then when will I see you again?" I don't believe I responded so she said, "OK, give me your number or any of your numbers or even a fake number" while taking her phone out (I had told her I have 6 phone numbers, which I really do). I gave her my cell number and she assumed it was fake. It was funny, 'cause this is typically something that I would do and/or would expect the dude to be doing (well I'd do it a bit differently, but she was definitely doing the chasing anyways :-D). Anyhow, I gave her my number and took my cell out. She called it and saw her number on my phone. I told her to listen to her phone and when she heard my caller ring tune, she asked if I could do that to her phone as well. She then told me to use the number (I believe she was referring to her number) sometime and left.

My buddy and I started walking towards my car and saw a girl sitting in front of a convenience store. We decided to approach her, but that really didn't go so well (I approached her indirect and she definitely started to show signs of not feeling safe which I didn't do anything about, plus we were both talking to her eventually, which I'm sure didn't help). Anyhow, I ended up getting an SMS while I was talking to her which I didn't pay much attention to until we were done talking to her.

So turns out that the girl that had just gotten my number had SMSed me telling me it was nice meeting me. I flirted with her for a bit and what-not. Today, I tried setting up a date with her, however she mentioned something about getting held back at work and that if she couldn't make it (as I recommended) she'd make it up to me :-D So far, it seems like it's more likely for the 2nd scenario. I'll probably set up a date with her for next week as I'll likely be busy the rest of the week.

The ENA of the Post

Wow, this sure reminds me of the good ol' days when every field report would be about this length :-o It sure did tire me out though, so I'm going to leave my ENA for a little bit later.

AK's Story about Love + Honesty

2009-08-05T18:47:00.000-10:00

First and foremost, I've decided that as of this point, I will no longer write with "EN#s" and instead will actually use their descriptions. I'll try pretty hard to do the same when I talk as well :-D

About Love

Anyhow, I was listening to Frank's Multiple Women Management CD and I noticed that he mentioned something about telling all of his women that he loved them as it helped him to empower him or something along those lines. This really blew my mind, because I knew for a fact that I love the girl I'm seeing, however previous experiences have told me that it's really not something I want to tell her even though it basically has come up. In fact, she had told me that there's no way she's telling it to me first (hinting at dominance, amazing as she is, which BTW I had coincidentally just listened someone mention in an interview :-o). So I knew at that point that from this point on, I would tell the main girl I'm currently seeing how she feels. I basically felt like I was "in denial" even though at the same time when I was alone I'd tell myself that I loved that girl.

So fast-forward to last Monday when we were sitting on my futon; I of course did what I had planned, even if I didn't initially remember the exact term I wanted to use (that "in denial" term). I ended up telling her that I loved her, and she started to kiss me like crazy. It was like an insane amount of relief for her. She told me that she had almost slipped recently, but she's really glad that I have now opened up the grounds (or something to that affect) :-D

Honesty (as it applies to Emotional Needs)

Now writing about this has just reminded me about something else I noticed when I was last hanging with her. I've been doing all kinds of things to be politically correct for quite the while, and with the help of seduction along with my development, I've been developing myself in ways that I'd no longer need to do so. I realized however that I'd still do it every now and then, and when I noticed that, I'd tell myself, "OK, now just tell her the truth, and if it ticks her off, I've definitely addressed this Emotional Need." It was great, as I feel I was more honest with her than ever (and I am typically very honest with her to begin with) :-o

AK's Final Thought on Last Night + the Amazing After-Effect From it

2009-07-31T19:37:00.000-10:00

Final Thought on Last Night's Date

I was thinking what ENs most likely drove her away, and since I felt it was likely the fact that she initially got attracted based on passive value (EN9), I must've violated that by seeming overly clingy by trying to plan things too quickly and masking sure she's OK (basically by over-doing EN5 type of things). Furthermore, since my actions were not congruent with the way she initially saw me as, this would've violated EN4 as well.

So in closing on this situation, now I need to remember to not overly hurry things and/or try so hard the way I did with this girl when it comes to girls that aren't very high in need of having their EN5 addressed. Duly noted :-D

The After-Effect

Wow, has this experience ever pumped me up. I felt amazing today and I was attracting all kinds of people to me including some lady that passed by me as I was packing my massage table in my trunk telling me that she has been doing professional massaging on her massage table for the past 7 years. I let the convo hang and she left after waiting for a bit. Dammit, I definitely need to get used to making the most out of opportunities like that :-o Next time I am definitely going to see if I can arrange something with her if any kind of similar situation occurs :-D

Over-Attempting to Address Weaker ENs

2009-07-31T00:38:00.004-10:00

Over-Attempting to Address Weaker ENs

Hmm, very interesting; TD girl never msged in a few hrs, so I msged her asking if everything was going alright with her. Since I got no reply, although I saw that she saw my msg, I msged her again at around 2 A.M. when I work up clarifying the wording to my msg asking if everything was OK. Now I see that she's deleted me off of BB messenger which automatically deletes her contact off of my BB messenger list.

So basically I could see that EN6 wasn't very strong for her, yet I tried a bit too hard to address it. Unless it was something else I did wrong, but since I have no feedback (just the fact that she deleted me), I'm going to go on a whim that I over-did the attempt to make sure everything was going alright with her with that late night msg, although she didn't do as promised letting me know when she got home :-/ Ahh, those emotional creatures sure can be weird. Movin' on :-D

P.S. Oops, I just realized I violated EN7 pretty badly too when I let her sit on my red chair at my table for supper and then told her how my other one like it broke by my sitting at it :-o :-( The more I think about it, the more ENs I'm thinking I violated. Another one was likely EN6 where as we were in front of the door about to leave, she asked me if she had beard burn, and I said "yes," and then told her that I doubt it was beard burn as most of her face was pretty red. Although it's a bit hard for me to say whether or not that was a violation or addressed as I'm sure that my response could've easily ticked her off :-/ It was a bit back & forth though, hence why I'm leaning more towards violated :-( Oh well, as long as I keep learning from my mistakes, I should be good :-D

AK's "Day 2" Field Report for July 30 '09

2009-07-30T17:21:00.000-10:00

I did some day game yesterday before work, but it really didn't end up going so well, so I'm going to at least post what I have related to my homework from last Sunday as I'm really getting tired of this type of situation :-)

Damn, I'm so friggen excited about today though; I finally went on my first date in months. I can't remember the last time I was with a younger girl, and it was definitely fun :-D In fact, I'm rather proud of myself as I escalated as far as I could which I remember used to be a bit of a sticking point for me, so I'm definitely advancing.

Now I need to start getting more dates and before I know it, my dream harem will be put together :-D I have the goal of 5, but I think maybe 3 will be a good place to start once I get there and I'll see how I handle that to begin with. Anyhow, on to the FR :-D

TD Girl Date (day 2 I guess) - July 30 '09

Yup, she's quite a bit of an EN 3 girl, but so far I don't see any red flags to make her too much of an EN 3 girl, and I feel I handled it pretty well (definitely going to at least 1 ENA at the end of this FR).

Started out on the Quay and we were going to go on the swings, however they were taken, so I took her to this new place I found on the lake which has sand, public chairs under metallic umbrellas with holes in them and you can watch the airplanes land and lift off on the island. She wasn't all that impressed, however it still went well. I noticed her playing with her hair while we were walking there and eventually took her hand saying that I was stabilizing it as it was waving so much unless her other one (credit to Hayami for that one :-D although on the other hand, based on experience it would've likely gone the same way had I not said anything :-/). I did this after I made sure she was walking on the inside of the street and explained why I was doing that. I did a ping test with her hand and she lightly squeezed back, so I probably should've tried escalating sooner, but at the very least I knew that it was one :-D

@ the Sandbox

So once we got to the sandbox if you will (that's what I'll call it from now on :-D), we re-arranged the chairs (each umbrella BTW had 2 chairs under it conveniently enough) so that they'd be facing the lake directly ahead. We then sat down after I brushed the sand off of the arm rests between us. I eventually started holding her hand that was sitting on the armrest between us. We talked for a while where every now and then I'm make a joke about us moving to Miami for instance and having 3.5 children and live our perfect life together with our family (credit: Sasha). She liked it. I also pointed out on a few occasions how we had so much in common even though a fair amount of it was jokingly if not all of it. She seemed to enjoy that.

Swinging Good Times

After we sat in the sandbox, we went back to the swings and that time they were available. There were 2 guys and 2 girls sitting talking next to them, but there was no one on them. We ended up swinging for a bit and talking. There was mention of Greece, so I told her how my grandpa used to be the ambassador of my country in Greece and how we'd go visit the residence that was there for him rather often. I guess that would've addressed EN9.

On our way to my car as we headed back to my place without me specifically mentioning my place, she lied to me about not being able to sing. I believe that this was likely part of a test to see if I'd make her sing (see if I'd be domineering I guess, or if I was indeed a good leader). I of course told her that I wouldn't make her do anything she wasn't comfortable doing. She later told me that she either used to be or was in a choir as I told her that she sang really well.

At the Crib

Anyhow, I had told her that I was taking her to a place where we'd eat, sing, dance, and it had an amazing view. She wanted to go on my balcony and basically got in bratty mode where she tried going around me. I didn't let her. It's funny 'cause I kind of tried escalating by giving her a light hug but she didn't respond. I then ended up kissing her as I was "frowning upon her" and then told her that I was still frowning upon her. Anyhow, after she basically begged me to let her on my balcony, I told her that she could but only if she followed my lead. I took her hand and lead her through my massage table's cart's handle making sure she made it through the door OK.

Once we were done with the balcony, I made a quick supper (dim sum in the microwave :-D) and we then had it. After this, I started up the karaoke and sang one song she said she knew. Then for the next song, I played a slower one and got up to dance with her. Of course, dancing turned into heavy make-out on my futon, shirt came off, yet the bra she was wearing was the weirdest one I've ever seen. I ended up basically pushing it out of the way at the front and what-not. She ended up telling me that she had to go. I knew she had a timeline as she had told me she had to work early and get back to her parents which is where she's living for the summer while school's out. I of course stopped and she put her top back on.

I told her that we can cook my fav meal next time we hang out, and I didn't tell her that I could massage her on my massage table, so I can surprise her with that :-D This should definitely be tons of fun, no doubt about it. Wow, I'm starting to remember how terribly I handled the last date I was on. DAMN, am I ever proud of myself for handling this one so well (at least comparatively :-D).

I ended up making plans for in a few week-ends as I'm starting late shifts next week (still going to be working mon-fri after all) and she works in the mornings so week-ends are all we can deal with. I have the feeling that my sched will not be helping me much with this harem, but oh well. I guess I could always change shifts with the 11 A.M. - 7 P.M. guys if worse comes to worse and if he doesn't mind :-D Plus I could always have her sleep over once we start sleeping with each other so that she can go to work from my place saving a trip from her parents who live just outside of the GTA.

BTW she appears to not be a night girl at all which I like, yet she told me she's booked one day per week with friends. This is one of those girls that it seems I initially attracted based on passive value. Seems I'm still not at the level where I can attract girls enough solely based on skill, but for one, I at least didn't fuck it up this time (or not yet anyways :-D) and two it's definitely inspiring to keep going out regardless to at least keep up the social skills as I never know what I might come across whatever level I might be at :-D Plus it's also inspiring me to do my FMG homework. Anyhow, ENA time.

ENA of Entire Date

EN1:
-neutral

EN2:
-addressed
--I made lots of jokes about us getting together which made her laugh and be happy, yet perhaps curious as to "what if," etc.
--also when I wouldn't let her out on my balcony based on her bratty behavior, she was frustrated, then went to excited and/or happy when I kissed her, then perhaps amazed once she went on the balcony and checked out the view (although perhaps the last part is closer to "passive" :-/)
--I took her on a 3-part adventure keeping it mysterious as to exactly what we were doing from the get-go

EN3:
-addressed
--took her to swings
--I talked about childhood memories about going to Greece and what the residence was like with animals that were a part of it and what-not
--I talked about how I enjoy bringing the inner-child out of people so that they can be in touch with it (which BTW was when she told me that she was like a 6 year old trapped in an adult's body)

EN4:
-addressed
--lead her from adventure to adventure
--let her go out on my balcony on my terms
-potentially violated
--after we had one package of dim sum, I perhaps asked a few too many times if she was interested in more as she wasn't sure :-(

EN5:
-addressed
--opened the door of my car for her each time she was getting in
--she said something about not going to the gym enough and mentioned that she wanted to lose more weight to which I responded that she didn't look like she had anything to lose (she responded that she wasn't looking for a compliment which I believe means I didn't make it sound sincere enough hence violating EN6 :-o)
--made plans with her and told her part of them using the fact that we didn't have much time as an excuse for not being able to do all I wanted tonight :-D
--she asked if I stop a lot of people the way I did her on the street and I told her that I didn't, and that I found something in her that made her seem really interesting and then when I talked to her, she seemed even more interesting

EN6:
-violated
--with that comment above about telling her she didn't have much to lose, I believe that the way she interpreted it violated this :-/

EN7:
-addressed
--I made sure she walked on the inside of the curb and explained why
--I explained the strategy of what to do if say someone were to attack me (meaning what her role would be in that type of situation)
--I asked her to let me know once she got home so that I'd know she made it home OK

EN8:
-addressed
--I escalated as far as I could until she stopped me (I think that this counts for this EN anyways, otherwise it's most likely neutral :-) )

EN9:
-addressed
--my story about my childhood in Greece involving my grandpa being the ambassador of my country
--told her that if she continued to be worthy of my time, I'd show her amazing adventures in London (or something to that affect)

EN10:
-neutral (although I did make out with her, but I don't feel that that's enough to address this one)

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

2009-07-26T02:05:00.002-10:00

Hey Guys -

Maybe this belongs in the comment section, but I really want to show my appreciation to Bro' AK. And thank-you for all the kind words in the comments section. I keep saying I need to post more but FORTUNATELY, this been such a positive whirlwind, that I'm enjoying AND learning every minute of the day.

Even when I crash or stall out, it has been such an interesting journey. I've met tons of great men & I don't mean only the PUAs but all the coaches & peers along the way. AND yes, even when I'm crushed or my ego is bruised, I've gained so much.

As I've come to realize, having a GF or one-itis, limited my opportunity to be social and meet other cool people. In other words, if I took my 'dates' to MY Venues, I would have deprived myself of connecting with some cool people. I'm structuring my dates to NOT frequent my venues but to seek & search for new / different places to visit.

AND yes, Bro' AK is a perfectionist! LOL However, that is what make him really good at using "EN" to analyze his interaction. On the contrary, I'm not that precise, thus haven't taken to using "ENs". (translation = I'm not that smart. --- another LOL)

Thus that is what make AK's FRs so instructional to the rest of us. His candor allows to get into his head AND at times, the female cranium to understand the transaction that is taking place. AND yes, a person can be too clinical, AND yes, the advancement of the left-side of the brain doesn't always parallel the right-side. Looking back from April when we started this blog, Bro' AK's understanding of the interaction has sky-rocketed. So in comparison, it seems his sociability is not being developed. The reality is it just has not been exponential as his dissection of the encounter.

All I have to point to is that at the first MT, AK received a score of "3" when it came to a visual evaluation. However, a few months later, his subjective mark was not a solid 7 /8, when it came to his visual presentation. But the most remarkable for him, which applies to most of us, is his growth to his inner game. Both the FR logistics and what is going on in your thoughts, give me insight AND how I can apply it to my entire game -- not only in pick-up, but human relationships in general.

Though I'm personally not seeking a GF at this point, having a GF is very valuable in understanding how to 'behave' in a relationship. The joys & comfort, as well as, the trials-&-tribulations of STAYING connected with a person of the opposite sex.

My rocky relationship (translation = learning experience) with the HBChinaDoll8 has provide me with a bit more insight into the female mind & more insight into myself. The on again / off again acquaintance has taught me to trust the surreptitious nature of life. It was when we were in the off-again. I was not even trying, but got a kiss close at the club. Because I'm so focused on Day 2s, I really didn't expect this outcome. BUT as a boy scout of being always prepared is so, so true. I recognized that she want just to hang-out with me, at least for that night, I was able to draw up, albeit, cursory knowledge to a club make-out.

Not breeds success, like success, so the following night at another venue, I was more aggressive than usual. Again, it came down to calibration to the situation. But, alas, I missed the perfect, second to get the day 2. I must have had a brain fart.

Lastly, Bro' AK, any chance of you hanging out in LA Christmas time?

Cheers,
Menace

Outcome Dependent

2009-07-12T01:21:00.005-10:00

Hey Guys -

Tonight I went out & only opened 2 sets. But this evening as opposed to last weekend, is that I had fun. Ironically the night started out a bit shaky. For whatever reason, the Sat. night Salsa Social was spare of people. I decided to troll around & perhaps come back later.

I cruised the resort area, but alas, parking was not to be found. I decided to go to a wine bar, I had not visited in months -- thinking that my buddy might be performing there.

Lots of free parking, not too crowded -- I sat at the bar alone. Yes, my friend was doing a solo act on acoustic guitar. I engaged the guy bar tender, remembering a few tid-bits of intel, he shared last time, for he was my server many moons ago.

Apparently, my guitar player friend, was not due for a respite for quite awhile. A young gentlemen sits next to me & talks knowledgeably about wine to the other (female) server. I query him on his experience of the nectar of the gods. We quickly discover our affinity for live music because he used to play bass, while I dabbled in electric guitar.

Another coincidence (?), but Friday night, I was sociable to the dude that stepped up to the bar to order a couple of glasses of water. Come to find out he played guitar in his former life AND he appreciated 'blues' guitar music. Something that I enjoy, but don't find too many kindred spirits. We kibitzed a good 20 minutes, while he 'ignored' the 2 set he came with. (note to self: NEXT TIME INTRODUCE MYSELF TO 'warm' SETS!!!)

Anyway back to Sat, we enjoy each others company & in the 40 minutes, we don't even know each others name. Finally, my bud takes his well-deserved break & joins us for a glass of wine. We catch up on old-times.

After 90 minutes of mixing with new friend & old friend, I depart the wine bar to the next venue. However, on my way out, I use a situational opener to open an older couple. I come to the realization that I really like situational opener. However, not every situation lends itself to a situational opener. Thus, I will continue to elevate my skill in using opinion openers.

At my next stop, I decide this would be my last place for the night & order my single mug of beer. I still have difficulty with seated sets so I don't open any tables while I was at the counter. However, I do open the server with the Facebook opener. It went well, but it reinforces why I don't drink, when I'm seriously sarging -- I forget to do part 2 of the opener. LOL

Still trying to get over my oneitis, even tho' I'm still seeing multiple women. :-o Miss HB-ChinaDoll8, is still hovering in my brain. HOWEVER, would I would have met so many cool women (& guys) if we were still an item? Additionally, am I a hypocrite? I multiple date, but feel insecure if the female does it.

Anyway, I think I am over this latest hump. Lesson: "Don't become Outcome Dependent", even with openers. In other words, use whatever fits -- if an situational opener is appropriate -- I need to go with it -- rather than freeze or stall out.

Can't wait to continue coaching / sarging with Jester this coming week. This will allow me to up my game. I also miss Gamer -- I could have used him as a 'pivot' on Thurs! ;-} And checking in with JMTxxx to begin winging with each other.

Peace,
Menace

Getting out of MY head space

2009-07-10T10:42:00.004-10:00

Hello Guys –

I’ve been having massive amounts of AA the past two weekends.

I’m thinking / hoping it is my “one-step” backwards to my 2 steps forward.

I did volunteer to be on Style’s Stylelife Street Team. Each week we receive a new opener for us to test in the field as well as a survey we will fill out at the end of the week on our results. Some of the openers are ‘old’ ones that have been out for a while. The purpose of these vintage openers is to “get caught” – to see if the field is saturated with these canned openers.

Neil also gives us some of his new openers to test. These new ones never get called out, unless of course the delivery seems ‘canned’. One of the realizations of opening is that the delivery is actually more important that what is verbally spoken. Whether canned or not, if it is not spoken “naturally” then it may get called as a pickup line.

Also, the general rules help insure to NOT be perceived at the ‘creepy’ guy or survey taker, which actually might be worse than being caught as a pickup artist. LOL

SMILE :-)
False Time Constraint
Reason for asking
Body Language – on the brink of leaving
Energy level same or higher than group
Include the entire group in convo
Non-reactive

I think my AA came from having to do the weekly assignment. Don’t get me wrong. Some of the openers are gold and I can see adding them to my repertoire. As Style suggests, one really only needs 2 two openers.

In my case, I think having to use the opener-of-the-week, stymied me. However, in my mind, I could see another opener being a better fit. Also, I think I’m trying to use the opener “perfectly”, which of course is not the point.

BTW – I’ve never been called out. I’ve never been asked if I trying to pick them (the girls) up, AND I’ve not been perceive as the ‘creepy’ guy (I think J)

Another thing I’ve come to realize is that, now that I’m seeing a few women, I’ve become not as motivated. Not lazy per se, because I’m always out trying to demo the new opener, as well as sarging several times a week, but lazy-in-the-brain.

Update since Sunday:

But now that I had to let go my latest girl, I think that will get me back on track. Sigh . . . down to 2.5 women in my life. HBChinaDoll8 was fun for the month or so that we saw each other but I think she is emotionally unavailable. The attraction is there, she invites me to stay over, but we have not as yet closed the deal. Lots of 2 steps forward, 1 step backward & it has been a learning experience in pushing the comfort.

I’m a poor “breaker-upper”. LOL

Even though I was the one that sought the divorce from my marriage, I was the one who went thorough depression. No meds, just takes time. I know it is strange, but I’m a softie when it comes to dissolving the relationship.

Pro Active:

Tried to see one of my LTRs, but she was under the weather, so no relief there. My other LTR is away so not

Rather than commiserate in my misery. I proceeded to Salsa lesson since I it was already scheduled, along with the ‘social’ to follow. The social is a time to put into practice the new moves we learned during class. Yeah, doing something physical helped me to get out of my head. The social was not as much fun as on previous occasions but it gave me something to do. Yeah, I left sad, but no mopping around.

Monday:

Again rather than staying home & sulk, I sent a PM to a fresh face to our local lair. I read his FR & felt with just a few tweaks, he would be on his way. He did use an opinion opener but did not use any False Time Constraint or Giving a Reason according to his FR. Unfortunately, he felt he crashed-&-burned all 5 of his sets.

We decided to meet up about 6:30 on the tourist beach walk at Starbucks, along with Gamer & Roadrally. RR was having some deep soul searching, so it was great to hook-up with him to talk about his reservations about being in the game & in the process work on his inner game.

Upon our first meeting of Jester, I realized we had a long way to go. He did necessarily use an opinion opener trying to model the Mystery Method, but it was totally random. Oh boy, he was trying to shoot from the cuff without the basics. We later find out he is sort of ADD which explains his nervousness behavior.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, everything can be framed in the positive light. I still remember TommyD, a former Stylelife coach who definitely was ADD. There is something to be said about being ADD in the first 10 minutes of the opening interaction that can carry you through without the awkward silence. Girls when they talk to each other will just throw out random thoughts to each other.

Roadrally leaves us after an hour, so we get something to each & walk the boardwalk. I try to get a feel of Jester & we dissect his FR. I have to reiterate the basics because he is still green & has not done much research. We also have to address some of his limiting beliefs & try to dissuade some of his bad habit when he is in the field.

Unfortunately, we are not doing any approaching, but without some basic pointer, I’m sending him into battle without any amour or weapons. On the way back to the parking we are just leisurely strolling on the sidewalk. We take a break to rest on a low wall for a few minutes.

We all spy an HB9.9 headed toward us, no eye contact, no recognition. She passes us & is about 12 feet beyond us. That is when Gamer runs after her, & pulls up so he is slightly ahead of her and starts talking. Jester looks at me puzzled & blurts out “I thought you never run after a girl”. I just turn to him & say “Well, what did you just see?”

I think this was the break that solidified that Gamer & I knew what we were talking about. After about 4 minutes, Gamer gives her his phone number, but continues walking & talking. We trail them for another 15 minutes, but trying not to be too close we lose them near the beach. We find out later, that he took her to the local Baskin Robins in his car.

Because this “pickup” went so smooth & effortlessly & yes, even I was surprised how well it went, I think it shattered some of Jester limiting beliefs.

Tuesday:

It is my night to go to the local Salsa Club. The first hour was really slow. I thought it was going to be a terrible night. But then, as the social artist, I need to “make my own fun”.

To sum it up, I danced 5 songs in a row. I find the beginners & give them some lessons.

I just have fun.

To sum it up, I first give out an invitation to a free Bachata (Salsa) Lesson to a cute girl that I’ve not seen before, BECAUSE she mentioned she loves Bachata. The second free lesson I give to a fine looking “older” (younger than me) Chinese Women. Hmm not sure why, recently I’ve been attracting all these China Dolls. (LOL) Finally, I give the final two tickets to a university student I met last summer who brought her older sister. I think they call this seeding.

Oh, I didn’t mention that the China Doll doesn’t drive so she wants me to call on Thursday to see if #1 she can attend, #2 if she needs a ride. I do my usual, I don’t normally give out my phone #, but since she didn’t have her phone handy or so she says, she gives me hers.

The lesson here is that if things are not happening the way you want, it is up to you to make things happen. The odds are probably none of them will show up on Thursday. However, the main point is as a male, I have choices. Like Johnny Appleseed, I could plant a thousand seeds & in theory, none would sprout. Or I could plant only one seed & hope that it does take root.

However, my odds do improve the more I sow. And like MJ (Michael Jordan) more than likely, I will probably miss more than .500 of my shots. But the appropriate quote is from Wayne Gretsky about miss 100% of the shots I don’t take.

Wednesday:

Wednesday night is off to another slow start. Jester shows up late. I inform him that most everything I do, I do for a reason. The plan was to arrive before the shopping mall closes in order to take advantage of the foot traffic & / or customers as they leave the stores. Basically day game at night. The first hour is spent talking about the basics as we troll the now empty mall. He does attempt to open a walking single set with no success. So we continue with more coaching.

Gamer texts us that he is at the local arcade that turns into 21 + after 10pm. We head there all the while giving pointers as I drive. We wait in line for longer than I would like, but it was not insufferable. After we exit the cue & enter, I suggest to Jester that the next time while waiting in any line, he engages the people in front of him, the people immediately to the back of him, as well as the doorman, bouncer or other hired gun.

While in line I ask him what is the story behind the cross pendant that he is wearing. He replies that there is no story. Because the line is long, I ask him 10 minutes later, how he happened to choose that particular cross. He then gives me an episode of engaging a conversation with a girl & asking her, her thought on the design. I point out to him that is a wonderful story & that is what I meant by ‘having a story’ ready when a girls notices & queries you on the jewelry.

We connect with Gamer at the bar with his GF & as this is the first time he has met Jester, the engage in a dialogue. On the side, I occupy his GF & “politely” game her, as a quick demo to kino, using body language, voice projection & not ‘pecking’. I have no intentions of her but just to demonstrate to Jester to be more intimate with strangers.

We depart from Gamer & his main squeeze. I ask Jester how many more sets does he want to open. He responds with 2 here & 2 at another bar.

An older lady, asks us if we were on the ‘token sweeper’ machine. This game is similar to ones you see in Las Vegas with quarters instead of tokens. Her daughter is on an adjacent similar machine. I open the daughter, then Jester comes over. I leave them him to engage her, while I occupy the mom. After a few minutes, he stalls & runs out of things to say. Not much to learn from this encounter.

We pass or about to pass a four-set playing on a Deal-or-No-Deal arcade game. He opens the set with an opinion opener that we decide upon. Prior to this I pounded the point of the False Time Constraint & the Reason for asking. Yes, it is the classic: “Who Lies More?” One of the girls, drifts off to the side of the machine, but he continues to engage the other three. He does talk more to the female that is right next to him, but I think that would be considered only normal group dynamics.

After about 10 minutes, a guy shows up that apparently is a part of the group. Later, I point out to Jester that he could or should have engaged the guy as soon as he appeared. However, the dude was cool & did not AMOG him. Both of them are standing side-by-side with there hands crossed over their chests, as if discussing the merit of the game. The convo actually becomes quite extended & the girls what I can best describe as ‘huddled’ for a bit, but came back as the hovered near the pair.

I’m about 10 feet away as to not to seem to be starring. I do ‘play’ with my cell phone & appear to be pre-occupied texting & stuff. I don’t hear the all the actually speaking but all the Body Language were positive or appeared to be neutral. After about 20 minutes or perhaps longer, he bids adieu to the now 5-set. I congratulate him of staying in set & to remember what he did to stay in the set, while the only minor tweak of introducing yourself to any new person that enters the group.

So far, looks encouraging.

We head off to my favorite local pub for a night cap of Diet Coke. However, sometimes the crowd can be sparse on week nights. We plant ourselves at an intersection, to be along the traffic lanes. We talk some more & as I look down the aisle I spy at least 4 different groups that are approachable on the route to the restroom. I tell Jester, to stride but not rush to the men’s room & on the way back open any of the sets he chooses.

Well, on the way back he encounters pre-wedding party party. He does stay on the corner & doesn’t circulate. He could have ‘high-fived’ everyone or congratulated the lucky couple by giving her a hug, etc. (Note to self: need to work on Kino) However, the super positive is that Jester stays in set at least a good 20 minutes, or maybe even a ½ an hour. He doesn’t get blown out, he doesn’t eject.

What a difference from the guy I met on Sunday & I tell him so. I realize I may have inundated him with a lot of knowledge but I do go over the rudiments of winging, which perhaps we will try next time he is in a set. He can use me or dismiss me depending upon if he feels he has reached a hook point.

The other exciting development is that Jester signed up for a PSY seminar over the weekend. It not inexpensive, but I think any self-development, self-awareness class would do wonders for his inner game.

I realize that probably for him the best modalities to sarge would be the higher energy venues, such as clubs & pubs. His probably ADDness lends itself perfectly to casual chit-chat, while his inherent body movements do not lend itself to low-energy day game. Well, not yet anyway.

The best part is that I think Jester realizes the improvement & feels the flush of success. And with success comes, a newfound confidence; which allows self-esteem to thrive. How good can he get? I don’t see him as a natural, but like all of us, we are the only ones that are limiting ourselves.

As you can tell, I love coach. My goal is to be a player / coach. So as in this case, as Jester improves, I have to push myself to also improve, & as I teach, I also learn. One of those “win / win” situations where everyone benefits. Not the least of which there will be one less AFC in the world.

To be continued . . .

Peace,
Menace

Addendum: I think part of the success with Jester was that I allowed him to choose which set HE wanted to open. In his case, giving him the choice who to open was something I need to consider as I coach other guys. I realize that setting the parameters -- "choose one of the 4 groups" didn't allow him to wiggle out, but which ever party he felt an affinity to might be a useful technique. Rather than saying almost random: "Open that set to the left".

AK's Field Report for July 8 '09

2009-07-08T14:53:00.000-10:00

Well, TD girl's being a bit flaky although she is still responding (not answering her phone, but writing me on BB messenger). Hopefully at least she'll clean her voicemail up so I can leave her a message, although she's got one last try left, and I'm giving up on her (1 call per day for up to 3 days, and I try no longer, even though I have asked her to call me back twice now; equivalent to leaving a voicemail each time).

Regardless, I had a date with Guelph Girl yesterday, and Frank's advice to walk like King & Queen down the street I think worked rather well. I don't think I performed it as well as I could've (as I didn't for instance take her out as soon as she came in as I had a few small things to finish around my place, and I did kiss her a bit here and there), yet she still seemed rather impressed. She told me that she went from wanting to me needing me, after questioning me what I was up to in the evening while we were lying on my futon :-/ Hehe, if that was a test, I'm rather confused, but it's all good as they say :-D BTW, she told me the wanting vs. needing thing in the morning and the question as to what I was up to was before that in the evening/night.

So yesterday I didn't get a chance to go out and make my minimum of 1 approach. Today however I did my 1 approach even though I was very, very tired. In fact, I think I'm going to bed as soon as I'm done this FR.

The approach itself was pretty good, however the follow-up went nowhere, although the woman wasn't quite giving me very much to work on either. So that along with the combo of me having been so tired didn't end up making it go anywhere but oh well. Fun experience none-the-less.

It really makes me regret that I didn't start making this kind of direct approaches sooner. It seems that if I do it right, EN7 being violated goes out the window as she knows why I'm talking to her. I like stopping her before I do it as well, which I've noticed actually seems to also help. Ah, all the mistakes I've made before I took my more or less "involuntary" break :-D Lovin' it.

I pushed myself to make the approach as tired as I was and I'm glad I did.

Queen St - July 8 '09

I was walking down the street and I saw a girl pushing a bicycle as she was walking beside it on the sidewalk. I stopped her with my hand in front of her but without making any physical contact (btw I opened the same way on Monday as well) while saying "Excuse me." Then I gave her my opener in a nice, calm, slow, relaxed manner. She loved it.

The only prob I find with my interaction there however was that I didn't work hard enough in respect to leading/escalating. She was just standing there waiting for me to talk. I asked how her day way going, and she replied "rather well." I told her that this was better than "good" although still not up to par in respect to my standards as I set my bar at "great." Then, I asked her what she was up to and she responded that she was going to a gallery, I believe. I asked if it was for work and she said yes. Then I asked her what kind of work she did, and she responded "art." I believe she added another word, but I was regardless really finding it difficult to keep building on this convo as she was practically putting nothing into it. I slowly started moving away and she started walking away while thanking me [for the compliment]. I wished her a great day and moved on.

Just like on Mon, this empowered me to keep going, however I was so tired, that I lost the urge pretty quickly. I decided to go home and rest instead.

Bicycle girl ENA

EN1:
-addressed
--direct opener showing her why I'm talking to her, and considering it included a compliment, it'd make her think that I'd show her in good light if I were to talk about her to others as well

EN2:
-addressed
--from potential surprise as I stopped her to curiosity as to where this was going to go, to pleasure in being complimented, she got a fair range

EN3:
-neutral

EN4:
-addressed
--I took a hold of the situation from the get-go by stopping her the way I did and then attempting to lead the conversation. Unfortunately I could only take it so far with the minimal amount of participation she provided on top of my tired state

EN5:
-addressed
--I made her feel special by complimenting her on her looks (while also using it as the reason for talking to her)

EN6:
-addressed
--again, the direct opener showed her I was ready to be honest with her from the get-go (a bit weak for this EN as I'm starting to see little reason for her to get ticked off for being complimented, but I think it's better than nothing :-) )

EN7:
-addressed
--the fact that she knew why I stopped her to talk to her from the get-go gave her comfort in safety as she knew what was going on from the beginning of the interaction

EN8:
-neutral
--wow; I didn't escalate as well with this one (not even as much as a handshake/intro :-o). I am going to start making escalating a bar minimum for my approaches, however I need to start working on things one at a time

EN9:
-addressed
--I definitely addressed enough ENs for that
--if I have the guts to approach a cute girl and especially in the manner that I did, I must be good with girls in her head

EN10:
-neutral

Again, I see nothing violated, and most were addressed. I'm pretty happy with the way this is going. Just need to start building on it, and I'll soon be golden (at least in respect to the recruitment, can probably still use some work on my date skills, although I think that I'll do quite a bit better now than I used to for a few reasons*)

*These reasons include the fact that last night when I was hanging out with Guelph Girl, I was so tired that I was starting to lose my vision and of course my thinking skills were definitely not up to par. I noticed that I was doing pretty well without thinking much about it. Sure, I made a mistake here and there, but all-in-all, I think that I'm starting to master the skills I need in order to keep women around. I'm definitely proud of myself :-D

AK's Field Report for July 6 '09

2009-07-06T16:37:00.000-10:00

Shit, what insanity! I was definitely losing it this week-end, and basically all for nothing. Indeed, I have fallen for this girl WAAAAAAAY too deep. I really urgently need to start laying more girls, 'cause regardless of what happens with Guelph Girl, I can't let myself feel the way I felt).

In short, I was feeling like it was over and the suspense of finding out whether or not it was was killing me. I finally ended up calling her earlier than I had planned to and got her voicemail, where I left her a message. I then waited a while for a response and ended up msging her on BB messenger with one word, "Flying?" She never read the msg before calling (BB messenger's handy to show you this stuff). Anyhow, she ended up calling me, we set up plans for this week, and all the worries went away like magic.

I truly can't have this. I know she's seeing other guys, so I bet she isn't as deeply into me as I am into her, and I need to fix that. With that, here is my FR with my first approach in over a month :-o

Queen St - July 6 '09

I truly love this city with all my heart :-D I don't care if chicks might be flakier or whatever, it's definitely got a ton of "targets" and I'm sure I can find ones that I can get along with.

Went out with the minimum of 1 approach in mind and a goal of 5. Ended up making 4, with each one learning something about myself that it almost seems like I had forgotten :-D The results were insane for the rustiness of game I was playing.

The first girl talking to me and then slowly started walking away. I figured I ran my direct opener on her with a way too fast-paced speech. End end result I figured was a definitely violation of EN7, so I was trying to figure out what to do to counter-act this in the future. I even started doing an ENA as I was walking, but stopped as I saw another cutie.

The next one, I made absolutely blew my mind in respect to how much she was into me. Ran my opened nice and smoothly, and it seemed like she was hooked. She was physically almost cornered, but she ended up telling me she'll give me her number. The way it went was we spoke for a bit, I introduced myself shaking her hand, and then when I found out she was headed to meet a friend, I told her she was pretty cool and we should hang out sometime. She replied with something to the affect of, "I'm busy now, but I'll give you my number." I took my phone out, and she said, "Nice choice in phone," as she showed me hers which was EXACTLY the same model (same colour and all) :-D I can't believe I didn't tell her that we had so much in common, but that's all an effect of the rustiness. I ended up SMSing myself her Crackberry PIN so that way I got her number, got her PIN so I could add her to BB messenger, and she had my number since I used it to SMS myself with. It was perfect :-D I guess I would've got bonus points had I actually shown her how to do it, but she seemed to be in a hurry and really confused. Oh well, I'm learning from my mistakes quickly :-D

The next girl really got blown away by my opener. She couldn't believe that I complimented her in the way I did. So much so that even as she was initially backing up slowly bit by bit, she ended up taking her hand out to shake mine. It was really weird, 'cause it seemed like she wasn't sure whether she could trust me or something. Kinda like petting a dog you've just found on the street as you're unsure as to whether or not it's friendly, I guess :-D That interaction didn't go too far, and of course my rustiness didn't help at all. I gave her a hug after she told me that she had to break her meeting with her bf to go home to supposedly make her feel better. I was going to try getting her number, but I extended it way too long.

The fourth also really enjoyed my direct complimenting opener, however she said that she was in a hurry to get home, so she didn't stick around very long to chat.

It's been so longer, I didn't even really think about giving them names too much, but I'll call the 2nd one TD girl as if I run this well, the interaction could very likely go somewhere :-D

Before I do my ENA, I wanted to state a few things I've decided to do:
-minimum of 1 approach per day, goal of 5
-taking care of myself comes first, so if I need sleep and am about to fall over, need to do something about it as opposed to over-pushing myself
-when I get a girl's number, I am to idealy set up the date on the spot, but if I don't, I have to call her the next day w/ no exception (making a reminder on my phone as soon as I get her number for the following day to call her)

TD girl ENA

I'm very quickly running low on time, so I'm going to do a quick ENA of the girl I think I did the best with to see if I can figure out how it turned out so well or if it was mainly passive value (even though I've gone back to dressing the way I did before I redid my closet, and have a pretty boring haircut :-D).

EN1:
-addressed
--considering I told her she looked so damned cute, she'd assume I'd present her in good light to others as well, especially considering I said it so calmly and slowly

EN2:
-addressed
--once she heard how I told her she was so damned cute, she was curious as to what would come next, excited about what had just happened, etc.

EN3:
-neutral
--this one I probably should've gone for one of my good old "aww, you've had a long day? Come here, I'll give you a hug and make it all better" (I've never actually said it quite this way, but I think it's more dominant than the way I typically do it)

EN4:
-addressed
--from the direct opener to leading into the future "hang-out," I think that this one was pretty well done

EN5:
-addressed
--again, I made her feel special by calling her so damned cute
--also by suggesting we hang out, in her mind it's likely a good sign I actually wanna hang out, and not just screw her and leave her

EN6:
-addressed
--by telling her that I just had to talk to her 'cause she was so damned cute, I was honest as to why I was talking to her from the get-go regardless of whether or not this might've ticked her off (assuming she does get approached since she was indeed rather cute)

EN7:
-neutral
--Hmm, I have the feeling I must have somehow addressed it considering she had no prob practically throwing her number at me as well as allowing me to SMS myself her PIN using her Crackberry (then again, I don't typically all that haven't much resistance with the 2nd one in the past)

EN8:
-neutral
--OK, I've got to start escalating slowly but surely until I get some resistance. I was actually thinking about this while I was walking down the street after my first approach, where I remembered I made a list as FMG homework in respect to each level of intimacy, and I need to memorize that list. So that'll be my next goal I have more time; to go start escalating as per that list I made as see how far I can get within each interaction before I get resistance (ping tests I guess, you could call it)

EN9:
-addressed
--I definitely addressed enough ENs for that
--if I have the guts to approach a cute girl and especially in the manner that I did, I must be good with girls in her head

EN10:
-neutral

Hmm, well unless I missed something, I can't see one EN that I violated, at least. I'm definitely proud of myself for that, and tomorrow I will go grocery shopping during my break and push myself to make an approach at the store, since I should be meeting with Guelph Girl after work :-D

80 / 20 (or 5 / 95)

2009-07-05T12:54:00.003-10:00

Hey Guys - Just to clarify.

The focus is to FOCUS on spending your (my) time on what is most productive.

With the 80 / 20 rule:
If on a weekly basis, you have a list of 100 things to do, focus your valuable time on the on the top 20 items.

An example with the 5 /95 rule:
If today you have 10 things to do, make the very most important task first. Don't get side tracked with surfing the web, answering email, etc., etc.

In other words:
"First Things First, Second Things -- not at all"

Best regards,
Menace

AK's Status Update

2009-07-04T20:31:00.004-10:00

So what have I been up to... I've been mainly focusing on doing Frank's Men's Group (FMG) homework lately while seeing one girl on a regular basis who has been ranked in my harem girl criteria level (or step on my criteria ladder, as I like to call it).

What this has all amounted to is I was slowly going out less and less while seeing her. She's been seeing other guys and I've been seeing other girls, so no prob there. In fact, she's been so amazing that she'd basically encourage me to go out when we weren't hanging out together and what-not.

So the last time we hung out mid last week, she mentioned that she's had intimacy issues since she was 5 and because of this she has always avoided the guys she's had a crush on. Interestingly enough she has previously claimed that she was insanely needing sex when we met, so
the only thing I could've done to have messed up my chances of laying her when we met was to have tried doing something sweet (meaning something related to commitment). It was what I did to address her ENs however that kept her around.

She msged me after that last time we hung out saying I was the perfect man. Interestingly enough, I just so happened to basically trick her into being with me the way it turned out since my attraction skills weren't quite the best then (not that they're much better now). She
ends up msging me saying that she is suspecting her fight or flight mechanism to engage in the near future or if it doesn't that I should run. I responded that whatever happened, I'd take care of it. Of course, I got a very strongly positive response to that since it addressed one of her main ENs.

Now this is a really interesting combo of events. Reason being is because at the same time she encouraged me to start going out again which I definitely need to do regardless of whether or not I continue seeing her. Also, if we indeed stop seeing one another, I really need to find a girl to lay, as it would help my healing process go that much smoother.

It's funny how when I met her I was a bit obsessed with another girl, and this one was the perfect cure. I've learned tons from her, and she is bar none the most amazing girl I've met by far. I've learned not too long ago that there's nothing that attracts me more to a girl than
the amount/kind of respect she gives me. Interestingly enough, it only got better the more I got to know her with this one :-o

I know that she has told me more than once that if I were to be breaking it off with her that she'd expect me to do so in person. I'm hoping she'd do the same.

In respect to dealing with her assuming we hang out again, I will ask her if she feels she needs help dealing with her intimacy issue(s). If not, I will see how much further we can take our interaction or if need be, I'll end it if that's in our best interest. Being a man definitely isn't the easiest thing out there, but it is my job, so while I continue working on being the best I can be, I'll still do what I can to do my job.

Aside from that in respect to my game, I am definitely going to start going out more often (will aim for at least 1 forced approach per day). If I'm seeing her, I might try setting up a threesome with her so we could make approaches together and see how far that goes :-D Of course, will also continue doing my FMG homework, going to FMG classes regularly, and working out. I had missed a few weeks of going to the gym because of work, but I have started getting back in the groove, so I should be alright :-)

So let's make this the beginning of yet another long FR trend as it were back in the day. Will be including my ENAs which I also haven't done in a while within my FRs.

With this; to many many more LRs :-D

Half - Year Resolutions

2009-07-04T14:51:00.002-10:00

Hey Guys –

It just hit me the other day that ½ of 2009 has come & gone. It has been a whirlwind year with lots of good things going on.

The two questions I ask myself are:

1) Am I happy? YES

2) Am I where I want to be? NO

This in itself should be enough motivation for the non-Beta male. However, we all have our shortcomings, thus old habits are hard to break.

One of the reasons, I haven’t been posting is I’ve been transitioning to the 80 / 20 rule. In business, a rule of thumb in business is "80% of your sales come from 20% of your products." Therefore, your efforts in retail, is to make insure you always stock the 20% of the most profitable merchandise.

This was illustrated in at MT1 &/or 2, where 80 / 20 rule applies to your time which should be spent on what gives you the maximum results (the 80%). In other words, 80% of my time should be in field & say 20% of my efforts on the computer, posting FRs.

Now to turbo-charge any effort, be it pick-up or otherwise, David DeAngelo shared the 5 / 95 rule. This is where geniuses spend all their time on the 5% of “stuff” that give them 95% of what they what to achieve. If you wanted to be a video game-master, it behooves one to spend all day & all night in front of the monitor. The problem is I think they have a name for that – I think this describes someone with an addiction. OR if I wanted to become really good on guitar, I could lock myself in my room & just practice and practice with just enough time to eat & sleep. Yes, I would get really good, but them I’d be a social recluse.

I think what we can take from the 5 /95 rule is to apply it to projects. When we need to focus on an activity, this is powerful, rather than dissipate all the energy, which could lead to NOT accomplishing anything. As I stated above, this led to getting off of the computer & out into the field. Unfortunately, I don’t post as much as before.

As I remarked before, if I didn’t have to work, I could work on my social development full-time. LOL However, this is where the ‘real’ social artists will achieve inspite of all the challenges & time constraints.

Peace,
Menace

AK's Stuggles - Perfectionism/Planning

2009-06-09T07:30:00.003-10:00

Mainly Avoiding Gaming Lately

I've been falling behind on approaches per se and talking to new girls is practically starting to become a foreign concept. I have some issues I'd like to deal with before I go back to approaching, however. Or at least going out with the sole reason of approaching.

Sure, I've made some minor approaches in the elevator, but without attempting to close the deal (or at least head as far in the direction of closing it as I can get anyways), I don't consider that to be much of a legit approach.

I have been labeled a perfectionist, and I feel that this is very likely true. I am currently seeing at least one girl on a regular basis, and she is by far with no doubt the most amazing girl I've ever met. I met her during night game which to me is a bit odd she's in my mind the exception to the rule of night game girls being rather messed up.

With an amazing girl comes amazing insight. What that entails is the way she actually sees things from what seems like an outsider's perspective. She has convinced me that when we met, she was so into getting laid that I would've even been better off not doing anything active value-wise as that would've reduced my chances under normal circumstances, however the only thing I could've done wrong was trying to be too nice as in a dude who's looking to get married to not have been able to have pulled her. She says that it is however with my active value that I keep her around, which I can definitely attest to.

So what this means to me is that she noticed violated ENs more than addressed ones at the time, however the addressed ones definitely kept her in the mindset that she wanted me around.

Now as for what I see specifically is currently really hurting me:

I haven't been completing my FMG homework, which I keep on trying to make plans to complete. I've been going to the gym on and off therefore not as often as I'd want to, although that specifically isn't a huge issue to me. In respect to even completing tasks in general, I seem to be having trouble planning it all out. I've tried writing it all out and making a goal to complete one from each list per day (2 lists, one for big things that would generally need to be done once in a fair while or once in general, and 1 with smaller things that need to be done on a repeated basis).

So my initiative is basically there but getting myself to accomplish things within it is not. I need to work on my perfectionism to start. I wonder if that might be the root of my problems.

AK's Field Report for May 6 '09 + Two-set From Last Sat Update

2009-05-06T18:46:00.000-10:00

Went out today with a mindset of making a minimum of 1 approach and a goal of 5. I ended up reaching my goal.

Unfortunately I haven't been making the min of 1 approach per day or staying away from my notebook when I haven't made my min. I have been keep from wandering off into the web the way I used to though, which has been helping me to a point in avoiding spending too much time on my computer that could be spent being productive doing other things (although I did end up watching a movie last night before going to bed... I guess I need my relaxation time every now and then :-/).

Mall Game FR - May 6 '09

Either way, my first 4 approaches today didn't go very well at all. The first one rolled her eyes at my opener of "I just had to talk to her because you're so friggen cute." I realized a little bit later that this was most likely an EN6 test to see if I'd confront her, but instead I told her she seemed to be in a weird mood. This is why I need to practice identifying ENs as while I can do it every now and then, I can't quite always do it on the spot at this point.

The middle 3 approaches were all "I have a boyfriend"s without really giving me the chance to respond :-( I think I need to make sure I have my answer quickly, but on the other hand I think even before I can do that, I need to figure out what EN they're expressing by doing it judging by how they do it. I believe 2 of them checked me out right before saying it. Perhaps it had something to do with my body language and therefore it was EN7? :-/

BTW each of the first 4 approaches I made were moving targets and I stopped each one before making the approach which I've started doing recently.

Hired Gun Girl

I didn't pay attention to what kiosk this girl was working at but I just noticed that she was rather cute and decided to make my final approach different by approaching a hired gun.

She practically seemed blown away by my opener (telling her how I just had to tell her she was so damned cute). She however had a customer that was about to pay, so after thanking me, she asked me to hold on a second. She had her customer pay and then went back to swallowing my frame up for brunch.

I went with my typical "how's your day going" and she went from "pretty good" to "very well" to "great." I of course took credit for getting her from "pretty good" to "great." I found out she worked at this kiosk 7 days a week from 10-9 and basically had no life. This kind of explained why she was so blown away by the opener, since considering she doesn't seem to have much of a social life, she's glad someone actually stepped up and attempted to invite her into his social life.

I ended up getting her number and even the nicely original spelling of her name which she showed me that she was wearing on a piece of jewelery.

So tomorrow I will call her and depending on whether or not I end up making plans with the two-set I met last Sat night (more details about them below), I will attempt to make plans with her for that evening after work.

Here comes the ENA:
EN1:
addressed
-considering from what I got out of her she didn't seem to have much of a life, being approached by a guy and with the kind of direct opener I gave her at that, definitely made her feel like she was attractive enough to be approached and therefore that would make her feel like she's attractive to the rest of the world
EN2:
addressed
-my usual "how's your day going" got her from bored, to excited, then when I talked about a specific movie related to where I'm originally from etc., made her more curious
EN3:
addressed
-eventually told her we should see the movie that I was talking to her about because it was very inspirational, therefore allowing her to be the little girl that goes on the adventure of inspiration and learnings :-D
EN4:
addressed
-lead the conversation from beginning to end including getting her number
EN5:
addressed
-told her we should see the movie I talked about together and also as I was walking away, told her we'd talk soon
EN6:
addressed
-at the very least the direct opener risked to tick her off with my honesty
-also as part of my "how's your day going" routine, I confronted her about just being "pretty good" which also risked ticking her off
-she said she liked me rosary which I told her that it wasn't real (again risking to tick her off or deceiving her for mentioning I'm wearing something that's not real)
EN7:
addressed
-I think that just based on my body language, I made her feel safe
-plus the way I lead the conversation rather well, she knew that I could handle myself :-D
EN8:
addressed
-if I could handle a girl who appeared like she didn't have much experience, then I could very likely handle anything (again judging based on the fact that she seemed to be communicating that she didn't have a life outside of her work)
EN9:
addressed
-since so many (or so far all of them, actually) of the rest of the ENs were addressed, this one's automatically addressed (a man who can address that many ENs in her mind is definitely attractive to other women)
EN10:
addressed
-I kinod her here and there and ended the interaction with a hug

Wow, I can't believe I actually addressed all 10 :-o I hope I'm not over-hyping my analysis just because I felt it went so well (although I already know that even a direct opener on its own addresses all 10 ENs as per Frank's ENA workbook :-D).

Two-Set From Last Sat

Speaking of that two-set, I believe I blew myself out with them in an SMS. What I did was I told her that she'd find out more about me being original if she were to earn my time, which made me seem that much less attainable, assuming that was an issue. I guess I'll be able to tell for sure tomorrow when I give her another call :-)

Why did you start pickup?

2009-05-03T22:23:00.001-10:00

I was wondering people's reasons.

I found a quote in an article that is one of my reasons:

"The world is filled with all these beautiful women that you can't have. They dress all sexy, showing their cleavage and neathage and buttage and flashing their underwear and just taunting you, dude."

http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_...mpaign=tmuscle

Also the self improvement stuff is cool also.

I think that the quote pretty much says my main reason though.

AK's Guelph Girl Fuck-Up Epiphany

2009-05-03T21:14:00.001-10:00

Guelph Girl Fuck-Up Epiphany :-o

Wow! I've been going through I'm a Man That's My Job and I just got to the exercise where I'm expected to define my criteria categories, and I started practically beating myself in the head with my book :-o Had I read this category previous to last week-end, there's no way what-so-ever that I would've fucked myself over the way I did. Fortunately for me, this girl is not like most girls where she'd just start ignoring me on the smallest fuck-up :-D

See, when I initially wrote out my criteria, I was under the relationship criteria categories were basically set in stone, give and take a few. Now that I've read this part of the book, I know that they are to be defined by me. I knew that Frank was all about customizing, but it's just that the way I was exposed to this idea from the get-go, I was under the impression that the categories were there and I just needed to fill them out :-(

Oh well, now I know, and I am now going to fix up my categories to avoid any future fuck-ups :-D

AK's Field Reports for May 2&3 '09 + Guelph Girl Update

2009-05-03T20:23:00.001-10:00

Hmm, I've been meaning to write out a few FRs and I could never seem to get myself to 'til now, so here I am :-D

I also noticed a previous post I made regarding my sarge last week with the Suzy Shier girl. I ended up getting a voicemail when I tried calling her the next day and for some reason I haven't tried calling her again. Perhaps I'll try calling her once again just to see if at the very least it's her real number, but from what it seems, that's not going anywhere. Meh :-)

I was initially going to write about another sarge I attempted while waiting for my elevator, but due to the fact that it was both too long ago (mid last-week), plus the fact that it didn't go very far (just like my previous sarges in my building have been going), I'm going to skip it and get into the last few days.

Mall/Festival/Night Day Game FR - May 2 '09

I was hoping to make some approaches on my way to the mall, but I didn't end up making any. Oddly enough, I've started feeling less and less of an urge to attract a fair amount of the girls I see (almost like it seems like my attraction is getting more narrow; could I be developing some sort of sub-conscious targeting skill? :-/).

None of my approaches that I did end up making at the mall or at the Festival ended up going anywhere, so I'm going to spare the ENAs for them :-) I'll save the ENA(s) for the night game.

Andy Pool Hall Night Game

So I decided to join Nitro and a few other guys and Andy Pool Hall which conveniently enough has I believe 8 unisex washroom stalls which are basically separated from the rest of the venue. I think I should try going back there, although at the same time Nitro had noticed that a number of the girls he had already approached on previous nights were going back to him, so if it's a rather "regulars" type of place, then I don't see it being very efficient :-/ Guess I'll see, 'cause on the other hand I could end up treating it more-so like social circle type of game.

Anyhow, I started out there by approaching smaller sets. In fact, I got there pretty early and there was practically no one there at that time. I made conversation with a bunch of people there and it was pretty fun. I was pretty tired from earlier during the day, but I was still kicking.

In fact, when the place got busier, it made me realise how much I had forgotten how fast-paced night game typically is :-o It was interesting to say the least, however my night game skills were nowhere near where they needed to be :-(

Either way, at one point Dave ended up bringing a girl to me telling her she needs to fill out a form in order to apply for laying me. That started the convo out pretty interestingly especially considering she was following along. She wasn't all that attractive, but the frame was pretty fun, so I decided to go along with it anyways. I ended up blowing myself out and she took her friend along who Nitro was gaming pretty well. The blow-out came from her thanking me for something to which I responded "Pleasure's all mine." I follow that up by telling her how I always enjoy bringing pleasure to people around me, which ended up setting her off, telling me she's tired of this whole "sex talk thing" :-o I made it worse by making some comment which made her look bad (can't remember exactly what I said), and it only went down-hill from there. I think most of the reasoning behind that was that I was very tired, and when I'm that tired, I tend to make even worse mistakes than usual :-/ Considering I can't remember exactly what I told her after she told me she was tired of the whole "sex talk thing" (which btw was a mis-interpretation of what I meant with my "pleasure" comment, but meh), I'm not going to do an ENA on this one even though it very likely would've been a good way to figure out what she was expressing. Plus I wasn't all that attracted to her from the get-go, so screw that. Hmm, almost seems like I'm making excuses not to do ENAs, however I'm definitely going to do at least two within this post :-D

On the Way Home Night Game

That whole day & night, I was having insane amounts of AA going on which I really wasn't enjoying. As I was walking to my car from Andy Pool Hall when I had decided to call it a night, I saw a really cute two-set. I decided to try talking to them. They seemed really friendly and definitely hooked. As opposed to my usual "How's your night going" opener, I started with "How are you guys doing?" I ended up using my usual come-back to it though, after they responded that they were doing "good." They ended up correcting themselves after I confronted them about only doing "good" as is part of my latest routine, by saying they were "great" and what-not. I of course took credit for them going from "good" to "great" in less than a min :-D

I told them I didn't do handshakes but only hugs and I hugged them both. They were both pretty distant although one was a bit closer than the other.

I asked which direction they were going to see if I could perhaps game them a bit more if they lived in my direction while giving them a ride, however they weren't going in my direction and they were headed home to one of their places. So I ended up telling them they seemed pretty cool, to which they responded really enthusiastically that they really were (didn't seem overly enthusiastically from the tone of their voices, btw).

I ended up getting one of them to call my cell so that we could exchange numbers and at the same time got her to turn her speakerphone on so that we could listen to my caller ring tune. They tried figuring out who the artist was after thinking I was going to show them "just how cool I was" with my ring tone which I ended up muting since there's nothing special about it :-D Either way, one of them said she had to get home as her parents would get upset with her.

Before they left, I got them for another group-hug to say "bye" and the one that was a bit closer seemed a tad closer still, yet the other one still seemed rather distant, although they still both came in for the hug :-/

I ended up calling the one whose number I got today (Sunday) and she seemed to be up for hanging, however she seemed to also want to bring her friend along. I asked if her friend was visiting her, and she replied that she wasn't and that her friend lived in Toronto as well :-/ I then tried making plans for Monday night (following night) and she said she wasn't sure yet if they were doing anything. I confronted her about not being too good at making solid plans, and she agreed. I told her I'd call her back on Monday to see if she was still up for hanging.

Now that I'm thinking about it though, it almost sounds like she wants to make potential plans unless something better comes along, so I'm very likely not going to try gaming these two as hard as initially planned. Then again, if I get a date with the two gals, I'll most likely take 'em to my place and see how far we can take it :-D

Ahh, it's finally ENA time:

EN1
-addressed
--I treated the two of them with equal amount of respect as opposed to gaming one more than the other to the point where I told them that we should hang again (as in the 3 of us, which btw could very likely explain why the girl I called is assuming I want to make plans for the 3 of us :-D)
EN2
-addressed
--of course, going from "good" to "great" or whatever word they used is bound to bring a few emotions (as well as the hugging for that matter)
--just to make sure I have at least two: excited (about getting their moods improved if you will), curious (what's next?), scared (that they'll be home too late)
EN3
-neutral
EN4
-addressed
--took ownership over changing their mood (from "good" to "great" or whatever it was :-D)
EN5
-addressed
--told them they both seemed pretty cool and that we should hang out sometime
EN6
-neutral (border-line violated :-o)
--I walked a bit of a safe line for this one, calling them "cool," as opposed to saying something more direct such as calling them "cute"
--I can't at the very least think of anything I did within that interaction where I could've pissed them off with the truth (aside perhaps where I work which kind of has a bad rep, although what I do kind of trumps that :-/)
EN7
-addressed
--I told them where I was going plus my body language over-all was pretty good in not being overly in their face and what-not
--although they weren't very big on the hug I attempted to give them, they still came towards me in my arms when I spread them telling them that I don't do handshakes, but only hugs
EN8
-neutral
EN9
-addressed
--what I do for a living definitely addresses this one, which they asked me about and I told them
EN10
-neutral

Hmm, 6 addressed, 1 border-line violated, and 3 neutral. Not bad, I'd think :-)

Nathan Phillips Square (NPS) Day Game FR - May 3 '09

Hmm, this just reminded me of an ENA I had meant to do for my previous FR, but since it was so long ago, I think I'll just let it go :-)

Anyhow, I'm only going to go in detail on one interaction I made today, as it was very interesting how it unfolded.

What happened was I was hanging with Shhhguy and we ended up going to Nathan Phillips Square (NPS) where there were a lot of people with some kind of a foreign flag in the air and what-not. We wanted to see what was going on and also see if there was anything worth approaching over there.

As we were walking at NPS, Shhhguy saw a girl walk by us and started pushing me to approach her. I hadn't even noticed her, so I wasn't sure what he was referring to at first. When he pointed her out, I began speed-walking towards her. When I caught up to her, I stopped her with my body-language accompanied by a "Excuse me, I just had to tell you something" (credit Waldo). I then went direct saying, "I just had to talk to you 'cause you're so..damned..cute." She seemed to really enjoy the complement, thanking me for it. I then asked her how her day's going.

The gaming seemed rather decent, however she refused to give me her number and said she would only take mine and give me a call. I told her that I needed her number in order to be able to lead the interaction, as it's my responsibility as a man. She said that she'd initially call me and I could lead the rest of the way. I literally told her that I needed to set the frame as the leader of the interactions from the get-go, otherwise it wouldn't work. She still refused to give me her number and thanked me for coming up to her and complementing her, and then walked away. I wasn't quite sure why she wouldn't give me her number. Perhaps a trusty old ENA would be able to answer my q, so here it goes:

EN1
-neutral
--although there was some crazy person that was rather closely observing the entire thing and the girl I was talking to even got distracted at some point looking at the crazy person, I don't believe that she rather cared what the crazy person thought :-/
--I also had not prob with her answering a call from a friend she was on her way to meet
EN2
-addressed
--the usual "how's your day going" routine did it's typicaly trick: bored (assuming her initial emotion), excited (opened direct and told her she's cute), happy (being seen as cute)
EN3
-neutral
EN4
-addressed
--told her how I always lead my interactions with people and ended up refusing to give her my number unless we either swapped or alternatively if she just gave me hers
EN5
-addressed
--told her how we had the same BlackBerry even though mine was sitting at home since due to my job I had to use the phone I was currently using (told her we have so much in common due to having the same BlackBerry)
-violated
--mentioned how someone I was speaking to the previous day was afraid that I might have the swine flu and therefore wouldn't shake my hand after shaking hands with her and she had no issues with it (so basically telling her that I make approaches on a regular basis :-/)
EN6
-addressed
--was willing to tick her off by not giving her my phone number without having her number
EN7
-potentially violated
--didn't seem to be much of a concern for her unless she was concerned for what the crazy person might do, and since I didn't do anything to show I'd protect her from the crazy person, it just might have been violated :-/
EN8
-neutral
EN9
-addressed
--since I wasn't afraid to ler her go without giving her my number, I must have other girls who are into me as I wasn't desperate to have her interaction
-violated
--also the swine flu thing I mentioned for EN5's violation violated this one because it makes it seem like I am not attractive enough to risk getting the swine flu from other women :-/
EN10
-neutral

The Sum:
4 addressed
1 potentially violated
2 violated
4 neutral

Hmm, almost seems like I was in the emotional cookie man category with this one, based on the sum :-o I believe that that would very likely explain it :-)

Guelph Girl Update

Now this girl is still hands down the most amazing girl I've met so far.

Last week-end she ended up telling me how she figured out what was wrong with her, and when I asked what it was, she responded that it was me. When I asked her what she meant, she told me that she had never met anyone at the level she's at or even higher (to my understanding she was referring to the level of game, if you will).

I however did violate ENs 4 & 5 really badly, and she tested me for EN5 even more later on during the week. What happened was I've told her about my different criteria which I based the different levels of relationship on (my "relationship ladder" as I call it). I've also told her the 2-3 points that she doesn't meet at this point in order to have met all of them to the top. She knew that I considered our relationship as fuck buddies, so I told her that I felt she's up for an upgrade to non-exclusive girlfriend. After thinking about it a bit, I realized that I wasn't ready to commit to a girlfriend yet, even if we were not being exclusive (considering to my understanding, I could still only have 1). So I basically demoted her to mid-level between fuck buddy and non-exclusive girlfriend since what we do seem to be beyond fuck buddies as we go out to do things together, we hold hands while walking on the street, etc. It got her rather upset, and got her suspicious as to whether I did that on purpose or as to whether my decision skills were very flawed (EN4 out the window IOW) :-( I told her that I made a mistake and that I'm still in my development and not quite where I need to be. She ended up saying she was cool with it, however she basically expressed her concern for it again I believe on Tuesday, so I called her and we talked about it where she said that it was more-so self-deprecating humour she was using and that that was her issue, and not what I did.

Well I definitely set it off regardless, so I must say I definitely take responsibility for her feeling that way. It's interesting 'cause she told me to trust her when she tells me that she's over something, yet I know better than that (IOW I know to pay attention to what she does as opposed to what she says, and what she did definitely expressed that she wasn't over it). I don't see how I could've misinterpreted it in this case, considering she literally mentioned her demotion within her msg :-(

There's also been mention of other crazy stuff such as naughty video recording, threesomes, etc. She's actually mentioned that she's cool with having a threesome from the get-go, as long as it's agreed upon in advance. She also mentioned to me lately however that she typically only sets up threesomes herself if she's known the man for > 3 months and it's his b-day, so maybe for my next one. At first I thought that she meant that she meant that she wants to set one up for us for this b-day of mine in a few weeks as an exception, as I had misread her msg. However now that I've re-read it a few times, it seems more like empty wording, or potentially her attempt at rewarding me with sexual variety if I keep her around.

Speaking of sexual varierty, I've been working on that one for her. We've been doing different kinds of massages and I started a sensual one on her last week-end, so I'm thinking of doing one on her each time I see her.

Good article on rejection

2009-04-27T00:07:00.005-10:00

Note from Red Pill: I don't think all of the stuff this guy says is accurate, but the point is. I don't think that rejection is as bad as he makes it sound, etc. Keeping rejection in perspective, it isn't all that bad. You aren't going to die or lose limbs because a woman turns her back to you.

Also the part about rejection activating the same part of your brain as physical pain, may not be true either.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pink Elephant in the PUA's Room: Rejection

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was at a serious sticking point in my inner game; I was becoming overly aggressive, negging too much, and relying on coaching my friends to hookups (successfully) rather than going out for just myself. It seemed to me that all the failures i've had were adding up, while the successes were just replacing each other.

Then I read an article by a guy named "Entropy" posted by a guy over on the Atlanta lair boards. It shattered the mental block I was forming.

Rejection: He who gets rejected, gets laid by Entropy

There's an elephant in the room of the PUA community. Very few guys talk about it, yet everybody experiences it... A LOT. It's rejection. And for a subject so largely ignored, your success hinges on few things more than how well you deal with it.

I'm about to say something you don't want to hear. It's anathema to everything we stand for and hold dear. But pick up really boils down to a numbers game.

Yeah, I said it. And it's true.

The only sure-fire way to succeed and get laid often is by approaching an ASSLOAD of sets.

Those awesome routines you memorized? They might take you from 1% success to 3%.
That cool new haircut? From 3% to 4%.
New wardrobe? Makeover? look like a goddamn rock star? From 4% to 5%.

Even the most weathered veterans and gurus bat a meager 10-20%. And if you account for pre-selection (more on that below), and difficulty of venues, you're looking at more like 7-8% against the most high value women. (Note: these are all just estimates based on what some guys have posted in the past. No, I don't have references. This isn't a goddamn thesis.)

Think about it for a second. What else in this world can you be considered not just good, but GREAT at for failing nine times out of ten? If you missed 90% of your shots in basketball, no one would let you near a court. If you failed 90% of your exams in school, you wouldn't make it a semester.

Those rejections add up fast. They take a hefty toll on everyone's self-esteem. This is a brutal sport we're engaging in -- only the strongest can weather the storm of consistent rejection and keep on trying. It's sexual selection, which literally translates to survival of the fittest.

Can you handle that night when three straight sets blow you out HARD? Are you able to not take it personally? What about going home four nights in a row without a single number? These are the things newbies have to look forward to but nobody tells them about. This shit is HARD. It will take your ego and beat it into the fucking ground night after night with no apologies.

It's the guys -- no, men -- who can stand up to that abuse and keep trying that end up succeeding. Why? Because they're sexually selected. They have the tenacity, flexibility and pure drive to break through, and these are the men that women are inevitably attracted to.

A lair leader in a large city told me once that over 90% of the guys who joined were gone within six months. Of that minority who stay, only a small handful ever truly get good. Nobody tells you this when you find the community.

In the end, your success will come down to how well you weather rejection. If you can't handle it, you'll find a reason to quit, you'll create limiting beliefs that will bar you from any real progress, and you'll become a keyboard jockey. (Note: If you have more posts on any single PUA forum than you have opened sets in your entire life, you are a keyboard jockey. Just had to get that out.)

But the most common way guys slink away from rejection lies in something called pre-selection. I do it. You do it. Everyone who I've ever met in the community does it to some extent. It's where you pick your targets from afar. This is where retarded claims like "I can go five for five" come from (lame marketing ploys, by the way). Guys wait and see which girls give them eye contact first. Or they'll dress like Marilyn Manson and stand in a goth club until they're opened. Or they'll wait around for a lone wolf or an easy two-set. They'll go for the drunk HB6's instead of the HB10 with three guys standing around her. Why? Because it's easier. We're ALL guilty of this. And it stems from the same cause: fear of rejection.

How are we to improve without thrusting ourselves in front of the screeching headlights of rejection? Subjecting ourselves to these painful possibilities is what ultimately forces us to grow. This is what us more experienced guys are naive to. We get comfortable in our old habits. HB8 SNL's are like clockwork to us, so we do little more than show up and collect our reward (once again, I'm guilty party numero uno here).

So why not try that HB10 with three guys around her? Or try that posh club with deafening house music and a $40 cover instead of the same hometown bar you've been wrecking for months? Push yourself. Throw yourself to rejection and learn to love the pain.

Studies have shown that being rejected by another human being activates the exact same neurons in our brains as physical pain does. You go to the gym because it's good for you. No pain, no gain, right? Condition yourself to love psychological pain. Tear your own ego to shreds. It's the only path to progress.

Good article by Brad P

2009-04-26T18:41:00.001-10:00

Originally Posted by Brad P.
I posted a LR+ a week or so back, and I think people were kind of surprised that I was getting blown out, maybe more surprised that I was talking openly about it and how I handle it. So I'm going to make this little piece right here all about blowouts so you can learn to use them to your advantage. If you missed the LR+, here's a link- Cold approaches in S. Florida:

Let me begin by pointing out that everyone is going to get blown out at some point. I don't care how good you are, no one can pick up every girl every time. I frequently see people who are aspiring PUAs do their thing, and it's obvious that they're still fearing the blowout. If you expect to be some kind of lady killer PUA zen master uber player, yet you still fear rejection and embarrassment, that's shows you're pretty naive about what it takes to succeed. Rejection and embarrassment are temporary conditions which go away very quickly. Being able to deal with situations that would be embarrassing to most people is a prerequisite to succeeding with women. If you're letting little things like embarrassment and social pressure stand in your way, you probably don't have the balls to attain massive success with women. Having balls is the #1 most important thing you need to succeed with women. If you're trying to be a big player there will be constant challenges on every lay and you need to be able to stand up to them. CONSTANT challenges. It never really lets up. You have to get used to it.

Even if you don't want to be a player, you just want to get a girlfriend and be happy, there will be CONTANT challenges. If you don't have balls, your GF is going turn you into her little bitch boy. That's just the way women are.

I hear people looking for openers and techniques that will open 100% of the time. Now this is just my opinion, but I think that can be a little counterproductive. Why? because for most guys, the search for that 100% open rate is a sign of fear. When you have fear you tend to play it safe. Women know you're playing it safe, and they can smell fear. Not attractive.

For other guys, this 100% opening thing is a sign of EGO. It's not about a true interaction with another person, it's about you and your skill set. That's not good. It's pretty self centered and it will prevent you from being genuine.

There are all kinds of women out there. Some are compatible with you and some are not. The goal of your opener should not be to get every girl to talk to you. The goal should be this: to find out as quickly as possible whether this girl is what you're looking for. Force the girl to show her true colors. You should be screening the girls and weeding out the incompatible ones as quickly as possible. If your purpose is to screen and evaluate the girl, that is something women pick up on. It's very attractive. It's a different motivation. You are not being motivated by fear of embarrassment You are not being motivated by ego or the need to prove that you can open any set. You are motivated by the confident belief that there are plenty women out whom you would click with, and it's just a matter of feeling a few girls out until you find one.

Are you feeling like if you blow this set or get blown out, it's going to ruin your night? Are you afraid if you blow the set 10 minutes in, you won't be able to attract another set? That's a really fragile way of thinking. You can not expect to succeed at this if you are truly that fragile. You need to develop a thick skin and create a set of stones for yourself.

There are 3 initial possibilities when you do an approach- attraction, blowout, or the 20 minutes go-nowhere set. Obviously attraction is the best option. But what about the other 2? Would you rather be blown out or would you rather have a 20 minute boring conversation that goes nowhere?

I'd rather get blown out. Getting blown out gives me 20 minutes of my life back. 20 minutes for me is really big. A lot can happen for me in 20 minutes. I can find a hotter girl, maybe a 3some, maybe run into an old friend. You never know. Even if I sit there doing nothing, I'll be plotting my next move and that will still be better than the 20 minute go-nowhere set.

I know you've been in that set. It just won't hook. You feel all tentative. The girl is giving you NOTHING. She's all quiet. She's totally boring. You stand there and plow material and get little reaction. You ask her questions and she gives one word answers. Her friends are looking at you funny. When that happens, the problem is not you, IT'S HER! Some girls are really super boring. Stay away from them.

Of course it depends what you're looking for. Some guys like mellower girls and so you might want to develop material that causes the high energy girls to not click with you. For me, I screen for humor, intelligence, and sexual energy in the first 30 seconds. If she's lacking any of those, I'm gone. I'm not wasting a few hours on a girl who doesn't know how to talk, laugh, and fuck. I'm gonna figure it out right away.

To get a bit more specific, I'm opening with things that will cause the girl to blow me out if she doesn't reach my requirements. Like horse girl, for example. A girl who isn't smart enough to grasp the subtly is going to say "Are you saying I look like a horse?" and blow me out. A girl who has no sense of humor is going to take me totally seriously and I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times. A girl who has a wounded inner child is going to look at me all scared cause she knows she wants to fuck me but she fears the cock. Get these girls away from me!

There are so many issued up girls out there. You have to filter them out. I swear like 60% of the hot early 20s girls I meet are on some form of psychiatric medication. Go away crazy girl!

Ok so filtering out crazy girls is a bit advanced. If you're just starting out, go ahead and do the 20 minute go nowhere sets once in a while. Maybe you'll learn something along the way. Go ahead and talk to the Prozac girls for now, but remember what I'm saying here, because the day will come when you are not in scarcity-land anymore and you'll become the selector.

Now, let's talk about the right way to blow out and have it work to your advantage.

DO NOT: Get all upset and walk away with your tail between your legs.

DO: Treat like a normal thing, where the girls did you a favor and saved you some time.

What most guys do is get embarrassed. Then everyone sees that and it plunges your value in the venue. Then you venue change and the cycle begins again. This is not necessary. Embarrassment is a choice.

Remember, from a few feet away, a blowout doesn't really look like much. All it looks like is people who know each other talking, then one or both turn their attention to something else. So here's a few things you can do when it happens so you prevent that plunge in value.

1. Don't push. When they say "Nice meeting you" or whatever. Just say "Nice meeting you too." Then stay right where you are. Just turn your back on them and turn your attention elsewhere. You don't have to walk away. Just stay positive and relaxed. Maybe take the chair next to them and face away. Check the room for your next set. To any bystanders, this just looks like you were done talking. It doesn't look like rejection.

2. Plow and try to save the set. If the girls get hyped up and you can stay in the saddle for a bit, sometimes just showing that much courage creates attraction.

3. Do not even stop to think. Just turn directly to your right and immediately open the next girls you see with the exact same line you were just using. This prevents you from starting a cycle of negative thoughts. Most of the time the same line works fine on the next set of girls. That proves that the problem wasn't you and you don't even have to break stride. This is something even newbies can do. It's really easy.

Some would consider this all an issue of inner game. To me, inner game is created by consistent action. That's why I'm telling your specifically what do do and how to behave in the situation. Your inner game will become consistent with your behavior as the behavior becomes habitual.

In the end, this is how I look at it: The goal is not to open every set. The goal is to get laid. If I get blown out 9 times and then get laid, it's a successful night. The best way to get laid is to screen girls, open with high impact material, and let the boring girls filter themselves out. I fully expect to get blown out 20% of my sets, and if I am not getting that, I take it as an indication that I'm not gaming hard enough. I'm playing it too safe. Any of you who end up sarging with me or learning from me will watch me get blown out and I'm not ashamed. The flipside is that the girls who don't blow me out usually get massively attracted in the first 30 seconds. I'll take those odds. I'll take 80% attracted over 100% opened but not attracted.

The nice thing about this is you can get a strong sexual response very quickly, and this often leads to some really fast lays. I like that. That's why I always say- BLOW ME OR BLOW ME OUT! I really don't care if I get blown out. One of my natural friends The Pheromone Kid always told me- "There's probably another girl who looks just like her right down the block."

I'm just not into the idle chit chat about guys in pleated pants vs. non-pleated pants. That stuff is cool for those who are just starting out, and props to the guys who came up with it back in the day, but there comes a time to push yourself and go for what you really want. A time to leave embarrassment behind forever. That's when you know you've really got some balls and you're really going to succeed with your goals.

I don't expect everyone to agree with this methodology, but I hope it makes a positive contribution to your game.

Brad P.

Random thinking at 4am with no sleep

2009-04-25T03:42:00.012-10:00

I just finished a quiz for my online Criminal Justice class. When SUDDENLY a shot rang out! No that's Peanuts (the comic).

Anyways I've been in a relationship for the past four months. Right now we are taking a little break from each other but still remaining exclusive. Confused? Yes, so am I.

Right before I started my relationship I had made huge strides in my game. I had started number closing 9s. I handed one girl my phone, she put her number in, then handed the phone to her cute friend, who also put her number in my phone. Cool, huh?

I decided to take a risk and do the relationship thing anyways. What can I say? I've been skydiving so when I see the ground 14,000 feet away, I jump OUT of the plane.
I might have been able to get with those 2 asian girls. Maybe the girl that called my old phone, which I recently added minutes to after a few months of inactivity. Or any of those other girls whose numbers I got after my game got tighter. I had less flakes and everything all around was more solid than ever.

I've been a part of this pickup thing and come to several realizations. 1 of them was that a huge part of pickup involves the "inner game". Another is that the PUAs are not always right. Style came to the same conclusion in "The Game" but for a totally different topic.

You won't make it anywhere if your inner game is not at a certain level. Using Serpent as an example, he did not make huge strides in his game until recently (give the man an applause, ladies and gentleman, he's earned it). One of the reasons was because of his limiting beliefs (common inner game issue).
Using myself as an example, I think that a part of me got stuck (in the beginning) was when I first saw our one and only pickup bible on the shelf in the library. I had a girlfriend at the time, but I was interested when I saw it. I didn't pick it up for a few year after that day because I thought reading it would make me a loser.
I didn't realize until later that improving myself (my confidence, speech, emotional control, getting rid of anger issues) is not a bad thing. Improving myself helps my life AND my game. I didn't realize that that was what 99% of the journey is about.

I realized that so far I am happier in a relationship than when having sex with girls I meet. All of that sex and it wasn't as good as when I was with my girlfriend. Sex during a relationship is better, in my opinion.

PUAs go around talking about having sex with lots of women. It wasn't as great as I thought it would be. It was an adventure, but much better with my girlfriend.

They can teach you all of the routines in the world and you can still go home at night at feel like shit. Even after you bang 10 strippers. During the sex you might feel on top of the world, or it might not even be that great to you. After you feel like crap.

I think something that PUAs need to think about more is happiness. Maybe a harem of 10 women WON'T make you happy. Maybe it does. Maybe an exclusive relationship with one woman would make you happy. Or unhappy and empty feeling.
Just because the most popular PUAs do something, does not mean that what they do is the right thing or will make YOU as a person, happy.

One of the things I noticed about pickup is how easy it is to have sex with other guy's girlfriends. This has led to some insecurity from my point of view, into my relationship. It can be like taking candy from a baby.

Confidence can do a great deal for you.

Me being in a relationship with a hot babe (truly, she's been asked to model, be a go-go dancer, etc) has forced me to look at hot women and women in general in a different light. If you look at hot women like PUAs do, you'll look at them like they are great and look up to them like they are shining examples of the human race. When in fact many have low self esteem, issues, bad habits, fart in public, etc.
They are so normal it's incredible. They just "look" hot. They might have the personality of that nerdy librarian or psychotic maximum security prisoner. There is only one way to find out.
Think about that, to me that makes it seem like number closing a hot waitress might not be so hard after all. Check out some dating sites, why are there hot women there? If they are hot aren't they supposed to have lots of friends and be going out with a millionaire?!?! Negative.

I also discovered recently that I (me) in fact, is a Magnum man. As in Trojan Magnums. Yeeeeeeeees!

Right now my game is rusty, but with some practice I know I can be better than I was before. I have been hypnotized a couple times by my inner game hypnotist friend. He rocks. It can feel crazy, like waves going through your head, but it works. Although I don't get completely "put under" like other people do. Which sucks because then I can't experience it.

I probably will do the whole have sex with lots of girls thing again. I never said it was BAD or didn't feel good, now did I?

If your inner game is super tight, you might be able to pull off superhuman feats.

Any bad news? Kind of. I'll keep that to myself. Besides, I'm tired.

AK's Field Report for Apr 23 '09

2009-04-24T06:36:00.001-10:00

Mall/Street/Night Day Game FR - Apr 23 '09

Wow, that goal to approach as many sets as I could where I felt uncomfortable doing it really didn't go as well as I had hoped. I am planning on trying the same exercise tomorrow morning.

Regardless Nitro and I did a fair amount of approaches testing a few things out, which made me realize how far back I've gone lately in my game :-( Will definitely need to work on that within the near future :-)

First Approach of the Day: Hired Gun At Suzy Shier

This approach I definitely did manage to push myself to make.

She was working putting clothes in order of size near the entrance of the store, so I stopped and started talking to her. The vibing was so-so, yet it still seemed like she was at the very least a bit into me. When I told her she seemed pretty interesting and that we should hang out, she said that she'd have no prob with that as long as she could find time outside of work and her daughter. So I ended up getting her to give me her number verbally in order to protect her rep.

It's ENA time:

EN1
-addressed
--got her number in my memory and added it to my phone after walking away to avoid having anyone else know that I got it while she's at work :-D
EN2
-addressed
--I kept talking about how much fun she must've been having putting the clothes in order and what-not and how she must do the same at home. I also opened with "how's your day going" and then transitioned to "I just had to talk to you 'cause you're so...damned...cute," which I'm sure that gave her at the very least curiosity and excitement
EN3
-addressed
--I helped her with a dress that was stuck on another dress' hanger, basically coming out as "daddy helping little girl with her chores"
EN4
-neutral
EN5
-addressed
--after getting to know her to a point, I told her she seems interesting so we should hang out
EN6
-addressed
--the actual remotely direct opener should've risked ticking her off since I'm sure other guys have caller her cute before (although not likely while she was working)
EN7
-addressed
--the body language that I used conveyed this pretty well as we were never directly facing one another at any point during the interaction
EN8
-neutral
EN9
-neutral
EN10
-neutral

Once again I didn't even potentially violate any, so it seems like I'm definitely getting there :-D

The Rest of the Evening/Night

Basically the rest of the interactions in my view weren't all the best, although when we were at a shawarma place with a bunch of the other guys, Nitro ended up approaching a two-set that had been sitting there since before we got there, and I ended up joining them. We tried bouncing them to my place, however I think that the biggest reason why it didn't work was due to the lack of physical escalation.

I've also noticed that a lot of the time I don't address tests properly. Like when we approached a two-set at Horseshoe Tavern and one of them criticized for being in-genuine, as opposed to addressing EN5, I basically ended up insulting her (EN6). In fact, I've noticed that when I'm tired, I tend to do this kind of thing a lot more often, and I hadn't been getting enough sleep the past few nights, so it's very likely that that didn't help my cause. In fact, these girls tested us for EN5 repeatedly, and I at least kept definitely not addressing it, if not violating it :-( When I told them an EN7 story, they turned around as something that would violate their EN7 (saying that my story was staged). I hit the nail on the head for that test, so that was one of not so many situations within that interaction that I passed the test properly :-/

I don't have time to do an ENA on the interaction I just described right now so I'm going to try to do one within the next few days, or maybe I'll even do it during my break on my phone and post it whenever I get the chance.

Oh right; I managed to force myself to make an approach on a girl who was on the phone walking down the street. It worked amazingly well. Hayami later pointed out that she responded so well based on passive value, however I didn't address EN4 well enough to get very far with her (she talked to me for a min or so with her phone in her hand in front of her face without her being able to hear the person on the other line) :-D

AK's Field Report for Apr 22 '09

2009-04-22T17:17:00.000-10:00

Street/Gym Day Game FR - Apr 22 '09

Damn, today was amazing. I hadn't gone out with the purpose to sarge in just over a week now. Nitro and I met up to do some exercises and then went sarging from there on. I made an approach at Eaton Centre, but that didn't quite got anywhere as she got a call and her friend was waiting to meet her from what it seemed (maybe it was an excuse to leave although it didn't seem to, but oh well :-D).

Street Game on the Way to the Car

On my way back to my car from the Eaton Centre, I opened a gal I walked almost besides for maybe 20 secs.

So I got myself to open her, and we started having an awesome conversation where she contributed to the convo and everything. Now there were a few down-sides to me having been avoiding to go out just to sarge, but I'll discuss that in a separate section below. Anyhow, I ended up getting her number and even setting up a date with her after I came home several hours later for next week :-D

I'm testing a few new things as I've noticed I've been trying more or less the same tactics over and over and wondering why it doesn't seem to ever work. Seems I've mostly forgotten to "test everything" as I like to do. She shall be known as Fox Girl from now on, relating to where she works.

K, so ENA time for this one:

EN1
-neutral
EN2
-possibly addressed, but most likely neutral
--My jokes didn't really seem to go too far, and my attempt to give her a range didn't seem to do anything for her. However I definitely tried getting her to have emotions, and she emitted curiosity for sure judging by the questions she asked. Any other emotions however I didn't sense from her, even though we talked about someone getting a ticket for having parking in front of a fire hydrant (RE: a car we passed by), keeping positive, etc.
EN3
-addressed
--talking about her career, she mentioned a number of companies that focus mainly on childhood movies. I guess it's possible she addressed her own EN3 with that, hmm :-/
EN4
-neutral
--I made a very measly effort to lead the way around cars when we were crossing streets, definitely don't think it was enough to address it
EN5
-addressed
--told her she seemed really interesting and that we should hang out sometime before asking for her number, which made her realize I was interested in sticking around
EN6
-possibly addressed
--confronting her about her mood could likely piss her off as I typically do with my "how's your day going" opener
EN7
-neutral
--I did make sure to walk on the outside of the curb, but I never made mention of it (in fact, I was walking on the outside of the curb from when I opened her)
EN8
-neutral
EN9
-neutral
EN10
-neutral

Well I didn't even potentially violate any, so that's definitely some progress, I'd say :-D

Gym Girl from a Few Weeks Ago

This girl that I initially met where my approach seemed to have gone well yet I never ended up getting a number for or making any plans, I've been seeing in my group ex class ever since I mentioned to her that I was going to it. I didn't get a chance to talk to her last week, but I did today.

I tried getting her to race me, which was what the initial opener involved, however she said she was too tired and that I always caught her at the wrong time. I told her we should race outside the gym but she said that she couldn't due to some knee issues. It really seemed like she wasn't into me and it was just me contributing to the convo, and she basically ended up blowing me off, so I am no longer going to attempt to game her.

If I wanted it to go anywhere, I'm now thinking I should've attempted for an instadate at the Starbucks down-stairs or something of the sort.

I've been talking to more and more girls at the gym lately. I am hoping that this doesn't make seem creepy :-/

Anyhow, ENA time for this one:

EN1
-neutral
--while I was speaking to her at the end of class with many other people around, I spoke to her as though we knew each other :-D
EN2
-neutral
--I asked her a number of questions to figure out her parking situation compared to the amount of time per day she spends at the gym, which didn't seem to peak her interest but only kind of act suspect towards me. Therefore an attempt was made to address this one, however it didn't seem to go anywhere :-( She didn't seem to like any of my jokes either :-/
EN3
-neutral
EN4
-addressed
--I tried taking initiative in setting up an event outside of the gym for us to race
EN5
-likely violated
--she saw me talking to one of the female instructors (although in my defense, that instructor hadn't seen me in a while and was asking me how I'd been and what-not) :-/ Regardless, it's not the first time she's seen me talking to other girls, so since I haven't done anything specific to address this one, I'd be leaning more towards it being violated
EN6
-neutral
EN7
-possibly violated
--it's rather likely that I am starting to give out the vibe of the creepy guy who goes to the gym to pick chicks up considering she's seen me talk to a few girls, and especially considering the reaction some of them have given me (although I haven't had anything worse than neutral reactions, so I'm very likely over-emphasizing this point) :-/
EN8
-neutral
EN9
-addressed
--again, she saw me talk with at least one other girl this time (one of the female instructors)
EN10
-neutral

Now I'm starting to see why there was no attraction involved: I barely addressed any ENs and possibly violated a few :-(

The Affects of Avoiding Going Out Just to Sarge

I'm starting to think that I should very likely start doing this a few times a week. Here's a list of the reasons I've noticed that have changed since I've last gone out with the purpose of sarging:
-have practically forgotten how to kino :-o
-gotten out of the habit to make sure I had the right number (although I did have her confirm it, I didn't use my latest trick :-/)

I guess it's not as bad as I thought. Regardless, tomorrow I'm going to go out with one and a half goals in mind:
1. Look for and make approaches I'd typically avoid for one reason or another (an eg. from today is on my way back to my car, there was a girl who was standing in a street-car shelter and there were a bunch of ppl I had to get through to get to her)
1.5. Aiming for an instadate and seeing if I can make one work

Confidence

2009-04-21T17:34:00.002-10:00

Be confident, girls love confidence. The game gurus sell you routines and stuff. Being confident and carrying yourself confidently does a lot.

Thank you and goodbye.

AK's Field Report for Apr 21 '09 + Guelph Girl F'up

2009-04-21T16:32:00.000-10:00

Elevator Game FR - Apr 21 '09

I was going to go out somewhere today after finishing my laundry although I was rather tired in order to have the opportunity to make an approach, however I was saved by the elevator :-D

So I made this one rather similarly to the last elevator approach I had made. Here's how it went:

I greeted the girl who was just approaching the elevator as the door opened as I was coming from the laundry room. I greeted her with a "Hello" and she said "Hi" back. I then asked her how her day's going, and she replied, "OK" I replied, "Just OK, that bad, eh?" She replied, "No, it's pretty good." To that, I replied, "Nice, getting better already, eh?" She laughed a bit (perhaps uncomfortably). I then decided to comment on her brightly red hair, so I said, "I'd have expected it would've been great to match the bright colour of your hair. And for that matter your nails as well," as I noticed her nails were the same colour as her hair. She laughed a bit more as the door opened for her floor which came prior to mine. She then slowly left the elevator still laughing, almost as if she was expecting me to do something else (like perhaps try and get her number or something :-o). Oops, opportunity missed.

Regardless, this calls for an ENA:

EN1
-neutral
--almost not applicable considering there was no one around during the interaction, however I definitely can't think of anything I did to violate it regardless ;-)

EN2
-addressed
--went from very likely bored to excited (or whatever might be attributed to giggly and shy), to curious

EN3
-possibly addressed
--I very likely upper her mood hence taking care of the little girl within, giving her an emotional embrace :-/

EN4
-neutral
--sure, I made the approach, but I really didn't do anything else to address this (perhaps having taken accountability for her "feeling better already" as I often do would've addressed this one :-/)

EN5
-addressed
--I was mentioning things about her that made her unique such as her hair and nails

EN6
-neutral

EN7
-possibly (although unlikely) violated
--we were in a closed area where she had nowhere to go if she wanted to escape. On the other hand by the end of the interaction, she slowly left the elevator almost looking back as she exited, which would not have been the reaction of someone who was afraid, so I doubt it was violated :-D

EN8
-neutral

EN9
-neutral

EN10
-neutral

So to summarize, that's:
2 addressed
1 possibly addressed
1 possible (although unlikely) violated

Hmm, seems like I have yet some work to do :-)

Guelph Girl Follow-up

I'm not going to get too deep into this one, however I was going through my notes that I took when I was at Frank's Social Circle Building seminar, and I came across a part that mentioned that an FB is not someone for instance you'd take to the movies. It made me realize that I've been doing "girlfriend-like stuff" with this girl, so I'm treating her more like a non-exclusive gf.

I also came to the conclusion that I had been mistaking her EN5 tests for reaction to jealousy, so then she qualifies as non-exclusive gf as that was the only criterion I had thought she was not passing :-o Now I'm just trying to decide as to whether this is considered any type of commitment, although the lack of exclusivity is making me lean more towards the fact that it isn't. Reason I am thinking about this is because I have adopted the reasoning that I will not commit to a girl until I've been with her for at least 3 months. I am not only doing this because I know that it was one of Frank's rules, but even more-so because most girls don't even seem to stick around for that long. I know for a fact that I am addressing this girl's ENs all the time (although I might miss some here and there).

In fact, I completely accidentally addressed her EN8 last week-end and she told me how amazing it was :-D The situation was that she had put my cordless phone in my room in the charger and when I asked her why she did that (EN3), she said that she did it because she felt she was just sitting there and had nothing to do while I went to the washroom. I asked her nicely not to do it again as it's bad for the batt to charge it too often. She replied, "Fine then. Next time I'll just masturbate as I wait." I replied in a serious and perhaps even a bit of an excited voice, "That would be awesome. I definitely encourage you to do that" :-D She later on told me how most guys would be all weird about it and how happy she was that I was comfortable with it, BAM!!

Another really interesting event was when we went mystery shopping at the departures gates at terminal 1 of YYZ. We had to get escorted in order to clear security into the departures terminal since we weren't flying. So we both went to the washroom, and since I took longer, apparently our escort tried to AMOG me. I've never had a girl tell me that a guy has tried to AMOG me before. I felt respected beyond belief. Apparently he called me high maintenance and "pretty boy," which she felt he was using as a derogatory term to make me look bad. I told her that he seemed a bit gay as I was trying to read what it said on his badge at one point and I noticed he gave me a huge smile. She caught on my suspicion of him thinking I was trying to check out his crotch. It didn't seem like I violated her EN10 for me with that one, so I believe I did well.

Regardless, I need to up my recruiting skills, as my attraction for this girl is really starting to go through the roof :-o I should probably meet up with Circa Girl sometime soon at the very least. She seems to be missing me, although I will have to figure out whether she deserves FB status in my book based on the way she's been treating me.

AK's Field Report for Apr 17 '09 + ENA catch-up

2009-04-17T18:43:00.000-10:00

Hmm, again starting to end up wasting a bit too much time too late at night, sitting on the notebook and in result not getting enough sleep. Will very likely need to add a new step to my system to fix this :-/

Elevator Game FR - Apr 17 '09

I made my first approach today very early in my day, as I was on my way to work. I still ended up missing out on an approach later on, although I was feeling quite anti-social by that point unfortunately.

Regardless, the way that the elevator interaction went was I greeted the girl who was entering the elevator several floors after I had entered it when it was initially empty. She said "hi" back. I then asked her how her day's going, and she replied, "Oh! Good, how about yours?" I replied, "Mine's great, thanks. Just good, that bad, eh?" She replied, "Well no, it's fine." To that, I replied, "Wow, that's even worse, from good to fine. It's going down-hill already :-o Yup, fine's even worse than good."

I am just realizing as I'm typing this that instead of aiming for my usual goal of trying to make her feel better, I very likely did the opposite by telling her how her day's getting worse. A lot of the time when I confront the girl about her day being "just good" and that I hope she feels better soon, she replies that it's great, and I take credit for the supposed raising in her mood.

Regardless the next thing that happened was another lady entered the elevator a few floors later, and our conversation basically stopped there.

Again, I think that this opened has it's time and place, and this one was very likely not the right combo (of time & place) for it :-( I'm going to do an ENA of the interaction anyways though.

EN1
-addressed
--I guess in this case it was for the better; I stopped talking to her once the other person entered the elevator. Considering the direction the convo was taking (plus I noticed after I stopped talking that my voice tonality wasn't the best), I very likely came out as a bit of a weirdo :-o

EN2
-addressed
--she at the very least went from surprised that I asked her how her day was going, to confused about how "good" would mean that she's not doing so well

EN3
-neutral

EN4
-possibly addressed
--I took the initiative to start the convo (not sure if that really counts :-/)

EN5
-neutral

EN6
-neutral

EN7
-violated
--considering my voice tonality was a bit off/weird, I have the feeling that this very likely creeped her out

EN8
-neutral

EN9
-neutral (I lost my scarf the other day, so god is helping to strip me of my passive value ahead of plan :-o)

EN10
-neutral

Catch-up ENAs

I wanted to do some ENAs on the approaches I've made the past few days as I've really been missing out on them :-)

Hired Gun Manager Girl from Yesterday (Apr 16 '09)

EN1
-possibly violated
--I busted on her a few times in an open area with co-workers and customers nearby (in front of the cash register the last time), which btw could've very easily violated EN4 as well :-o

EN2
-addressed
--I busted on her which very likely got her scared leading to defensive (hoping that's an emotion), then back to her happy chatty self
--on a side-note; she addressed this one on her own quite a bit though, so I'm not sure how much I contributed to it :-/

EN3
-addressed
--I told her "a little secret" about how we as humans are the most adaptable species, so we shouldn't let the weather control how we feel (went into a bit more detail)

EN4
-violated
--by busting on her, especially directly in front of people at least once, I made it seem like she was flirting with me and therefore being responsible for the interaction (although she was quite the motor mouth, so she technically was responsible for it, which I should've probably tried to find a way to turn around, perhaps by starting to ask her more questions about her :-/)

EN5
-neutral

EN6
-addressed
--by busting on her, I was willing to tick her off by calling her out on her getting a bit too deep with personal questions and such

EN7
-possibly violated
--when I tried clothes on in the change room, I only came out when I was done trying them on and back in my original clothes, so I was in there pretty long. She told me not to be shy at one point while I was in the change room, so she very likely could've been wondering what I was up to and/or plotting in there :-/

EN8
-neutral

EN9
-neutral

En10
-possibly addressed
--I made mention of my queer eye for a straight guy, although I think that it was a pretty weak attempt to address this EN :-/

Dollarama Customer Girl (Apr 16 '09)

I was hesitating to even do an ENA on this one considering I barely found her attractive plus the fact that the interaction basically went nowhere, however I'll do one anyways just for the practice :-D

EN1
-neutral

EN2
-neutral or violated
--I think there was just one emotion; confusion. I believe that this would violate this EN :-/

EN3
-neutral

EN4
-neutral

EN5
-neutral
--this one was the one she tested me on and while I didn't violate it, I definitely didn't address it either

EN6
-neutral

EN7
-neutral

EN8
-neutral

EN9
-neutral

EN10
-neutral

Wow, that was a lot of neutrals. I guess there wasn't all that much involvement in that interaction, so it would make sense that there weren't many ENs that got touched :-/

Either way, I think I'm going to leave it at that for now, and I will aim for doing at least one ENA per FR from now on :-D

AK's Field Report for Apr 16 '09 + Guelph Girl Analysis Update + Return of First Circa Girl

2009-04-16T19:52:00.003-10:00

Very interesting how this life is turning out. Wasting time on the notebook 'til crazy hours like I used to, yet surfing on some really interesting stuff (such as eBay where I hadn't gone in ages). I've missed it, however at the same time my girl situation seems to be developing even more interestingly :-o

Store Game FR - Apr 16 '09

Well on my way to the store, I saw at least one cute gal, but I unfortunately was unable to force myself to approach her.

Once I entered the store I was going to, I noticed a really cute store clerk who greeted me first. I went to the men's section, and she came over to help me. She ended up helping me pick out a good amount of shirts which was what I was shopping for. She was very friendly, and extremely high in EN2. I of course took that opportunity to bust on her. She seemed to take my busting a bit too personally. I tried thinking of a way to try and get her number, however I couldn't think of a way to do so without violating her EN1 considering the store was basically open concept :-( It turned out she was the manager of the store.

I think I might come back there sometime just to try and get her number, although I'm not too sure how likely that would be.

I didn't want to count that towards my count since she was a hired gun, so I ended up approaching a gal at Dollarama. She really wasn't all that attractive, which would very likely be the reason for her EN5 test I got immediately after I asked her how her day was going. That approach didn't go far at all :-/ Probably for the best anyways, since she wasn't all that attractive to me :-)

Guelph Girl Update on Evaluation

So I was thinking about it, and I realized that as per my current creteria, she actually doesn't quite qualify as a fuck buddy at this point. Reason being is that she acts upon her jealousy, considering she knows I am seeing other women. I could be wrong in my analysis, as she only seems to get more agitated if I do something stupid like come to her wreaking of perfume (which btw I hadn't even noticed at the time). Otherwise she just seems to keep mentioning how I must be dealing with other gals and what-not.

I therefore don't actually see anything wrong with that, so I'm thinking as to how I should modify this criterion :-/ I guess I'll keep thinking about that. In the meanwhile, I'll keep her in the fuck buddy category :-D

First Circa Girl

The First Circa Girl SMSed me perhaps about a month ago when I had fucked the hell out of Guelph girl and I was way too tired to fuck again, asking me if she could see me that night. She never responded to my 2 SMS' I sent in reply. I also tried calling her, and I believe I got her voicemail. I then got a call from her a few days later I believe, but it seemed like she had called me by accident (I could hear background noises as if her phone was in her pocket or something). That btw happened perhaps another month or so before-hand as well :-/

Anyhow, I hadn't heard from her since then, yet tonight out of the blue she SMS' me apologizing saying she's been distracted with things and asking if we can hang out sometime soon. Wow! Seems like I don't even need to sarge for girls to be coming back to me. What's next; Ukrainian Girl 1 coming back out of the blue after having ignored me for the last month or so? :-/ Not likely at this point, but I'm pretty sure it could very likely happen again.

Either way, this time First Circa Girl actually replied to my responses via SMS and she ended up telling me she hadn't fucked since the last time she saw me and asked me politely to fuck her sometime soon :-D Very interesting how things end up turning out, aint it? However, due to personal issues, I am going to have to push her back a few weeks, unfortunately :-( Or maybe I'll see if there's a work-around to it. Guess I'll think about that a bit more, and I'll see where my mind ends up taking me :-D

AK's Final Field Report for Apr 15 '09 + Finalization to AK's Current Guidelines + Guelph Gal Situation

2009-04-15T16:32:00.002-10:00

Wow, I feel friggin' amazing! :-o

I just came to the conclusion that for the past little while (perhaps past few months or as long as I've had this goal of making 5 approaches per day), I've been allowing sarging to run my life :-o I feel so free, and I owe a fair chunk of my realization to Ken.

With that, I've also come up with what I think will be the finalization of my guidelines towards my goals for now, but first I'll do my last FR of the day :-D

Gym Day Game FR - Apr 15 '09

Wow, 3 approaches all without having the goal of sarging. It's completely changed my mood, and I truly feel amazing!

Teaching Cougar

The first approach I made while waiting for the elevator from the garage at my gym to the floor my gym is on. She looked like a cougarish type (probably in her 40s), and I struck convo with her. Even when the elevator basically filled up with a number of peeps between her and I, we still continued to talk for a bit. It was rather excellent, to use a borrowed term ;-)

BTW she ended up being some teacher in a school who said she wasn't looking forward to the gym. I could tell she look rather tired. Must've been a long day at work (next time I'll be sure to share my observations as that would very likely constitute as emotional relating or at the very least something to the sort of a cold read :-) ).

Gothish Gal Waiting in Line

Then after I changed and went to wait for the group exercise class I was going to to start, I noticed a number of cute girls, so I approached the one at the end of the line and I used my usual "how's your day going opener." It worked absolutely wonderfully by opening her up and getting her to start talking about her day. Unfortunately a friend of hers came out of the previous group ex class which we were waiting ot finish up and took her away from me.

While there were other girls in line I could've approached, instead I went to wait at the beginning of the line (since no one else was following directions, they were all waiting in the wrong place so I ended up being at the beginning of the line as per all of the surrounding signs :-D). Anyhow, this blondie kept looking at me. Must've been EN9 yanking at her after she saw me approach that gal.

I think that next time I get this type of situation, I am going to at the very least say "hi" once we get in the room. It's not the first time a girl has stared at me at the gym, and I once did exactly that, although I wished I did more last time. Regardless, that'll be my bare minimum (I remember making this statement in a previous post, but I must've forgotten about it 'til now as I'm typing this here post :-o). Anyhow, my future plans for such situations have been duly noted :-)

Some-what Cute Gal Who Reminded Me of Gym Gal From a Few Weeks Ago

This is where it got really interesting.

I for some reason thought that this girl that was setting up in the group ex class once we got in the group ex room looked like that gal I had met a few weeks ago twice at the gym, so I asked her if we knew each other. She replied that we didn't so I told her that she reminded me of someone I know and asked her if her name was <girl from last week>, however she said it wasn't. She didn't hook at all.

However unbeknown to me, the girl who I thought she was was very likely observing the interaction. The reason that I'm under that impression is because after I set up my mats, I noticed her sitting on her mat in the same part of the group ex room she was the last time I saw her, and she was starring at me :-o I smiled at her, but I should've at the very least waved. I wanted to go talk to her and finally try to make plans or get her number or something.

Once the group ex class was done, I asked the instructor a question regarding one of the exercises I was having troubles with. By the time I was done asking my question, she was gone. Then when I headed back to the change room, I saw her getting on an elliptical.

I suspect that she feels that I'm out of reach considering I have a high EN9. Either that, or her EN5 has been violated as she no longer feels unique to me :-(

Alas, I still feel amazing, and am ready to keep moving forward at full speed. Especially considering the cherry I've decided to add on top of my new guidelines towards my goals :-D

The Finalization of the Guidelines for the Time Being

Alright, so considering I've been shooting myself in the foot lately by forcing myself to sarge and keeping myself away from my notebook, I have decided to have a new commitment towards my leverage. I've noticed that I have troubles getting things done that need to get done, so I am going to combine it with my sarging goals.

What I am going to aim for starting tomorrow is to do at least two things for myself/for my apartment + at least one approach during my everyday activities (and to help myself with that, I can add activities that would involve passing through places where there are more likely to be girls worth approaching). If I don't accomplish this each day, I do not get to use my notebook at home.

Examples of such things would include:
-cooking myself a meal
-washing dishes
-going shopping
-cleaning my floor
-investigating the legal situation with the girl in LA that I will very likely be taking to court
-tidying up my receipts
-tidying up my closet in my room

Those were things I've come up with off the top of my head. I'm sure there are more. I also need to make sure I keep working through "I'm a Man That's My Job," as I keep finding the exercises within it extremely useful every chance I get to go through them. I'd also like to re-read the book without doing the exercises once I'm done going through them, as I've been extending this for way too long.

As a side-note, I've been doing impressively well with making sure my place is rather tidy every morning before I go about my day, so I'm figuratively patting myself on the back for that :-D

So there I have it; 1 approach + 2 things for myself on a daily basis from now on = daily notebook use at home. I'm liking the looks of that formula.

Guelph Girl

This is starting to bug me a bit, but I think that I've very likely fallen for this girl, so I've been doing some analysis. I've gone through my criteria, and she definitely qualifies to be "non-exclusive girlfriend" material in my books. I also did a bit of re-arranging with my criteria while I was at it, adding a few extra rules here and there as well as moving a few that I felt belonged in a different section and what-not. Regardless, that didn't change where she belonged. The scary part is that if she does indeed end up moving to Toronto which she is planning on doing (waiting to see if her Uni x-fer will go through), she will qualify at the very least to be an exclusive girlfriend, which neither of us seems to be interesting in at this point :-/

Anyhow, I then went through the list of men's ENs and I realized that she hasn't violated any of them, and has been addressing a fair number of them (2, 4, 5, possibly 7, definitely 8, and 10).

I really wish I had my shift together, however I still know for a fact that I have a fair amount of work that I need to do on myself (mainly inner game bull, and some some-what minor outer game adjustments). Therefore there's no way that I can be exclusive with her at this point, even if she does end up moving to Toronto. Given due time, maybe. However she knows she's a fuck buddy at this point (in fact, I used my explanation of where she stands in my hierarchy to address her EN5 a few interactions ago :-D).

AK's Field Report for Apr 15 '09 + AK's Game Plan Guidelines

2009-04-15T11:53:00.001-10:00

I believe I missed to mention a few things in yesterday's post, plus I've come up with a few additional details to the new game plan. I will start off with my FR for today though, which should be short & sweet :-D

Head Office Work Game FR - Apr 15 '09

Well I decided to try opening a girl while I was at head office of my company on training (which btw is full of beautiful women) while I was waiting for her male co-worker to figure something out. She kept looking at me and smiling, so it seemed to basically be on from the get-go. I opened with my typical "how's your day going," however it didn't end up going very far. Seems to be becoming a bit of a trend lately, used to work better it seems. I think it's really time I start experimenting with new openers, although for work I'll have to make sure to keep them low key :-)

I was hoping to be able to open at least 1 more girl in my venture to a few stores after work, however unfortunately I never saw a girl that appealed to me during that time. I am still going to the gym to a group ex class, so I'll see how that goes. Again, it's one of those environments that asks for low key and therefore indirect approaches. I've heard of a few recommendations for gym openers (I've tried the a few of them and the last one I've heard has worked for me the last time I tried it), however I think I should see if I can come up with some on my own :-D

The Game Plan - Additional Guidelines I Will Be Following

I am going to start this part with describing the goals I am aiming for at this point.

The Goals

Considering I haven't decided at this point what lifestyle I would prefer, I can't set any long-term goals at the moment. However, I am experimenting with having a harem to see how I will like it. I was seeing (and laying) 2 girls each week at one point, and I really liked it. Now I'm down to 1 and she's not one of the two girls. I am still working on recruiting, however unfortunately I am not doing so well thus far.

So I am going to simply jot down a list of what I'd list to accomplish within the next short while (hopefully weeks to months period):
-be able to "make the hoe say no" (IOW avoiding ejecting from the interaction before I know for sure I can't take it any further)
-become comfortable approaching no matter where I am/what I'm doing (of course, being able to calibrate to the environment is also key for this one)
-testing the waters starting with building a harem to determine my preferred lifestyle, as explained in the previous paragraph above
-to have game so that I actually attract girls based on skill and not based on passive value

Steps I'm Taking Towards Each of the Goals

First of all, I plan on not over-planning, although on the other hand I've noticed that when I over-plan, I don't end up accomplishing everything, however I seem to accomplish more than when I under-plan, so I might even experiment with that soon :-/

In respect to pushing the interaction to the max, I can't think of anything specifically that I can do other than continuously remind myself to keep going when I'm in a sarge.

In order to accomplish the goal of being comfortable approaching no matter where I am/what I'm doing, I'm aiming for making at least one "everyday" approach each day. To achieve this one, I am willing to do something similar to what I did last summer where I went to Starbucks for eg to read a book and met women both on the way there and once on-location at the coffee shop. Another specific example is shopping downtown and sarging on my way to the store, at the store, and on my way back to my car. The bottom line for this one is that I want to be mixing sarging with my everyday activities as opposed to going out with the specific goal of sarging (although I could do that every now and then, but I definitely don't want to aim for doing this everyday anymore).

I'm skipping the 3rd point since in order to be able to get there, I need to get better at recruiting.

In working towards the last point, I will slowly start to take down my passive value bit by bit. I've already stopped spiking my hair (although I did that because I got tired of it falling out and not looking quite the way I wanted and such). Next, I think I will go one full week-end dressed the way I used to dress (wearing Wal-Mart running shoes, basically boring clothes, etc.) to see if it has any impact on my game. In order to see whether that changes my interactions, I will very likely go out specifically with sarging in mind at least one of those days/nights.

AK's Bag Full of FRs + Brand New Realizations :-o

2009-04-14T15:52:00.002-10:00

Before I start this post, I'm going to do a very quick intro.

This one will very likely be a very long one, and I bet it'll take me over an hour to write up, however the realizations I've made today were huge. However I am going to lead into them with a few FRs. I soooo miss writing journal entries for every time I go out, so I'm going to make up for that with my last few FRs.

Furthermore, I am re-doing my game plan, and I am officially breaking my 5 approaches in order to use my notebook at home rule (yes, I have been cheating a bit as it is, being one of the reasons 0why it hasn't been as affective as I had hoped). More on that following my FRs :-D

3 Dates in 3 Days (Or So Was the Plan) (Apr 8-10 '09)

Right, so I had 3 dates planned within 3 evenings in a row. I will go into detail on each one without further adieu :-)

FR on Date 1 of the Week with Cambridge Girl - Apr 8 '09

So she had canceled our previous date the week before due to her best friend having shown up earlier. She helped me to understand how important it was for her friend that she spent that night (and the next few nights for that matter) with her and that she would not have allowed this if it wasn't her friend's b-day.

Unlike the way I had been screwing up 'til now with giving warnings to girls who had legit excuses for breaking our date (a bit in advance, although it was almost like this one had forgotten it, but I looked past that anyways), I figured I managed to save myself from screwing up with this one.

So I sent her my usual SMS earlier in the day to let me know when she was leaving for our "meet-up." The plans were for her to meet me at my place. I hadn't had a girl meet me at my place in the longest time, and I had decided to see how it would work this time. She replied back to my SMS saying that her dog had been alone all day and that she had to go home to give him attention and that I should come over instead. I wasn't happy with her modifying my initial plans, so she initially agreed to at least come over for a bit.

I ended up speaking to her on the phone, and she started whining. I ended up caving in, so I went to her place when she was done work.

I hadn't realized how much of a mess this girl was. Turned out she was mommy's/daddy's overweight little girl who barely did anything to take care of herself. She lived in an over-priced apartment because her parents were really anal about her being in a good area (near a subway station although she drives, I guess for when she gets drunk with her friends or something). They paid for everything except for her rent and cell phone (so iow they provided her with her car, her insurance for her car, cable, and Internet).

OK, so I guess she didn't make much money due to the depression and her parents were helping her out a bit, so I was willing to overlook that part of the situation.

I realized that her perfume was extra strong. She gave me some IOIs here and there and she hinted at the fact that she wanted to do things, however I ended up hesitating. Before I left, I did end up kissing her however we didn't go any further than that.

When I thought back on the experience the next day, I SMSed her that we were best parting our own ways, after recalling how her dog was licking her face before I had kissed her (I won't mention what the dog had had in his mouth earlier). That plus her disrespect and her weight prob on top of it all really turned me off.

Later on, I had realized that the night I had met her, she was wearing too much perfume as well and Guelph Girl had noticed the smell of her perfume on my clothes and she was calling it rude. I definitely don't blame her. That just gave me additional reason to keep away.

Fortunately she didn't even respond to my SMS, so even better. BTW I decided to let her know my intentions as opposed to simply ignoring her. I know that's how most girls will treat us when they decide they don't want to see us again, however I know I'm better than that. I believe that a high quality man is able to deal with rejection regardless whether he's the giver or receiver, so I put things out in the open and am planning on going about this way in all future situations of the sort. I recall the last girl I did this with, and while I realize how confused she was and what-not, I know that it was the best way to do it. This time I didn't do it verbally however, yet it's still better than leaving her in the dark about it :-)

FR on Date 2 of the Week with Guelph Girl - Apr 9 '09

Dammit, I'm definitely starting to fall for this one, hence why I need to work that much harder on upping my skills and making sure I see other girls.

She has so much respect for me and I know for a fact that she's trying to cover up her feelings for me. She knows I am seeing other girls, and in fact is the first girl I've ever been with who is openly letting my know that she's going to have a date and what-not. Interestingly enough, the only thing I actually wanted from her in respect to other guys is to make sure that they (her and him) use protection. Didn't ask to know when/how many or whatever other details, yet she still seems to be volunteering them.

I am trying to keep up my "you can tell me anything" frame to make her feel free to talk to me about anything she wants (showing her that I am open to even her deepest secrets if she so desired to share them and also that I am able to handle anything she'll tell me).

In fact, I feel so much respect coming from her, that I want to see if I am able to get her to have the most amazing orgasm ever. Will be trying to apply some learnings to her with this goal in mind, and I am addressing her EN 5 by telling her that it'll take time to get her to that point ;-)

FR on Date 3/3 of the Week with Tonic Promoter Gal - Apr 10 '09

Well, this one ended up sending me 4 SMS' in a row saying that something urgent came up. I told her that I'd call her to re-make the plans (yes, I am starting to get that understanding :-D).

So I tried calling her a few days ago, she told me she'd call back as she was in a really noisy environment and could barely hear me :-o She never called back. I tried calling her back the following day, she rejected my call (she has no voicemail, so when after ringing a few times the ring turned into a busy, I knew what that meant, especially considering I've been in the cell phone industry for quite the while now).

I tried calling her today, and due to the language barrier, she misunderstood my asking her if she had plans this Friday for asking her what she did last Friday, so she told me she had to go to a b-day or some bull like that. I really didn't care what she did hence why I didn't actually ask her, but she basically ended up putting her foot in her mouth considering she basically told me she broke our plans just because she found something better to do the way I understood it. She ended up telling me she was about to go into the subway and she'd lose her reception so she'd call me back in a half an hour. She never called me back (and btw she has in the past called me back and she even apologized for not calling back last time when she said she would). Either way, I never got a call back, and I've decided to stop trying to make plans with her. She's wasting my time and she doesn't seem to have any respect for my time at all.

BTW once I found out she was canceling on me, and ended up extended Guelph Girl's visit. I even did a full ENA on her based on the situation which took me a min or two to do while right in front of her. All I found that would be violated would be EN1, and she assured me that it wouldn't be, so she ended up staying an extra night :-D Trying not to see her too often, and I told her that. She says she's OK, but I still need to be careful because I need to remind myself to pay attention to what she does as opposed to what she says. After all, she did tell me that she really likes just spending time with me aside from all the sex I've been giving her :-/

Social Circle Practice @ Friend's B-day FR - Apr 11 '09

I went to a friend's b-day party which was in a huge basement of a bar. The there was the 90's, so I was wearing a long-sleeved soccer jersey from my country as well as my scarf (my country ended up getting all the way to 4th place in the World Cup that year). So that was my get-up.

I realized something I had learned in the lair which I had meant to push myself to try, so I figured what better time to try it than there? So I started going around the room talking to as many people as I could. Not everyone was receptive, however the end result was that I even ended up getting one girl come up to me to talk to me at one point.

I didn't end up getting any numbers or anything like that, yet I still ended up covering at the very least half the population of the party. I liked how the host (my friend) wanted to introduce me to his cute Croatian female friend when I told him I was leaving, and I replied that I had already met her. He took a few steps back from me as he cracked up and then gave me props, telling me something to the affect of him being proud of me :-D

Post-Party Street/Night Game FR - Apr 11 '09

Ended up going street sarging after that with a bro and ran into 2 other bros so the 4 of us did some street/night game together. Didn't end up getting any numbers, however I definitely caught some of my premature extractions and what-not. I hadn't sarged in 6 days which was part of the prob. The rest of it, I am going to share in my huge realizations I've derived today below.

Wow, What Realizations! - Apr 14 '09

OK, so where do I start...

I was walking through the Eaton Centre all tired today, avoiding potential approach after potential approach, when I started getting a number of realizations coming to me. I'm going to list them in point form and then perhaps expand on them where I feel appropriate:
-I've been forcing myself to make approaches within "comfortable areas" and not growing for the past while :-o
-I therefore haven't grown in quite the while (sure, I've been adding some experience here and there but no big growth since I had those 3 or 4 SNLs in a row :-o)
-I have been failing to accomplish any of my short-term goals lately
-I've been cheating in respect to not using my notebook at home before making my 5 approaches every now and then :-o
-Considering all of this, I need a new game plan

Therefore, here's what I've come up with:
-I am going to first of all start working on one new goal until I master it and will then keep adding additional goals while continuing to apply the original one in order to avoid losing it
-I will first aim for making at least one approach per day in everyday situations (I will expand on this one below)
-Going to take down my passive value...in fact I think that I just might strip myself of it by going back to my boring style for at least a week-end to see if my game is any different that way. Plus I'd like to force myself to get my game up to par, and have been getting tired of basically relying on passive value for a fair while now :-o
-Going to start using some new openers that I am deriving from I'm a Man That's My Job

One Goal at a Time

I initially thought that this one was a pretty good idea to avoid over-working myself. However I still might combine a few of the points towards a new goal. Will need to think about that one a bit more (possibly stripping myself of my passive value + making at least 1 approach per day in everyday situations :-/).

That brings me to my next point expansion.

At Least One Approach Per Day In Everyday Situations

Since I've realized that I have been getting used to making my approaches in the same types of environments (Eaton Centre during the day, street/a few small venues during the night), I am going to make this one a priority. In fact, I think that this might be a good one to practice before I strip myself of my passive value consisting of nicer style including nice shoes, etc.

Just to back-track a bit as to the realization that brought me to creating this new route towards achieving a goal: I am remembering how I used to go read a book at Starbucks and I'd meet girls on the street on my way to Starbucks from my car a back and how that ended up getting me laid. I also recall how I'd be heading to the Eaton Centre to meet a bro and I'd end up talking to a girl on the street. I recall walking to court, meeting a girl, and talking to her that I met on the street. It's very likely that the lack of approaches are what's preventing me from making all of these random approaches like I used to (although the first example wasn't exactly random, however it was definitely a lot more than I seem to be doing today). It seems like I've been stuck within my comfort zone the past little while and my growth spur has been ceased :-o I will not have that.

Oh, and my experience with the gal at the gym two weeks ago :-o I forced myself to approach her without thinking about it too much (within probably a min or two from when I got on the treadmill unlike the previous attempts I made when I waited quite the while most likely resulting in violating her EN7). My approach was finally successful, yet I didn't take it anywhere. I even saw her again a few days later where she said she'd be again at the gym and I still didn't attempt to get a number and/or make plans outside of the gym :-o Damn it, I will have no more of these missed golden opportunities! New plan takes affect tomorrow.

I think that I will see how much I can resist using my notebook at home without using it as leverage and I will very likely simply report to a bro as to each day I complete successfully. I am going to aim for making at least one approach for 3 weeks until I go on to my next added item I'd be working on. I might try a new opener here or there, however I won't focus on it. I think that this'll be the best way to approach the situation.

I still need to somehow get myself to push every interaction to the limits. I will have to find a way to do that as well, but I will get there within due time :-)

AK's Update on the Situation

2009-04-08T07:52:00.003-10:00

Apr 8 2009 Where It Mostly-so All Stands for AK

So I haven't even been making my bare minimum of 1 approach per day lately mostly due to work schedules. On Monday I did make 5 approaches, yet within those 5 approaches out of which none hooked, almost all of the girls gave me a "soft blow-out" where they weren't cold to me at all.

I feel that not making approaches makes me rustier, yet at the same time not having enough skill to be able to make something work based solely on that skill is definitely not the direction I am aiming for. I think that Frank's Men's Group weekly meeting will definitely help me with this aspect, yet at the same time I need to kick myself in the ass to start doing more work on my own than I have been lately.

Sure, I have 3 dates in a row for the next 3 nights (meaning one per night). Building that harem I think is slowly coming together. I even surprised myself at how I addressed Guelph Girl's EN5 since that's one of the constant ENs she keeps testing me for. Since she knows I am seeing other girls and she understands there is no commitment between the two of us (in fact, she tells me she prefers it that way even), she told me that I could leave her at any time for one of the girls I decide to get exclusive with. I replied to her that I consider her to be a fuck buddy aka friend with benefits, so at the very least she is a friend. Plus I am exploring different lifestyles therefore the one I'm focusing on at the moment is a polygamous one (didn't exactly use those words, but definitely expressed the same thoughts).

So all of this practice is definitely leading me in the right direction. I am starting to get more and more used to passing tests via addressing ENs, identifying ENs, and most importantly not violating ENs.

That brings me to another point; I think I should start doing a [quick] ENA of every interaction on my phone right after I'm done each interaction. That way I can better identify the ENs. Then when I get to a computer, I can post them on the journal so that they're definitely logged for me to be able to refer to for future reference. So I think I'm going to set that as a new goal within my system.

Otherwise all-in-all, life is getting better; less being late at work, mostly-so getting enough sleep, getting laid at least once a week (and damn, most of the time I get way over-tired from screwing her so much that it takes me at least 24hrs to catch my breath while addressing my men's EN2 :-D).

As for my daily approach "quota" and what-not, I haven't really figured out how to modify that more-so, however I am loving the limitation my current process is putting on me in respect to avoiding using my notebook at home most of the time. I tend to be getting soooo much stuff done, it's great. Although lately I've been starting to fall behind on going to the gym, so I'll need to fix that.

In summary, my points in question:
-3 dates within 3 nights --very good
-taking care of EN-addressing and avoiding violating them --mucho bueno
-need to work on going to the gym more regulary (even a min of 2 times a week is not bad, but this week I'm not even able to meet that) :-o
-will keep my "min of 5 approaches per day, else no notebook use at home for the respective day except for anything urgent such as paying a bill or checking group exercise schedule at gym" policy for the time being
-need to focus on doing more work on myself during my personal time which I lately haven't been doing